No, seriously. Why Hard Tack?
“Get this, get this. And then he was like ‘Ooohhh’… Yeah. You know what I mean?”
“Uhm, sure…”
"See! I knew you'd get it."
Cig Ames, the protagonist of this world, was casually chatting away with his childhood friend, Yuria Pendant. It was just the usual childish and senseless chatter they would always exchange with each other.
But on this day in particular…
‘Annoying… Since when did Cig become this annoying?’
Yuria could only awkwardly smile as they walked to the Academy together.
Cig on the other hand…
‘Yes! It’s working! I just need to keep this up and eventually I’ll conquer all the heroines and reach the true ending. After countless hours of replaying the same stupid loop of wooing these women over and over again, I found out that a true ending exists after you conquer all five of them without getting cucked once! So far, so good.’
He was a man with a plan.
Yuria visibly shone when she saw a familiar tall figure in the distance.
“A-Ah, Cig. I just remembered I promised Ms. Phaedro that I would help her prepare for Home Economics. See you later~”
“Oh, alright. Cya– Wait, isn’t Ms. Phaedro’s class the other way?”
But she was already out of hearing range.
Cig noted the way her voice sounded a bit strange at the end there. And also that creepy smile that appeared instantly.
‘So far, so good… right?’
~~~~
“Yo, Jack. How you doin’? You look like ya slept like a baby.”
One of Jack’s friends, who was also an NTR victim, approached me. He had a relatively short build and short blonde hair. I think his name was… Aston Brian. I didn’t exactly have any fun memories of him aside from the fact he eventually gets expelled from the academy. While I could just let him escape from these evil nympho heroines… I can’t let such a promising young man live without an education!
That’s right.
This young man had excellent talent in swordsmanship, but due to some unfortunate circumstances, he was unable to spend much time nurturing that talent. If only those evil heroines didn’t distract him, he would be one of the best swordsmen in the Empire.
“I-I went here like you told me to! Now, will you please let the previous incident slide? Pay for it with my body?! I can’t… But he’s too muscular and manly.. I can’t resist!”
Oh look, It’s unfortunate circumstances.
For some reason Yuria followed us into the gym while I was putting down chairs. Looking over at Brian, I could see that he was as uncomfortable as me.
‘That’s good. This means he can still be saved.’
Instead of wasting words with Yuria, I signalled to Aston something in Bro-code.
“Look there’s a bird!”
“Huh? Where?”
Whoosh!
I had no choice but to use the ultimate distraction technique passed down through multiple generations. With that miniscule amount of time to think, Aston and I ran away with all of our might. Oddly enough, the bro-code that the previous Jack and Aston made came in handy. They made a multitude of different hand signs and signals to properly convey information with little to no preparation.
This allowed us some respite since we were already at the other side of the school.
“Wutdahell wassat? Jack, why is some crazy woman following you? Gasp! Don’t tell me you got a girl already? Wasn’t it always supposed to be bros before hoes..? Oh, the betrayal!’
“Calm the ‘ell down. She’s not my “girl”.”
“Right? I can’t imagine you getting a girl in the first place… I got worried for no reason.”
Maybe I should let this guy get expelled?
No…! We must stay focused, brothers. We must stay focused! I’d love to tell him that I had a girlfriend back in University, but that would mean telling him that I’m from another world.
“Ah, I didn’t mean it in an offensive way. I’m just… glad that wasn’t the case”
“Yeah, yeah. Let’s just get to homeroom. We’ve put up enough chairs.”
“Sure..!” Aston's wide smile gradually turned into a serious expression. Jack, however, couldn’t see it since he was in the front. Who knows what Brian was really thinking of?
‘Another girl…’
~~~~
The school day passed without any major issues. But homeroom was the only class that Aston and I shared. If I want to make sure he graduates without getting expelled due to unfortunate circumstances, I have to work hard!
“Then it’s settled. During next week’s duel, if I win, you have to stop hanging out with Jack!”
I’m sure I heard that wrong.
Must be another Jack.
“I hope you keep your promise, Aston!”
Must be another Aston Brian.
“Oi, only Jack is allowed to call me Aston. Why wait? Maybe I should just wipe the floor with your jaw today?”
What a coincidence. Surely there’s no way that the Protagonist and Aston are interacting with each other right now.
Aston exits from the classroom where I heard all of that nonsense.
“Oh hey, Jack. So I got this duel comin’ up so we won’t be able to peep in the girls bathroom, draw graffiti in the art department, and walk around the campus at night butt-booty naked again.”
What the hell are you talkin’ about?
The other students that were leaving the class also heard it all.
“I am no associate of this man.” For some reason, I couldn’t feel the cavity that usually interfered with my speech.
“Pfft. Anyway, I’ve got someone to meet, so I’ll see you later.”
“Wait, is it a girl?”
A mischievous smile appeared on his face, and he began contemplating an answer.
“Hmn~... Yeah, so what? Spring must’ve come early for me.”
This is bad… It’s proceeding faster than I thought.
“Any chance that you don’t meet with her?”
“Nope~”
Damned. I think I know who it is, but I can’t really do much about it without ruining my other plans.
“Eh, you’re giving up already?”
“Yup, you said it yerself.”
Of course I’m not. There’s always other ways to prevent you from getting expelled. I’ll just talk to the protagonist… The uh… What’s his name again?
