Fifty-three

Jordan

Something hot was on my hand. I tried to bring my hand closer to myself but something was holding it. It wasn't like a super hot thing. Not like it was burning my hand, but it was warm enough to warm my body up. I started to stir around because of the heat. I started to get really hot now. I tried to kick off the blankets, but they were tucked in really good.

I open my eyes and looked down to my hand.

Jaxon.

I felt my lips go up in a small smile and I trailed up his arm to his face. He was staring at me but he looked like he was staring out in space. I pushed myself to sit up but I was hurting. It hurt on my stomach but it didn't really bother me. It felt like I was sore or something like that.

"Jaxon?" He blinked a couple of times then he gave me a small smile. I felt my smile grow bigger and he started to do little circles on my hand.

"Hey." He whispered

"Hey." I whispered back.

"H-how are you feeling?" I was shocked that his voice crack but I just smiled and said, "I feel horrible. My stomach hurts and some what my head."

His face fell and I saw something flash through his eyes. "Yeah...the doctors told me."

"Um. What happen after I feel asleep?"

He face went to confusion as he sat up on the chair he was on,"what do you mean?"

"I mean, when I was talking to Landon. I was asking what happen to his face and that's all I remember. Did I pass out?"

He looks away from my glaze and pulls back his hand. I was about to reach out towards him but I stopped myself.

"No. No you didn't pass out. You actually had a seizure and you barely woke up right now." He said while he stood up and walked towards the window in here.

I froze. I stared at his black shirt he was wearing. I blinked a couple of times trying to understand what he had just said. "What? No, I passed out in the middle of my sentence with Landon."

"No Jordan. You had a seizure and I wasn't there." He said not turning around.

I continue to stare at his back, then I pulled the covers off and pushed my legs to the side of the bed. "I know you weren't there, because I asked where you were. But then I got distracted with his busted face. But that's not the point. Are you sure I had....that?"

"Yes Jordan! And I wasn't fûckin there!" He said while he turned around and stomped towards the door locking it. I jumped in surprise at how quickly he raised his voice. One minute he was nice and calm, then next he's dark and he's letting his demons out controlling his body. "I wasn't there! Landon was! Not me!" He punched the door and he turned towards me.

"Why the hell are you mad?! I just woke from my supposedly seizure and you start yelling?! What the hell Jaxon?!" I said while I got up and glared at him.

"I'm mad because I wasn't there when you woke up! You woke up with him! Not me! Him! I'm mad because I didn't get to tell you that you are okay now. No one would hurt you... especially me." He whispered the last part while he looked down and losing his anger in seconds.

"What do you mean?" I said while I started to get confused. I was about to walk towards him but he looked up with a blank face on.

"I'm the reason you have ever been hurt. I'm the reason my fûcked up cousin took you and raped you with his men. I'm the reason you have that fûckin scar on your leg! I'm the reason you have memories of them touching you in places that no man should touch unless asked to! I'm the reason you are traumatized of opening up to any man, even me! I'm the reason you're out of collage and have no apartment!"

"Why the hell are you saying all this Jaxon!?" I looked at him while he stared at me with no emotion in his eyes.

"This is the last time you'll see me. The last time we will ever talk. The last time I would protect you. They are gone. There is no more of them. When they don't have a boss, they leave. They can live a different life then the fûck up one me and Landon live in. I'm leaving you Jordan."

It felt like the whole world came crashing down on me and I felt my heart start to split.

"W-what?"

He clenched his jaw, "I'm leaving. I won't be there for you to cry on. I won't be there. When you turn around, I won't be there smiling at you. When you are asleep, I won't be watching over you. This is the last time I would ever talk to you. I hope you have a better life, because all I have done was cause destruction in it."

"No...no Jaxon....you can't." I whispered while I started to walk towards him. He took a step back while I took one forward.

"Bye Jordan."

"Jaxon....no."

He turned around and went to unlock the door, so I started to walk fast towards him but I was yanked back by all the wires in my hand and wrist. "Jaxon!"

He ignored me and unlocked the door and open it. He took a step out while I was pulling the wires in my hand out.

He can't leave me.

He just can't.

"Jaxon!" I yelled while I tugged on the wires but somewhere stuck in there.

"Goodbye Jordan." he whispered again but I heard the emotion in his voice.

He was out the door but I stopped him by three words.

"I love you!"

He stopped right in his tracks and froze.

"I love you Jaxon! You cant leave me! You just can't! I can't see myself with out you no more!" Tears rimmed my eyes and while I was fighting with these freakin wires.

"Jaxon please!"

"I don't love you Jordan." He whispered.

That's it.

My heart broke and shattered everywhere. I stopped what I was doing and stared at his back.

"I never have."

And with that he walked out closing the door behind him.

"J-Jaxon." I whispered while the tears feel down and I slowly fell down on my knees. It felt like the world was turning against me and couldn't seem to understand why.

Why me?

What have I done?

Nothing, I done nothing.

All I got was bad things.

Now I've gotten the worst of all.

A broken heart.