Chapter 47

"I'm sorry Xander, I didn't mean to."

"I'm sorry I won't repeat that."

I came closer to him, hugged him and patted his back softly.

I felt him lean his head on my shoulder. I just sat down even though the floor was a bit wet, I'm sitting in front of him now.

A few minutes later he suddenly spoke. "So... s-sorry, did I over react?" He looked at me and I saw that there were no more tears in his eyes but I still noticed his cheek which was still a bit wet.

"No, your reason is valid Xander. What I did was really wrong and no one cares if you over react about that, if that's what you feel that time then let it be." I speak.

"No one cares?"

"I mean, if there are people here then they witnessed this. You shouldn't care if they think you're overreacting because it's your feelings, not mine or theirs."

I touched both of his cheeks and turned his face to me.

"If this is going to happen again, tell me ... okay? I'll try to understand you no matter what. I'm just here for you Xander, you can tell me everything ... everything." When I repeat.

He nodded and hugged me.

"By the way, who's Xavier again?" I asked him again. He suddenly slipped out of my embrace and took a deep breath.

"My stepbrother, I'm only a few seconds older."

I thought Mrs.'s only child. Ferrer is Xander but he's not. There is no mention of Mrs. Ferrer about his other son, I only heard the name Xavier from Xander.

Why would Mrs. Ferrer sakin eh, we're not that close, are we? Are you okay Elyse? It's not like you were hired as an assistant here, they should tell you their family history.

"Where is he ...?" I ask to say.

In his words before and now, it was as if his twin was gone. I don't want to think in advance about it just in case I misunderstood and it's also wrong in my mind right now.

"He's dead. He died when we're just 14 years old. And even if Mommy doesn't tell me I know I'm the one she blames for Xavier's death."

He said and I didn't even see any emotion in his eyes and after he said no, his voice was a bit cold.

But wait, why does Mrs. blame him? Ferrer on the death of his brother? Does he have anything to do with--

I was immediately shaken by what I was thinking now. There you are again Elyse! How many times has Xander been thought of badly but what? You're just kidding in the end because it's all wrong. He's not a bad person eh!

"Xavier is actually my first friend ever, he's not just my twin brother but he is also my bestfriend."

At this time I felt a slight trace of sadness in his voice. Maybe it's too much pain, maybe Xander was too hurt because he didn't just lose his brother, he was his first friend and not just a friend because he was a close friend. It's really painful to be left by your husband or jowa, it's even more so that there's really nothing left, that you've left for life.

"I'm sorry to hear that, I don't know." That's why you asked him because you didn't know. If you only knew Elyse, you wouldn't have asked, would you? Your brain is also hayst!

"It's okay,"

"Your mom loves you Xander. There's no mother who doesn't love her child ... I mean, that's what I believe."

"Hopefully, hopefully Elyse." He smiled bitterly at me.

"Aren't you mad at me anymore?" He shook his head so I smiled but I immediately lost my smile when he asked.

"Do you still love him?"

"H-Ha?" I was a little confused by his question.

"Your ex-husband, do you still love him?" He asked again. I scratched my shoulder as I couldn't take my eyes off him.

I don’t know why I was suddenly nervous. "W-Why did you ask?"

"Nothing, just asking." He made a serious promise.

Just a few seconds later, I couldn't even open my mouth and answer his question to me. I'm still confused, I mean, I don't know what to answer to his question.

"Is it difficult to answer my question to you?"

"I ... I still love him," I said softly. I don't know if he heard what I said. I wish he had heard so that I wouldn't have to repeat that but at the same time I wish he hadn't heard that case ... I don't know, I'm ashamed.

"What? I didn't hear you."

I can only say that I do not want to repeat what I said. Annoying! I'm disgusted with myself, why am I like this!

"I said I still love him."

Don't you know if what I see now is correct, it looks like the expression on his face is different again.

"I mean, I still love him a little. If I say that I don't love him anymore, it's like I'm lying to myself and you, it's not that easy to forget or take away this love left for him." I explain.

It's true, no matter what I say to myself that I don't love him anymore, even if I deny everything to others or to myself, there is still a part of me that says I'm lying.

"You want to forget him? Do you want to forget him and your remaining love for him?" This is a serious question for me.

"Yes, of course I want to forget him." Tango-tangong I said.

"Do you want my help?" I blinked as I looked at him.

"Do you want me to help you?" It says again.

"How?" I wondered.

I was shocked to feel one of his hands holding my hand and one of his hands was already holding my cheek.

In just a few seconds, his face gradually came closer to mine, so I was even more nervous. I didn’t know what to do, the only thing on my mind was to close my eyes and wait for its lip to touch my lip.

"Elyse? Hey?" I felt something suddenly shake my shoulder.

