Chapter 4

“Impossible, it should be impossible, but the result is clear… It’s absurd, isn’t it?”

I can only stare at the piece of paper with a dumbfounded expression.

…Huh?

Oh right, the situation seems a bit hard to follow, so let’s rewind a bit back in time.

After I was done washing up, I was going to wait for my sister and then wake up mom and dad, but they were already up… at an inconvenient time too.

I wonder how I looked when I walked out of the bathroom while wearing my sister’s clothes with a towel hung over my neck. I’m sure my parents can give me an answer if I ask them, because that’s what they saw.

And to no one’s surprise, they were shocked and wanted an explanation. Luckily, my sister was also there, which made explaining way easier.

Had she not been there… Ugh, I don’t want to imagine.

What’s wrong with me explaining to mom and dad? Well, a lot of problems actually.

I think I said it before, haven’t I? That I was somewhat close with my sister. That’s why talking to her wasn’t that bad.

But talking to mom and dad… That’s an entirely different story.

Talking to mom always just… ends on a bittersweet note. I know that she meant well and her guilt is genuine but… I just can’t accept it.

Because she wasn’t guilty to begin with. It was all my fault, so was there really anything to apologize for? All it did was make me feel bad, so I never felt good even after comforting her.

As for talking to dad… Well, I can’t even call it that… The times where we were together could be counted on one hand, and even during those times, we rarely talked.

It was mostly just basic daily greetings like “You doing well?” or “How was the place?”

In short, it was really awkward…

But yeah, that’s besides the point. At first, they didn’t believe it, but for some reason, they easily believed her after some brief convincing.

“Ah, I see… So that girl… she really is Jia Lin?”

“Yes, as unbelievable as it is, she is big bro—I mean… big sister.”

“Jia Lin… do you feel okay?”

“Yes, nothing’s wrong… mom.”

“That’s good. Even if you change, mom and dad will still support you, okay? Don’t be disheartened.”

I wasn’t even disheartened or depressed to begin with, mom… Ah wait, maybe I lied about not being depressed… well it wasn’t caused by this so technically it’s not a lie? Either way, I shouldn’t say this out loud.

“Mhm…”

…Damn this useless mouth of mine, I just made the situation worse.

“Yes, yes! So about big sister’s condition, we plan on going to the hospital to get a doctor’s diagnosis. Let’s get ready and depart now?”

Luckily, my sister changed the topic and got rid of the awkward atmosphere.

“Yes, that’s a good idea, dad will not go to work today, so we can all go.”

“You sure, dad? Weren’t you a bit busy these days?”

“It’s fine, it’s fine. My boss and co-workers will understand.”

Wow, where have I heard that line before…

“We will go and get ready now. Jia… Lin, you should go rest a bit. You say nothing feels wrong but we can’t be sure.”

“Okay, dad.”

I internally sighed. Thankfully it was over somewhat smoothly thanks to my sister, but talking to my parents still… is a bit too much for me to handle.

“Thanks, Jia Xia…”

“Don’t mention it, you’re probably still stunned about the situation as well. What dad said wasn’t wrong either… Go rest on the sofa while dad and mom prepare.”

“Yeah, take it easy too… Don’t want to burden my cool and smart little sister too much, haha.”

“Hah… If you can still joke around like that, please save that vitality for the hospital trip.”

“Alright, alright. I’ll be going now.”

***

The health examination was anything but simple, which couldn’t be helped, I probably was the first of my case. I mean, where else could you see a person whose gender changed overnight?

If there were others, it would’ve spread like wildfire on the media.

Actually, there might be others, but they were either silenced or somehow avoided attention?

Nah, too far of a stretch… probably.

This is too much for me to handle, so time to add another useless unsolved thought to my planet sized (figuratively) jumble of unsolved useless thoughts.

Wow, the more that I think about it, the less that I make sense.

Not that it matters…

If I made sense, I wouldn’t be a hopeless idiot to begin with.

…

Yeah I should stop.

As for what I’m doing now… Right, I’ve been sitting here on this unreasonably cold chair while waiting for the result.

Speaking of which, why are the stupid waiting room chairs made of metal?

There’s probably some elaborate reason to it, but I can’t get it at all. Well, it’s natural that an idiot like me can’t understand, but it’s still uncomfortable as hell.

A hospital is always cold, so the metal absorbs that coldness which directly translates to me (the victim) also being cold due to me making contact with the metal surface.

While I was wearing something that fully covered my legs, the coldness of the chair was still somehow seeping through and torturing me with this cold.

I hate it…

So cold…

“Sis… need a jacket?”

“A-Ah? Yeah, that would be n-nice… Xia…”

“Here.”

“T-Thanks, that feels a lot better.”

Yet again, Jia Xia comes to my rescue… How does she always know when I am in trouble? Am I just that pathetic of an older sibling? Wow…

Anyway, I should stop before it turns into another overly convoluted mess of thoughts, especially about my sister.

Yes, as I was about to say, I was in the waiting room with my family waiting for the nurse to call us to the doctor’s office.

Though we aren’t really talking now because there wasn’t much to talk about at all.

Thankfully, a modern invention of society is built to combat this awkwardness.

If you haven’t guessed it yet, it’s the smartphone.

What, it’s not invented for that reason? Well, it sure is very good at solving that though.

Many great inventions over the years are created by accident, so let’s say that this is on the same scale, okay?

Either way, thanks to phones, we were just kept busy enough to not be burdened by the otherwise awkward moment of sitting together and doing nothing.

Oh, I probably should elaborate, my sister, mom and dad are using their phones right now, and as for me… I’m just contemplating. Why else would I be thinking so much right now?

I don’t really need a phone to keep myself entertained, really. I can just use my thoughts as a way to pass the time.

