68. Oh, I Love Him More!

Anika’s PoV

I settled myself in the room after Arjun left. It is true that asking for forgiveness for the mistakes we did really gives inner peace. When I said I was sorry, he gracefully accepted it. I don't understand this change in me, the anger, sadness everything just vanished the moment he started listening to me. I felt much more confident in talking to him when I pushed our marriage out of the way. The moment I stopped expecting anything from him, I could really see past myself and even admire the man he is. He could have made me stay in the farm house and even locked me up there but he chose to let me go even when all the accusations are still fresh and alive on me.

I refused to take his money even though he insisted. I know he wanted to truly take the expenses but I cannot allow him to do that if I am to save my self respect. I felt pity on him when he turned around defeated, his face held guilt. I was surprised when he held my hand in the car because I thought he would get angry for talking about Arun but he took it in a nice way.

But when sitting back and pondering over the string of events, his calmness tells me a different story altogether. Just like the way I pushed our marriage out of the way, he did too. He needs the baby and he is ready to do anything to have the baby. I no longer matter to him. This mere thought hurt me more than I expected. Only then I knew, I cannot see my life past him. I realized that this life without him is not going to be peaceful for the storm-raging heart of mine. I should practice ignoring my heart’s plea to be with Arjun.

Why do I love a man who has zero trust in me? Why is life so cruel to me? It is just four months into my wedding and we are already separated. All this suffering for a mistake I did, Arun. Why is he even doing this to me? What will he gain by spoiling my marriage? It was him who broke up with me. But eventually, when my feelings for Arjun grew stronger, I would have broken up with him even if he did not. Do I need to find him and know his reasons? I have his number, should I call him? I took my phone and blocked that number, which I should have done in the first place.

Just like HE said, this separation is the needful thing for Arjun and I right now. Talking and doing things instinctively has gone wrong for me until now. I think I should step back and let destiny take its course in my life at this point. I must start concentrating more on my work and my health. I must start to make a living out of what I do the best. I must see Arjun as a friend henceforth. I should forget about Arun for good.

After a week of living by my resolution, I got a call from Arjun. I thought he would call me to check up on me the very next day, or at least he would call me for the doctor checkup. Neither of it happened and I won't lie, it did hurt me for the first two days and I got used to it later. It was so weird to live all alone in a room. This whole week, all I did was to make jewelry, eat and sleep. I never talked to anyone including my mom and Advay. They kept calling me and I sent Advay a message that I am busy and will call when I am free.

“Yes, Arjun.” I picked up the call after four to five rings even though the phone was in my hand. I didn't want to sound so desperate.

“Um… How are you, Anika?” He asked me with hesitation evident in his voice.

“I am very good, Arjun. How are you?”

“Good. I have made an appointment for the doctor's visit tomorrow at 10AM. Will that time work for you?”

“Yes, that should be fine. Um… can you send me the address?”

“No, no, I will come and pick you up. If you are not comfortable, I can stay out during the check up.” He said.

“No, Arjun. I am fine with you being with me during checkup. This is your baby too.”

“Thanks. Is everything ok there? Are you comfortable?”

“Yes, Arjun. I am very comfortable. Thank you for asking.”

“Oh, ok.” He stayed quiet. I don't want him to hang up the call this soon.

“I made almost 30 pairs of earrings in the past week. Everything turned out very nice. I even opened an instagram account and made a virtual store for online selling. I am gaining more followers everyday.”

“Oh, congratulations. Are you taking enough rest? How about the food?”

“The food is ok. I am thinking of cooking inside this room. Have to ask the manager if I have permission to do that. I am fine, Arjun. Don't worry about our baby. I am taking good care of him.”

“I know, I didn't worry about the baby. I was worried about you. I have seen you eat very less when you were here. Eat healthy. Or I can ask Kathir to cook for you.”

“No,no. Don't bother him, Arjun. I can manage.”

“There is no bother. I can bring it to you everyday in the morning when I go to my work. Um… Anyways I will have to pass your hostel to go to my work.” He insisted. This stupid heart dances in joy with his answer. He was acting like he didn't care but he had noticed me eat less. He is not worried about the baby but about me. He is ready to bring me food everyday, I can see him everyday. Would he have thought the same? Nope, don't jump in joy.

“Um.. if it is not too much to ask. I don't think this food here is ideal at this condition. That is why I thought of cooking. I am not sure if they will allow me to cook.” I told the truth.

“No worries, I am glad to bring you food.” He said almost immediately.

“Thank you, Arjun. I … um… I can pay for that.” I told him. I know I am going overboard but something tells me to not expect or accept anything from him. I am not prepared to get hurt again by doing so.

“You know what you said is outrageous, right?” He asked me calmly.