"I'm asking you, do you want my help?"

I stared a little as I stared at him. I looked around before he looked again.

"H-Ha? Won't you kiss me first--"

I didn't finish what I was going to say and just kept my mouth shut.

He raised his eyebrow suddenly while also staring at me. "What? What are you talking about?"

"A-Ah, nothing!" I shook my head and averted my eyes from him.

Embarrassing! You're embarrassing Elyse! I can't look him in the eye anymore, I just want to put my head in the toilet bowl in great shame. Did you really think of that all of a sudden? What even went through your mind!

"Are you daydreaming?" He asked, which made me even more nervous. Did he notice? Please don't ...

"I don't know about you!" I'm still not looking at him but even so I know his face is still serious while looking at me. I just feel like he's looking at me, I don't want to look at him to make sure.

"Wait, you just mentioned early on 'kiss me first'?" I glanced at him.

"So, you mean me ..." He pointed at himself. "... you're daydreaming that I am about to kiss you? Am I right?"

I swallowed one after another.

"H-No, m-wrong k-you!" I stammered.

Bwesit! You're too obvious Elyse!

I'm really crazy, my god I want to run out so he can't see my face now.

"The redness of your face now." He said shake and laughed softly. I feel like I blushed even more because of his laughter ... sh*t, why is he really handsome especially when I'm this close to him.

I bit my lip hard until I tasted my own blood.

I heard its loud sigh. "I can feel it,"

"A-What? Feel what?" What feel? Feelings? I'm really crazy, what's going on in my mind.

"That you're nervous, I can even hear your heartbeat Elyse. What's wrong?"

There was a hint of concern in her voice.

How can I answer his question, even I don't know what the problem is. Este oo nga pala! He's the problem, he's the reason why I'm nervous like this!

"Let's eat." I almost stuttered again.

"Your food is already cold outside because we've been together for too long." I'm trying to change the topic.

"Right, Elizabeth might be hungry for that." He said and stood up to me first. He quickly came out of the bathroom, I thought he would leave me here alone but he came back and held out his hand to me.

He helped me stand up and we went out of the bathroom.

"I'll be the one to clean up the mess, I'll be the one to spread it so I'll be the one to clean up." Suddenly he promised.

"Huh? But I'm not the--"

I stopped because when Xander opened the door, my son was outside, standing and looking at us both in amazement.

"Mommy? Daddy Xander?"

I was slapped on my forehead because it was as if my son always saw us together here in the room, as well as the one we were in the hotel and he saw us coming out of the bathroom at the same time. He might really think that Xander and I have something in common!

"Mommy boy is what I want," she said smiling at me wondering.

He doesn't want a woman, does he? Unless my child is lesbian or bisexual. But I'm confused because it seems like he means something else.

"What sweetie?"

"The brother I want is a man."

He said and held Xander and I's hand.

I almost dropped my jaw at what he said. Xander and I looked at each other, he laughed for a few seconds while I was stunned for a moment because of what my son was saying.

"You can also have twins and a boy heheh."

"Elizabeth, we don't even have a relationship with your mommy." Xander promised and picked up the child.

"Don't you like Mommy?"

Yes! Doesn't he like me? Gagu what am I doing? Why am I curious ?!

"My Mommy is beautiful and she's sexy, my Mommy's boobs are also big--" I was suddenly ashamed of what she was saying to Xander.

At that age to speak like that? For him to sell me, he just didn't want to say just 150 to take first, it's so cheap. This daughter of mine should be a sales lady, when she really manages to get Xander, I'm already with her.

"I know ..."

"You know Mommy is sexy and she's big? How did you know Daddy Xander--" I covered her mouth because otherwise maybe something else would come out of her mouth.

For a few seconds Elizabeth giggled with laughter as the two of us moved our eyes.

He removed my hand that covered his mouth. "You're a thing Mommy heheh,"

"S-Let's eat, it's just hungry sweetie. Come on you two!" I was the first to walk so they wouldn't notice my face starting to blush.

"She's blushing Daddy Xander." I heard it say to Daddy-- I mean, Xander!

"Sweetie that's enough gibberish!"

_

While eating, I noticed my son's pure smile as he looked at me and Xander. Here he is sitting next to me, Xander is in front of us.

Doesn't his jaw hurt from the grin? He's been around for a while, he still looks very excited until now. What is this boy thinking?

"Elizabeth ..." We said together so I was a little surprised. I didn't expect the two of us to be really together.

"Eat it," I frowned as I looked at him. Maybe he's just imitating me or maybe we're really together.

"Yieeeee! They meant to be!" He teased me and poked my hand with his little index finger.

"Elizabeth we already told you that we're just friends. Your mom is not my type, okay."