Chapter 37

I was a little taken aback by what he said. "Seriously?" I can't believe my question.

"Until now? Don't tell me that until now you're still having anxiety?"

"Yes, I am." The answer was while continuing to eat, I couldn't even swallow even a piece of rice today.

"Are you depressed as well?" I can't take my eyes off him, I want to look into his eyes but it seems like he deliberately bent down and didn't show me his eyes.

"Yeah,"

"Don't tell my mom about th--"

I already knew what he wanted to convey so I didn't let him finish speaking.

"I won't! Don't worry Xander."

I answer this quickly.

Mrs. didn't really know. Ferrer talks about it and it looks like he has no plans to tell his mommy. There are many more that Mrs. Ferrer to his son, I want to tell him because I know he will be happy because he already has a little knowledge of his son but of course I know he will also be sad because he didn't know that his son was going through that before.

I think that Mrs. will suddenly feel that. Ferrer, when she finds out about this, she will think that she is a useless mother because she did not abandon her child. Sometimes when our child is touched or something bad happens, we blame ourselves because we think that we are to blame because we are careless mothers.

"You know what, I have anxiety and depression before too but thanks to Daren, I recover. He was there at times when I needed someone who could understand me and be by my side.

There were days when I was bullied by students because my shoes had holes, my uniform was dirty or the bag I was using was torn but I tried to ignore them because other people were really like that. , what you see can insult you, you will really be insulted.

That was just the beginning, everything got worse when my parents disappeared and I got pregnant. I'm still very thankful that Daren wasn't there, he didn't leave me. I thought at first he was like my classmate's boyfriend, after he got my classmate pregnant he just didn't show up again. I really said that Daren was different, she was one of the reasons why I fought and I got better when I gave birth to Elizabeth.

"Good for you, you have someone ..."

There was sadness in her voice.

"I think that's also what you need Xander." I smiled at him before speaking again. "You need someone to talk, understands you, and someone who stays by your side."

He slowly lifted his head and looked at my swelling.

"Can ..."

"Can you be that person Elyse?"

Suddenly I stopped, I blinked for a moment and smiled as I sank into the brain of what he said.

"Y-Yeah, I'm just here ... Elizabeth and I are just here for you, we'll help you." He held one hand just sitting on the table.

"Thank you." He took my hand and smiled at me.

I swallowed one after another because I could feel the strength of my heart beating now. Was it because of his smile or when he held her hand? Maybe both? Or can I be crazy like that?

A few seconds later we both slowly looked at the hand we were holding.

It was as if we were both lost and we both immediately withdrew our hands.

I just continued eating and so did he. I turned to him and he finished eating, he is currently drinking water.

I just smiled as I looked at him. Nothing, I'm just amazed with him because he's the only one here and I found out he's experiencing that? It's a good thing he didn't think of committing suicide or doing anything bad to himself.

"You're so strong, and I'm proud of you ... because you've been able to handle everything so far, that you can do it alone." I said and because of that he looked at me.

I'm sure Mrs. proud. Ferrer was with him because you thought that, his son was very brave and even though it was difficult, he didn't give up. It's just that Xander isn't that brave to tell his mommy everything, I feel like he's scared of something.

"That's good to hear, I've never heard of that from anyone."

"Which?" I asked him in astonishment.

"They're proud of me."

"Well, from now on you'll always hear that from me. But you know what, even if someone didn't say that they're proud of you then say it on your own, you can just say to yourself that I am so proud of you self, stay strong and I love you. "

I was then even though Daren was there who always supported and said he was proud of me, I also never forgot to tell myself that. Until now, I am proud of myself because I am able to try to work and raise Elizabeth on her own.

"You know sometimes when you know no one loves you, love yourself. Even if everyone leaves you but yourself will never leave you, that's why they say love yourself first before the others because how can you love You don't love other people or you don't know how to love yourself. "

It just stared at me as if thinking or having something to worry about.

"I love myself, I'm proud of myself! That's what I said." I promised and touched him.

"I love myself, I'm proud of myself. That's like what I said." I winced.

That's right, he imitated even the last thing I said he also imitated. We should just relax Elyse, just relax maybe he just made a mistake or maybe he just made a mistake really okay.

"That's not included! I love myself and I'm just proud of myself!"

'Kalma sabi eh.' I promise in my mind.

"I love myself, I'm proud of myself." You don't seem to have much life it says.

"What about energy? We just finished eating. That's how it is after you hug yourself." I'm glad I'm staring at him now.

"Look at how cute you are." At once he quickly rubbed his cheek.

"Do you like those cute boys?"

"H-Huh?"

"W-What kind of question is that ..."

"I'm just kidding pfft," I just laughed at what he said. By the way, I was just kidding, I was suddenly nervous, I don't know if I was suddenly nervous.

