Chapter 20

Gabriela, it turns out, is not only nice, but genuinely kind. She warmly encourages the children with their gift-making and baking experiments. She is an amazing cook and can charm any of the men into helping out until the mothers and aunts catch them doing woman work. And she still manages to ensure she and I can have a private moment to talk.I have yet to get more details from either Paige or Asher, so I can’t say I trust her attempt at a relaxed demeanor. She has found me on the porch steps, surreptitiously supervising the snowball fight between the younger cousins, as a pretense to escape the chaos for a bit. No sane adult would want to freeze their butt off that way.She sits close to me and hands me a hot chocolate. “Mexican style,” she says. “A specialty of my country.”“You’re not Mexican,” I reply as I wrap my cold hands around the mug.“Don’t tell Elizabeth,” she chuckles and bumps my shoulder with hers. “I’m surprised you know even that about me.”“I put two and two together when I remembered Asher mentioned he had a Brazilian ex-girlfriend.”I realize this might not explain anything if she doesn’t know he’s gay. “I met him at orientation,” I try again. Not much better but I refrain from wincing.“I’m not exactly Brazilian.” The sidestep makes me wonder if she knows but I grasp it before I can overthink. “Born and bred here?”“Mhmm,” she hums as she swallows her mouthful. I follow suit and taste my own drink. It’s barely sweetened and just spicy enough to add a lasting warmth. I hum in appreciation, I love hot chocolate but I always find the US version too sweet.“Good, eh?” She asks with a touch of pride. I finally look at her properly, and she’s smiling at me in a way that only makes me want to answer in kind. She turns back to watching the kids and her smile softens even more, if that’s possible.“So you’ve never been to Brazil, then?”“I have,” she says, and I can tell there’s more coming so I don’t ask. It takes a moment, before she adds, “I’ve lived there for the past four years.”Her tone makes me pause. It sounds amazing to me, but she’s more pensive than excited. I don’t know what else to say when she doesn’t continue, so I finally voice it. “That sounds cool.

She only hums in reply, more distant than assenting. Not knowing how to bring her back to the conversation, I let her be and I sip my hot chocolate, letting it warm my chest from the inside.After about a third of my mug, she turns back to me, her legs bumping and then resting against mine.“So, what did Asher tell you about us?”“Not much,” I start and then pause. I’m not sure how to bring up his mistaken assertions. “He said your breakup wasn’t exactly…” I grope for a mild term, “–amicable.” She snorts. “That’s a mild way to put it.” She takes a moment. “He stopped all communication with me the second I moved to Brazil – not the safest place for an 18 year-old girl, might I add.Didn’t even acknowledge my text about arriving safely. He never even told me he wanted to break up.”What. The. Fuck. I open my mouth and narrow my eyes, but I’m too furious to say anything suited for young ears.“You can ask Paige. She’ll confirm it.”“No, I– I believe you. That asshole!” I drop my voice for the last part.She snorts again. “It’s alright, I let it go a long time ago.”“You know what he told me?” I have to take a second to lower my voice, toning down my anger and disbelief. “He thought you were staying here to get him back or something.”She bursts out laughing at that, and it makes me smile, draining the tension out of my shoulders. If she is that insouciant about it, then I can let go of my anger on her behalf. It, of course, doesn’t mean I will let him hear the end of it but I don’t have to drag her into it. Her laughter attracts the attention of some of the kids and they start running towards us with cries of “Cousin Gabi” and I know I need to disappear before being covered in snow and sticky hands.

