Chapter 62

We both sat on the bench first. His head was leaning on my shoulder while we were holding hands... I was silent and so was he.

A few seconds later, I felt him squeeze my hand. I didn't realize that I was smiling because of what he was doing and my heart was starting to beat faster again.

I miss this, this feeling. When I saw that his tears were falling earlier, it was as if the anger I was feeling disappeared, it was replaced by pain because he was hurting...so I was hurting too.

I looked at the time and realized that I had been here for two hours, I told my son that I was fast. I was going to speak but my tongue is retreating, I want to stay here next to him...but I have to go home.

"I miss you, Elyse." It suddenly promised that I stopped.

"What??"

"I miss both of you, Elyse. Do you miss me as well?" He sat properly and looked me in the eye.

I bit my lip before nodding. What's the use if I lie to him...it's true that I miss him. I'm mad at him, that's true, but at the same time I miss him and want to see him despite what he did, but he told me everything now.

He did not intend to crash the jeep and even more so he did not plan to get drunk, drive drunk. What sane person wants to crash into another car and hurt other people...the person who thinks like that must be crazy or maybe a demon without a heart.

"Hmm?" I shook my head and looked Xander in the eye.

"I... actually, I miss you too."

A smile appeared on his lips.

"Am I forgiven?"

He suddenly asked.

"I don't need a quick answer. I understand if you're still angry at me, I deserve it."

You don't deserve it Xander, you deserve love not hate.

"Aren't you and Elizabeth going back home?" He was obviously hoping that I would answer yes, that I would agree to come back.

"I'm sorry Xander, but Elizabeth has only been with her father for a few weeks--" I was cut off when he let go of my hand and stared at my face.

"What??"

"Are you living with Daren?"

I quickly shook my head in response.

"You're not! I don't know how to tell you everything that happened..."

"So, you mean you're not seeing him anymore?? Then..."

I seemed to know what he was going to ask next so I started him to speak. "Why isn't Daren Elizabeth's real dad---"

"What?? How? And why? I mean, how did that happen?" He was obviously confused.

"Wait, Elizabeth said that you cheated...but I don't believe that, and now it looks like you don't know anything or you found out just now that..."

"Yeah, I don't know how to explain all of this. All I can say is that Daren is not her real father, and it's my fault. I think, it's my fault why we're doing this now. Honestly, I'm still confused now but maybe it's okay, his real dad came voluntarily and really introduced himself to my son." I said with a sigh.

"Who's the guy?"

"His name is Mike, he is Daren's best friend in high school." I answered his question.

"Mike...?" I notice the raising of his eyebrows, I can read on his face as if that name is familiar to him.

"Yep. Uhm, wait, don't think that I was a two timer back then, that I took them both at the same time. You might think differently, Daren and Mike are still best friends. My daughter's father is the best friend of the one I married, won't you think I'm a different two timer or maybe I'm a dirty woman."

If I tell other people everything, I'm sure they won't believe me or maybe they'll say that I pretended not to remember anything just to avoid my mistake before.

"Don't worry, I will never think of you like that." It promised me.

"Well, you can tell everything to me when you're ready. I'm just here for you, Elyse." He looked me in the eye and held my hand again.

"Thank you Xander..." I bit my bottom lip before continuing what I was going to say to him. "...and I'm sorry, for leaving you."

"No, I'm sorry for what happened to your parents before."

"That's o-okay, past is past I guess? Future is more important now." I said. It's not that I don't care about the death of their father and mother, but I can see that Xander didn't really mean it, like I said no one wants to hurt others, if they do, they don't really have a heart or something. he is satan's son.

"Xander I have to go back, Elizabeth is waiting for me.".

"Hmm? When are you going to see me again? When can I talk to you again, also Elizabeth??"

"U-Uhm, I can't answer that yet...maybe the next day?"

Question if answer. I'm not sure when, what am I going to do, I don't have a job?

"O-Okay, just take your time."

I stood up and looked at his hand that was still holding mine.

"I need to go now, Xander." I promise. He looked at our holding hands, he slowly let it go.

I was about to turn away from him but I was stopped by his question.

"Wait, do...do you like that guy?"

"Who??" I want to ask. Who is he referring to?

"Mike, do you like him?"

"No!" Hard to say. I just shook my head at my sudden reaction.

"I mean, I will never like him. He's a good guy, he is sweet, caring and loving but that's all... I never once thought of liking him."

"But you two are living in the same roof--"

"Are you jealous?"

I asked him directly.

"Nevermind, just forget that question--"

"Yes, I am jealous! You used to live with me but now you're living with this guy named Mike!" I was a little surprised at what he said. I'm staring at him now, I can't read what he's thinking because I see mixed emotions in his eyes.

"W-What??" is he serious He really answered my question and is he jealous? Why did I think to ask him if he was jealous?!

"I said, I'm jealous! And I never felt this feeling before! I feel annoyed, when you mentioned that name."