~~~
“Did you hear? They say the transfer student initiated a duel with one of our classmates.”
“That guy? I think his name was… Cig Ames. Seriously, who does he think he is? These Class B underclassmen are really underestimating us.”
“Hah! Seeing his face smeared onto the ground would be a fun way to start the day.”
Numerous such voices were echoing throughout the school. In all honesty, I couldn’t care less if Cig won or not. In fact, I’m in favor of removing that deviant that’s always sticking around Jack… Something about him feels off.
“We’ll see who gets the last laugh on the day of the duel. Actually, it doesn’t matter if they don’t believe in me. As long as you guys believe in me, I’ll have nothing more to wish for!”
“Class A has some really strong students though, you’d do well not to let your guard down.”
“For once, I agree with Lev. Don’t underestimate them.”
Two other women were also seated down with us. The top of the magic department, Pae Prex, and the top of the swordsman department, Lev Yatan. At first, I deemed them homewreckers since I’m Cig’s childhood friend, but now it feels like they’re kindred spirits. I can’t quite explain why though.
“Lev-tan, could you pass the lemonade?”
“With pleasure.”
Lev acted with over the top tact and passed the wooden jug of freshly squeezed lemonade to him. Cig then began eating his tasteless hardtack with the lemonade.
“Mmm.”
I can’t tell if he’s living a frugal and simplistic life to impress us or he genuinely just lives like those Eurokian monks.
Carefully, I hold a piece of the homemade hard tack and bring it to my mouth.
Crack…
~~~
“...”
“Any ideas as to why she just left?”
Lev doesn’t seem to know, so neither do I.
Cig pondered over Yuria’s sudden exit, then went back to eating hard tack.
“Sigh. You’ll probably never understand, Cig. It’s just that time of the month.”
Honestly, these guys are hopeless. Clearly, I, the most mature of the three, have to help Yuria out.
But strangely enough, I checked all over the academy and couldn’t find her.
“Yuriaaa? Where are you?”
And no one came.
The last place that I hadn’t already checked was the FCS classroom. Surely enough, she was there.
“Ah, Yur-”
“W-Woah… It looks so dark and juicy.”
“Make sure to swallow it all in one go. How’s that? Slips right down your throat, doesn’t it?”
“Ghuuk– Ack.. It’s so salty…!”
“Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it.”
“Uuuoh… I can’t take any more… I’m already so full…”
“Oi, don’t waste any of it. Savor my… juices… family.”
Pae had already begun evacuating the scene. The rest of their conversation was cut out halfway due to the distance she had run. Though she hadn’t seen it firsthand..
Those… those guys…! How indecent! I never knew Yuria was like that… Did he really mean it? Those obscene sounds… Something about making a family… Juices… I’ll confront Jack about it myself!
[Pae Prex, age 17. About as educated as an 8th grader (in terms of sex ed).]
~~~~
FCS Classroom [5 minutes ago]
Yuria was walking through the halls after escaping Cig and his evil hardtack diet when she suddenly smelled something sweet in the air. The scent took her to the FCS classroom.
There, Jack was hard at work in the kitchen.
As if in a trance, Yuria entered the room and sat down at the table.
“Oh, yer here. Saves me the trouble of looking for ya. Here, eat this. We'll talk later.”
“Eek! Jack was looking for me?? He must be trying to pin me down and– ugh..”
Even Yuria couldn’t keep her facade up. They say the fastest way to someone’s heart is the stomach after all.
When she laid her eyes on the plate in front of her, she saw the epitome of gourmet cooking. Although in reality, it was just beef cubes cooked with soy sauce. Maybe it was due to Cig’s tasteless, short tack that Jack’s meat looked so delicious at that moment.
She excitedly picked up her spoon and tried to scoop up a single cube, but… the moment the spoon made contact with the cube, it melted.
‘How…How is his meat so tender?!?!’
Yuria looked at her spoon one last time before digging in.
“W-Woah… It looks so dark and juicy.”
“Make sure to swallow it in one go. How’s that? Slips right down your throat, doesn’t it?” Jack’s unc instincts kicked in and he began acting the part. He had cooked the only homemade food he always made for his little cousins when he came to visit them in the countryside.
“Ghuuk– Ack.. It’s so salty…!” But Yuria wasn’t accustomed to the amount of sodium in the sauce. That’s fine. Everyone will come to love soy sauce.
“Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it.” Jack was simply speaking from experience.
When he first tasted it, it felt his taste buds getting molested with rock salt. After trial and error with multiple test subjects (coworkers), he found out that no matter how much or how little soy sauce he added, they would always say it was too salty.
“Uuuoh… I can’t take any more… I’m already so full…” Yuria had lost herself in salt purgatory, but couldn’t stop eating it.
“Oi, don’t waste any of it. Savor my homemade secret juices. It’s a special recipe passed down in my family.”
Whoosh!. An odd noise came from outside the door.
Hmm? Was there someone there? Actually, that doesn't matter right now.
“Yuria, answer me.”
“Y-Yesh.. ah..”
“Why do you respond like that? No– more like, why does your body force you to respond like that?”
"Bro, WE can't peek in the girls bathroom later. Yeah, Us. Me and my brochacho. The TWO of us."
