Chapter 19

“I… I did, sometimes.” His eyes are flicking back and forth between mine. “Sometimes I thought you two might… I don’t know, have a mutual crush? But Paige is so deep in the closet and you’re just so… tactile with everyone.” He pauses for a long moment and I settle my head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry I didn’t realize you were so close.” “Well, it’s not like we’re dating or anything.” And I don’t think Paige is that deep in the closet.“Right. How would that even work?”“Yeah…” I say, more wistfully than I should. I take a sip of my tea before bringing us back on task. His parents are already up – Elizabeth baking in the kitchen, Henry gone to pick up the extended family from the airport – and we don’t have much more time. “It does beg the question, though.”“What question?” Asher asks distractedly. I lean back to quirk an eyebrow at him. “Oh! Oh… Yeah, um… I guess it’s fine as long as no one sees you?” I grimace internally. Sometimes, Asher can be so dense. I am not asking for his permission. I would have fought him on it if he’d said anything else, but since we agree, I don’t see a point in arguing. “I’m sure we can manage to be discreet for another holiday.”For a moment, we are both silent, enjoying the sun rising ever higher to a humane hour. This was my biggest question, and I rack my brain for what else we should be anticipating.“Ok, so I guess the other elephant in the room is Gabriela.” Asher finally says.“What about her?” I’m surprised there would be anything to talk about. Whatever happens with her, I doubt it can jeopardize our cover.“Things didn’t exactly end well between us.”“So what? You think she’s still hung up on you?”

“I mean… maybe? Why else would she join us for the holidays?”I’m about to point out she was Paige’s friend too when Elizabeth enters the sunroom with a tray, asking for taste testers.Asher’s family always gather in droves for a week at Christmas, herding in different stragglers every time, sharing their unlimited food and their limited space. I’m still unsure if it is a display of wealth or genuine hospitality, but I know that Asher and Paige truly enjoy this family togetherness. And well, it’s the main reason I always bunk with Paige.

The first day always feels the most hectic – people arriving with a week’s worth of stuff, gifts, food, and very importantly, alcohol, crowding the main areas until they can be sorted in the various guest rooms, pull-out couches, and occasional outdoor accommodations. This year, it seems I have earned enough family-member points to help with directing traffic after Elizabeth has greeted the guests when Paige is leading others to their appointed sleeping arrangements.Why Asher is not required to participate is an entire question, one he has managed to deflect for the past three years of this.When I hear his mother call for him, I learn two things. One, Gabriela is here. And two, Elizabeth thinks her a better match for her son. Turning to them, I have to grant her that, yes, Gabriela is gorgeous and fashionable and probably perfect in every other way. She just looks so nice and poised and articulate. As soon as she sees Paige, it’s also very clear she is far from interested in Asher, that self-centered man. Her face lights up at her sight and I can’t tell if it’s platonic or not, but she evidently accepted this invitation for reasons that make this whole charade very unnecessary.Paige also seems pleased to see her. She grabs my hand to drag me the few meters to her as she calls out, “Gabi!”I see Gabriela’s eyes dart down to our hands, and I let go with a last squeeze. Paige doesn’t realize anyway as she throws her arm around Gabriela. I avert my eyes to glare at Asher. He makes puppy eyes at me and shrugs an apologetic smile. This is far from enough but now is not the time. Paige has let go from the hug and is turning to me with the happiest of smiles.“Ash, this is Gabi. We were best friends almost from kindergarten up until high school graduation.” She turns to Gabriela. “And this is Katherine, my new best friend since you’ve abandoned me.”Gabriela laughs and pulls me into a quick hug, just as Elizabeth adds, “And Asher’s new girlfriend, of course.” I stiffen into the hug and pull away with a tense smile towards both of them. I take Asher’s hand but I can’t bring myself to lace our fingers as Gabriela’s brows knit. Her eyes dart to Elizabeth, and she takes a stab at dispelling the sudden strain – or maybe it’s just me. She smiles at me and says warmly, “It’s great to finally meet you, I’ve heard a lot about you.” She turns to Paige with a smirk. “Which is how I know I’m still your best friend.”I’m a little disappointed that Paige has told me almost nothing about Gabriela, but at the same time, learning that she’s discussed me with her best friend sends little flutters of both excitement and anxiety down to my stomach.I put my free hand on her forearm with a genuine smile now. “And I hope to learn a lot more about you, since neither of those two–” I gesture at Paige and Asher, “–has told me anything.”Asher shrugs sheepishly again, and Paige bites her lip as she looks at her feet. I wonder if I made everything awkward again, but Elizabeth cuts off my thought process with a little chuckle. “Of course, Asher wouldn’t bring up his ex-girlfriend to you, Katherine.” My brain catches onto her meaning when I see her indulgent smirk towards me.This time, I have to grip Asher’s hand to keep smiling. I know she means well, and I know we have not been able to get to know each other – and we probably never will – but I cannot but bristle at this assumption. Even if I were genuinely dating Asher, I would never want him to shut off parts of his past just because they’d mattered to him in the way I would be now.Thankfully, Henry comes in with a fresh batch of relatives to welcome and accommodate, and we all disperse to our tasks.

That night, with a house full to the brim, most of the day spent cooking, and after a dinner just as hectic as the rest of the day, I am drained – both from Asher waking me up at the crack of dawn and from being requisitioned to help. I barely have the strength to keep my eyes open under the warmth of the shower, and I collapse on my side of the bed, thankful we are not sharing with anyone else.I realize I’d started drifting off when I feel the bed dip. I don’t even remember hearing the shower or the bathroom door. Paige’s hand pushes some hair back from my face. “You’re tired,” she whispers. I feel her breath close to my face buried in the pillow. I belatedly hum in response. This pulls me out of slumber long enough to remember I wanted to mention my discussion with her brother.I crack open my one eye not smushed in the pillow to see her soft smile. She also looks tired. I want to say as much, but opening my mouth requires too much effort. Instead, I bring my hand up to her cheek, smoothing the shadow forming under her eye with my thumb. She leans into it and I feel a surge of affection and sympathy. I put a chaste kiss on her lips and fold my arms around her.