“Not that, Arjun..”

“I have told you so many times to hold your tongue. You always say the wrong thing.” He said that literally made me smile. I stayed quiet.

“I can see you smile. I will see you tomorrow at 9.00 AM with your breakfast. Bye. Take care.” He said and disconnected the call with a light tone. I can also see him chuckle on that sarcastic remark he made. I started dreaming about the next day until I fell asleep.

The next morning, I woke up as usual and did my Yoga. It even helps me in tying my feet to the ground, it calms my nerves. I got ready in a white floral print skirt and a blue blouse. I left my hair open with a side partition and completed my look with a little blue bindi and a bold eyeliner streak. I started waiting for him in the reception from 8.45 AM and I felt so weird with the somersaults that my stomach is making. It is not the first time I am going to meet him but I feel so anxious.

“Good morning, Anika.” I saw him coming into the reception. I stood up from the chair and almost ran to him.

“Good morning, Arjun.” I said with a little smile. I tried hard to tack my heart in one place. He was wearing a maroon button up shirt with his full sleeves folded up until his elbow paired with light blue jeans. The top button was open revealing his long neck and giving a glimpse of his muscled up chest.

“Here, there is breakfast for you.” He gave me a bag. I got it from him.

“Thanks.” I lowered my eyes and tried to stop drooling.

“Eat quickly. We have to leave. I will wait here.” He sat down on the chair. As it is a women’s hostel, men are not allowed in except for the reception. I had no other go than to leave him there and go to the dining hall to finish my breakfast.

“Hey, did you see that man in the reception? OMG, he is so attractive.”

“He is very manly. I am actually waiting for a man like him in my life.”

“Oh, I don't want a man like him, I just want him. He looks absolutely hot and rich.”

“Who is he waiting for? Maybe we can approach him through her.”

“You wait for that person, I am going to talk to him.”

“Hey, he doesn't look like a typical man who will flirt with a girl. Don't talk to him and get insulted.”

“What if he doesn't insult you? How will you know if you don't try? I am going to talk to him.”

The group of girls that came behind me to the dining hall started talking about Arjun. Every remark they made about him made me super angry. I wanted to let them know that he was taken.

“Um… He is my husband. I can introduce you all to him if you want.” I turned to them and told them.

“Oh, sorry.” A girl said with embarrassment.

“You are one lucky girl.” Another girl said.

I finished eating and went to him. He was looking into his phone unaware that there are many eyes on him or he pretends to not notice the eyes on him. Either way, I felt possessive over him but I dont want him to know that.

“We shall go.” I told him when he raised his eyes to look at me.

“Ok.” He walked in front and I walked behind him. He opened the door for me and I sat in. He walked around and started the car.

“Did you notice the girls there? They were all talking about you.” I told him casually. No, I tried to sound casual.

“Oh, I didn't see. I was busy with my work. What did they say?” He asked me. He wants me to tell him what they talked about? I am not going to give him that satisfaction.

“Oh they said you might be here to see your daughter. They were wondering whose dad you were.” I said, containing my laughter.

“I see, but I saw seven girls that were ogling me like they were willing to eat me. Four of them were so beautiful and three were just average. One girl even tried to talk to me. I was not in the mood to flirt with her. So she just went away. Now I feel sorry for her, I should have talked to her.” He said more seriously.

“WHAT? You just said that you were too busy to notice anybody. Did she really try to talk to you?” I asked him in anger and shock for which he chuckled.

“Haha, no. She was just looking at me.” He said.

“So you lied about not seeing them? You looked at her too?”

“Hmph, maybe I did. But she was not my type.” He joggled his shoulders.

“Oh, I see. I don't want you to come and give me my food everyday.” I said to him and turned to my window not wanting to talk to him anymore.

“You look more beautiful in this skirt and blouse. I have never seen you in this outfit before. So I think nothing else registered in my mind today.” He said with a little smile.

“Oh so maybe tomorrow I may not wear a different kind of clothing and you may end up registering other things to your mind. So I don't want you to come here tomorrow.” I stood my ground even though his appreciation of my looks does make me dizzy in the head.

“I have no intention of looking at another girl in this life. So you have nothing to worry about.”

The drive to the clinic took more than half an hour yet it passed like a blink with our chatting and bickering. This is the first time I felt more lively with him.

The doctor said I am anemic and need to take iron tablets and prenatal vitamins. Everything looked nice in the scan and she said we were four weeks pregnant with the size of the fetus. We know exactly how many days we are pregnant. That divinity in Arjun’s eyes when he saw the beating heart of our baby in the scan tells me loads about him. Oh, I love him more! He would make a wonderful dad!

But my string of thoughts were interrupted when he attended the call!

“Anamika, is everything alright?”