He got up and put it aside for us to eat, I was a little surprised when he suddenly spoke.

"Right! I almost forgot." He looked at me.

"Your medicine." When he reminds.

"A-Ah, of course." I was scratching my head. He cares so much for me now, I'll be really sad when tomorrow someone else suddenly has that habit. Maybe tomorrow my fever will get better, I'm not as hot as yesterday.

He gave me the medicine and I was about to get some water but it reached me with a glass of water. I looked at him before holding the glass, I looked back and forth at him and the glass because it still wouldn't let go.

"B-Why?" I asked him nervously.

"Consume this water, okay?" He only said that before releasing it.

"That's it?" None of my own question.

He turned to me. "Are you saying something?"

"W-Nothing!" I was just shaken and took your medicine.

"I'll wash that, I can do it." I said and he pushed me away from him, even with that weak push I almost fell because I lost my balance.

Made me scratch my head. "I'll just help you." I tried again to approach him but he blocked my hand.

"Your stubbornness, you know that?" I shook my head in response.

"You're the one who always washes and cooks too ... maybe Mrs. Ferrer will send me away when she finds out." I promised and bit my own nail.

"He won't know that I won't tell you, then there's no CCTV here or maybe a guard." It spoke while just continuing to wash the plate.

I suddenly remembered the woman I saw outside and my dream that seemed real.

"Are you a bad person Xander?" I immediately turned to it. "Joke ... I mean, have you done anything bad to people?"

I thought he would get angry or annoyed with my question but instead he laughed. "A lot, do you want me to go through it one by one?"

"What about your assistants?"

My guess.

"Who else, but what I did to them isn't that bad, okay. I just beat them up and just, I just made ways to get them out of my house. I didn't hurt them physically, emotionally? Yeah, maybe I did hurt them emotionally. But physically? Not even once, do you think I'm the type of person who hurts? "

I stared at its face. Xander doesn't seem to be the type of person who really hurts. "Hmm, I don't think so."

"Btw, last night I saw a woman outside when I looked out the window. She even threw stones at me. It's a good thing I wasn't hit and not Elizabeth."

"Is that paper wrapped in stone?"

How did he know? Did the woman also stone him or did he order that woman?

"Yeah, said leave seems to be you."

"She's crazy, just don't mind that woman and also ... stay away from her." Maybe he knows that? I thought he was the only one living here in this place?

"Does anyone else live here in this area?" I asked in astonishment.

"No, I didn't give any permission to let them build any house or even visit this place. If I saw stranger walking in my backyard or on the road, I will make sure he really can't go back to their house." Its language.

"Wait, your mom own this land? This place?" He was probably still in high school when he moved here to this area and his mommy's money will definitely be used to build his house now.

"It's my property Elyse. To me and not to my mommy or anyone else." I was even more confused by what it said just now.

Huh? Eh, he didn't buy that land? As in all? I mean, it's too much and he's the only one who owns it? He doesn't have a job, where did he get the money to buy it? I'm getting to know him little by little but I'm even more confused, I have a lot of questions that I feel he won't answer yet so I'll just wait for that right day.

"U-Uhm, okay ..." That's all I could say because I'm going to prolong what I'm going to say, maybe I can't stand it and I'll ask him how he became the owner of this place.

"Of course, the woman I saw outside. Who is she?" I change the topic.

I noticed it was done washing so it sat on the chair first.

"She's one of my sleepers. Oh! Don't think that I'm the reason why she went crazy or maybe I'm the one who did it."

It's a good thing you said that's really the first thing I can think of why.

"She's a drug addict, one of the reason why I find ways to let her leave my house. She even stole money from me and threatened me, like what the f**k does she thinks that I'm scared of her?" When he said no, he was shaken.

"So, are you going to say or think that what I did to her was wrong?"

"Uhm, yeah... it's still not good. You can just say to her and let her understand that you don't want her--"

"You're not in my position Elyse. I know, if you were me, you're gonna do what I did that time. There are people who really don't know how to understand, they still have to hurt that person just to be conscious or to stay away. you. "

What is that? Hugot? Grabe sya.

"Yes, maybe you did the right thing. Why didn't your mommy even know the woman's background? I feel like Mrs. Ferrer is just in a hurry to accept your future assistants, as long as there are apply after a little interview, it's okay. "

"Like before, you didn't give a resume, did you?" It was obvious on his face that he seemed to be laughing.

"How did you know?" I asked and he suddenly slapped his own forehead.

"Tell me, did you forget first?"

"That's okay, it's really like that when you get older you can really forget." Why should I be the one saying that to him! Tsk, your style!

I suddenly thought. "I'm really telling a story..." I said softly while cringing.

"Eww," I raised my eyebrows when I heard what he said.

"What the eww are you there for?"

"Are you really going to cringe? And in front of me really?" Suddenly I stopped moaning because of the question.