Overthinking is really annoying, especially when it’s paired with frequent short term memory loss, but it sure works well enough to keep my pea-sized brain satisfied and not ruin my mood.

Not that there’s much ‘mood’ to ruin though.

I’m confident that I can do nothing for a long time and still not be bored.

…

Yeah, not exactly something I can be proud of…

Fortunately, we were called to the doctor’s office not long after.

“Hello, I’m Doctor Lee and… you’re the patient, yes? Miss… Jia Lin, is it alright if I call you that?”

Sitting at the office chair in front of us was Doctor Lee, someone I couldn’t possibly not know.

After all, she was the one who diagnosed me with brain cancer.

“I’m fine with it, doctor.”

“Haha.. That’s good, it must be hard to suddenly have your gender swapped, but you’re quite composed.”

Actually, it wasn’t really that hard at all… But I probably shouldn’t say that.

“It was unexpected, but not something to be too worried about.”

“Ah, I see…?”

Was that answer too unsatisfactory? For some reason, everyone’s expression darkened when I said that. I guess my idiotic response was just as bad as my thoughts…

“Well, either way, Jia Lin’s parents and sister, you should all listen to this too. Jia Lin, about your health…”

I’m listening…?

“Well, the only thing I can say is that it’s impossible.”

“Huh?”

“What do you mean by ‘impossible’, doctor?” asked Jia Xia, who had the same question as me.

“Exactly as what I meant, miss. Logically, this should’ve been impossible. It makes no sense but it somehow happened. Of course, this isn’t bad news at all. If anything, it’s a miracle.”

The doctor showed us the reports, which was beyond shocking.

“Impossible, it should be impossible, but the result is clear… It’s absurd, isn’t it?”

I can only stare at the piece of paper with a dumbfounded expression.

“The large brain tumor that was threatening your life, your previously lost kidney, and several other medical conditions… all healed. As if there was nothing wrong to begin with.”

I can see why the doctor said that, even I couldn’t believe it myself. It was so absurd.

“D-Doctor, this means our Jia Lin…?”

“She won’t die. It’s unknown how this happened, but the condition still saved your daughter from what would’ve been her death.”

“T-Thank you, doctor!”

Mom did not hesitate to express her gratitude to Doctor Lee, it seems like this piece of news was a dream come true for her.

Well, it quite literally was a dream-like situation. Imagine being turned into a girl and suddenly finding out that all your prior illnesses are gone…

Anyone would jump in joy at that development.

Yes, anyone…

‘Damn it…’

Anyone with a sane mind, that is.

I… I just can’t even think straight right now… Well, not that I ever had a straight thought to begin with, but… I guess I didn’t explain it well enough.

I was too shocked to even think.

I was denied again.

Denied from death.

‘Honestly, it’s not even surprising anymore…’

It wasn’t my first time facing a near-death experience after all.

Hah… At the end of the day, I need to stop crying and get my act together.

My family is happy, so I must be happy too.

Because if I am happy, they will be happy too.

I am a fool so I must be happy.

If I’m happy… If I’m happy…

…

Please just anyone… end this miserable life of mine.

◈

After the doctor’s diagnosis, big bro… sister didn’t need any treatment so she could return to society once again.

Although there were some extra tests at the end, they were just minor tests to see if there was anything else wrong with her body and thankfully, there was nothing.

If anything, she was too healthy, as if my sister had drunk the legendary cure-all ‘elixir’ that only existed in games.

…Honestly, it is hard to follow the development right now. Of course, I’m very happy about it, but it was still too… outlandish to accept, I guess.

Surely this wasn’t a dream. Our parents were there too, so surely it wasn’t one.

Yeah, it was a happy occurrence and I couldn’t help but smile along.

I took one glance at my sister, wanting to hug her, but…

It was the same as before.

I was too shocked to see her expression when we were meeting the doctor, but I was sure she was also making that same expression.

As if someone tried to lift up both sides of a corpse’s mouth to make it smile. A creepy feeling that I couldn’t ignore.

My sis… no, brother, didn’t change despite the good news.

‘This is more serious than I thought…’

I didn’t need to think for long before steeling my resolve. It might be a delusion, but I sincerely pray to the heavens that I’m not too late.

I’ll try my best to be near big sister as much as I can…

Because if I don’t…

‘I might regret it for the rest of my life.’

Not long after, dad drove us away from the hospital. As I slowly grew bored with the awkward car trip, mom’s voice cut through the silence.

“Jia Lin, doctor Lee said you have no issues, right? But you still have to adjust to your new changes… Don’t forget that we are family, alright? Mom and dad will support you no matter what decision you make, so…”

Mom, please don’t speak like that. It’s obviously going to ruin the mood…

“Mom, don’t forget me too, I will support big sister as much as I can.”

“A-Ah, yes! Jia Xia, you too must support your big sister, that’s good, good. Go help her adjust to living as a girl, okay? Mom thinks she will just get in the way.”

“Yes, mom, I plan to do that.”

Good, now that should divert mom away from talking about gloomy stuff.

“Thank you, mom… Xia… but I think I just want to rest for today, is that okay?”

“Y-Yes! Haha… sorry Jia Lin, it must be hard to accept the changes too. Don’t worry, mom fully understands, so take your time!”

“Mhm…”

Hey, big sis… I was trying to help you, you know…? How come you’re now the one trying to ruin the mood?! Ugh… I wonder if she even knows that…

Huh? Now that I think about it, I still don’t know if her gender change affected her brain or something.

If it was a positive change, it would be nice, but if it was a negative one…

…

Hah… I guess the only way to know is to find out for myself. I’ll give her an intelligence test or something similar later…

I wonder what our family is going to be like from now on.

If possible, I wish for all of us to be happy. But knowing reality…