As soon as I re-enter the house, I am volunteered to decorate. Not that the house is not already all decked in fairy lights and green-and-red socks. The indoor realistic plastic tree – custom-made and the huge outside one were, of course, also ready before any guests arrived, including Asher and I.But today is the day where we arrange all the flowers, bought and gifted, around the house. I have no idea what I’m doing but this is apparently one of those womanly skills that Asher picked up from god-knows-where and he covertly instructs me in the art. Until he is shooed away by his mother. After that, I cope as best as I can with what he told me, but I can tell Elizabeth’s patience with me is wearing thin. Every time I finish one arrangement, her mouth disappears a little more under the strain of keeping from frowning

“Really, Katherine,” she finally sighs, “you were very helpful in the kitchen, but I don’t think you should insist here.”“I think you’re right, Elizabeth.” I say formally to mask any glee that might seep into my voice.“Perhaps I should go ensure that all the gifts are properly wrapped and ready.”“Yes, that’s a lovely idea.” She replies as she is already turning away from this conversation and working to fix my mistakes. I walk out before she realizes I need more information about who is usually late with their present preparation, and head up to hide in Paige’s bedroom. I’m reading a book from Paige’s bookshelf when she finds me in her window seat, angled to take in the last of the sun on this side of the house.“Do your parents know what The Color Purple is about?” I ask without looking up.“They were very scandalized that my teacher didn’t remove it from the curriculum.”“Is it the only reason you’ve kept it?”“That I had to study it?” I look up when she stops there. Then, she smirks. “As far as my parents know.”I smile, half restraining it, and look back down to the book. I hear her rummaging in her drawers.“You know,” I remark, “this is the only hint of… extracurricular interests I’ve ever seen in this room.”“It can’t be extracurricular if it’s taught in class.”I look up without answering, brow quirked. She’s holding clean clothes and I realize there are all kinds of stains and smears on her black sweater and jeans. I smile. “Did you bake with Hannah again?”She looks down at herself, following my gaze. “What can I say, the little monster knows how to make me cave.” I put the book down, open-face on the cushion, and get up. “You love it,” I say as I approach her, “not least because your mother thinks it’s undignified.” I wipe some flour from her brow.“And you know what that means?” She pitches her voice low. “We could shower together.” I consider her for a moment, then look at her alarm clock, and start stripping quickly. She grins and takes her sweater and t-shirt off in one motion, just as I say, “That would certainly save both time and water.” hums a chuckle, and heads for the bathroom door, dropping her jeans. “Anything for the planet. I promptly follow, gathering my own clothes and towel on the way. The water is already steaming in the cold room as I lock the door. When I turn around, Paige is very close, goosebumps covering her arms and chest. I start tracing them with the pad of my fingers.“You’re still wearing pants,” she murmurs over the noise of the water hitting the tiles. When she looks down to unbutton them, I see she has something sticky in her hair. “You have honey in your hair,” I laugh a little self-consciously. I don’t know why I’m nervous now.She finally looks up to see my strained smile. “You okay?”“Did you have a crush on Gabriela?” I blurt and I realize this anxiety is more about the situation with Asher than anything else.She takes a step back, her eyes searching mine. “Probably.” I think that will be it, when she adds,“I didn’t recognize it until Asher broke her heart, though.” Now it’s my turn to search her gaze. I don’t see anything like regret or caution, so I decide to go with honesty over humor. “Your brother is such an ass.”She chuckles and pulls me to the shower. “He’s your best friend.” I kiss her, a quick press of lips, and push her under the spray. “I’m only using him to get to his gorgeous sister.”She only replies with a kiss, then two, and then we are entangled with legs entwined, hands remapping skin, and tongues reacquainting. We are careful not to leave marks anywhere too visible or suspicious but I can’t resist licking the water snaking down her neck. Neither of us pushes much further though, as we relearn each other after a year. I end up kneeling in the tub, Paige sitting with her back to me so I can wash her hair. I’m trying hard not to think too much about her low humming bordering on moans as I massage her scalp. Which is why I startle a little when she speaks. “And to answer your question, Gabriela kept all my ‘extracurricular interests’ at her place until she left.”I shake out of my trance to wonder out loud, “So, did she–does she know?” I keep massaging the lather in her hair as we speak.“About me, yeah. I don’t know about Asher,” she shrugs. I hum and open the water to rinse the soap from her hair, pondering that Gabriela must have taken the measure of it all from a simple handhold.