"I said... I said I didn't want anything from him, didn't I--" I didn't finish what I was going to say when he suddenly spoke.

"Maybe not now, but in the next few days? What if you start liking him? You didn't like me at first, did you? But because we lived together in the same house, we'll always be together--"

"It doesn't mean that because I'm in the same house with him, I'll fall in love with him. And it's different Xander, especially since he's my ex-husband's friend, I don't want to break up with my husband's friend before."

"But you got pregnant by him? Is that what doesn't hurt a friend--" I quickly slapped him because of what he said.

He held his cheek and looked at me a little surprised.

"What do you want to say? That I liked what happened? You weren't there that day, you don't know anything so you have no right to judge me. Yes something happened between the two of us and yes I do like you but that doesn't mean I can't talk to you first like that! I didn't give you the right to judge me without even knowing the truth!"

I promise.

"You're like that too, aren't you? I mean, most people in this world are like that. Judging right away, sending their feelings and emotions before knowing the truth. You and I are the same Elyse--" I was about to slap her. he again but he held my hand.

"I didn't give any permission as well. You don't have any right to slap my face Elyse, you can talk to me but never ever slap me again. Use your mouth to talk not your hand, should I teach you how to use your mouth, hmm??" I stepped back a little when he stepped closer to me.

"W-What--" I couldn't finish what I was going to say when he suddenly pulled my waist closer to him and grabbed me with a kiss.

"Hmm...Xander there are people!" That's what I wanted to say to him but I couldn't say it properly because his lips were pressed against mine.

I tried to push him away from me but he only tightened his grip on my waist.

I didn't give up anymore because no matter what I pushed him, he didn't budge. I just closed my eyes and in

I heard him trying to open the car door and he was having trouble opening it so I helped him to open it faster.

We went inside and continued what we were doing.

With one kiss, I forgot my anger and annoyance with him, I just ignored what he told me because I also know that he didn't really intend to tell me that.

"Xander?" I lay facing him and he is hugging me tightly now.

"Hmm?"

Both of us are naked, but it's a good thing that the car is tented so people passing by won't see us.

"It's almost 2 pm..."

"Done?" He asked again.

"We haven't eaten yet--"

"It's over, right? You want round 4?"

He interrupted what I was saying.

"As for Xander, you bastards! Then aren't you concerned about our position?" I left and sat properly next to him, we are now in the backseat and the inside of the car is a mess because of the two of us.

He put his palm suddenly on my thigh so I immediately removed it.

"Get dressed."

I said and started reaching for my blanket one by one.

"Oh? Are you looking around there??" I asked because I noticed that he had been staring at me for a while.

"You look attractive with that." He said with a smile while staring at me that I was only wearing panties and a bra.

I don't know whether to be happy or annoyed? I don't know how I should feel about what he said. "Naughty!" That's all I told him.

"Wait, I'm really confused. I thought you were asexual?" I asked wonderingly. He's asexual, right? So... why? Why did he say that he loves me, that he likes me and then something happened between the two of us. Not just once but how many times and now-just now he said I'm attractive in what I'm wearing?

"No, I'm not." He answered and started to get dressed.

"Huh?" When I asked him about being asexual, he admitted to me himself that he is asexual, even his mother knows that.

"I just don't get easily attracted to girls but then here you are...bumping my car then suddenly you become my maid...and now I never thought I would be in love with you!"

I never thought I would be in love with you!

I never thought I would be in love with you!

It's like music that I hear over and over in my ears and never get tired of listening to it.

"How...how did you say you're in love with me??"

"I don't know...I just found myself staring at you smiling. Found myself comfortable when I'm with you, I want to be the real me but I can't, I'm afraid of what you will going to say if suddenly I change. I used to be cold and ruthless somehow...that was just my way so you could just leave me alone, like what they do but you stay, tell me that you're here for me but then just one day you leave me without any word, without me knowing the reason why." His language.

So, it's been a while then? It turns out that he likes me too without my knowledge? When is it okay? what day is it

"Did you fall for me when we first met? Like l-love at first sight?"

"I don't believe in love at first sight, and you look familiar to me so, I can't say that it's love at first sight..."

What? I look familiar to him?

"Uhm, well...you kinda look familiar too honestly." I confess.

"Really?"

"Do you think we already saw each other before?" He asked and I nodded slowly.

"Maybe? Maybe we just don't remember." I said.

"Yeah, I guess, you're right."

We both finished getting dressed and I said goodbye to him.

When I arrived outside Mike's house, I was about to knock on the door but suddenly my cell phone vibrated so I stopped and looked at it.

From Xander: I miss you already

I just smiled when I read that, he even sent a sticker with a frown so I smiled even more. I kept imagining that it was him and how cute he looked when it happened.

I was about to reply to his text but...

"Hey? Have you been there before?"

I almost jumped in shock because of that voice. The door is now open and Mike is standing there looking at me.

"No, I just arrived." I promised him.

"Ohhh, where did you go??" He asked. I smiled at him before answering his question.