Chapter 288 The Damned Madman

"Peter, today happens to be Christmas. Look at me in this festive red outfit. Do you think I look like that handsome Santa Claus who has successfully lost weight?

Oh~ forget about those two damn elks! Don’t you know about those terrible animal protection organizations? Now when delivering Christmas gifts, Santa Claus is pulling the elks along. "

"Peter, Peter, today is the birthday of God's son. I came into your world today. Do you think I am the most perfect Christmas gift from God to you?

Look at this damn spiritually deficient shit world of yours, he really needs Uncle Deadpool to bring more fun here.

Another question, do you have any Ginpa to attend today? If so, we can leave later.

No? Damn it, Peter, you're having a rough time.

Fortunately, I have prepared a silver handkerchief for you in our world, and Colossus will personally perform a striptease for you."

"Peter, come with me!

Brother Wade will take good care of your cow. What are you still clinging to in this shitty world, a little Christmas girl?" Deadpool said in a feminine and pretentious manner, with his orchid fingers raised:

"If you want, I can be a loli~"

"Peter, why are you so quiet? Are you quiet?"

……

Charlotte turned around, resisted the urge to chop off Deadpool's head, and silently dialed Dr. Arthur's number.

On this wonderful holiday, after a short wait, Arthur's happy voice came from the other end of the phone.

"Hi, Mr. Parker, I have to say that male inflatable dolls are not very good Christmas gifts. Also, are you calling to make an appointment for a follow-up visit?"

"Doctor Arthur, that's for your wife. Don't you think your wife will be lonely if she stays in the hospital all the time?

The reason I'm calling is that I met a very sick psychopath who I think is a perfect match for a lunatic asylum."

Behind Charlotte, Deadpool was humming a Christmas carol softly and looking around for the trace of the lunatic that Charlotte mentioned.

"You don't understand the grief of a middle-aged man. I would rather work overtime and stay up late facing a group of mentally ill people than stay at home."

Covering his lower back, Dr. Arthur said:

"I thank you very much on my own behalf, but I can only give this Christmas gift to the kitchen helper on your behalf.

As for the lunatics? This is a mental hospital, not a lunatic asylum."

When Arthur mentioned work, his expression immediately became much more serious. He glanced at his colleagues who were celebrating at his home, opened the door and walked to the balcony. Looking at the beautiful snow scene downstairs, he seemed to see gold coins falling into his pocket. He asked seriously:

"Mad man? Can you tell me what kind of mad man he is?"

Charlotte paused, turned around and looked at Deadpool, with a complicated expression:

"This lunatic...it's hard to evaluate...By the way, do you know Deadpool Wade Winston Wilson?"

Arthur frowned and asked with a dark face:

"You mean Captain Delicious Underpants who made a bet with Captain America, Steve Rogers?"

Arthur stood up straight and said righteously:

"I'm sorry, but my hospital can't accommodate him. I'm afraid he might lead other patients astray."

Charlotte: “.”

"No, no, no, it's not this Wade, it's another Wade." Charlotte explained quickly.

"Oh?"

"He's much crazier."

beep...

The call was hung up immediately. Listening to the dead tone on the phone, Charlotte sighed deeply.

I cursed in my heart: Damn Wade in women's clothing!

After thinking about it, Charlotte did not give up hope and sent another text message to Dr. Arthur.

“Dr. Arthur, Deadpool Wade Winston Wilson has a legendary cancer body and immortality. I think he is very suitable for this promising position of cadaver teacher in medical school.

The most amazing thing is not that his dissected body can be restored, but that he can stand up and teach the students knowledge soberly while being dissected.

Even if you catch him for organ trafficking, it would be a great business with no cost. You can even promote Wade the Living Dead, eating him will prolong your life.

The profits will belong to me, and Wade, I will give you half."

Unfortunately, the message sent did not receive a reply from Dr. Arthur. Charlotte confirmed that Arthur must be dissatisfied with the share of the profits.

Gritting his teeth, Charlotte sent another message:

"Okay, Deadpool and Wade are all yours, I only want half of the profits. Remember, eating Deadpool's kidneys can strengthen your virility!"

"Fuck! That bastard Arthur actually blocked my number!" Holding the phone, Charlotte's face turned black with anger.

"He doesn't even want to make money. He's a complete psychopath! Damn it, this is a great opportunity to make a fortune. Arthur deserves to be poor forever."

"Peter~" Humming a Christmas song, Deadpool poked his head out from behind Charlotte, put his hands on Charlotte's shoulders, and said temptingly:

"Don't you want to watch the complete Tom and Jerry series from another world?

And Teletubbies, Garden Babies, SpongeBob SquarePants…they’re all completely new and different versions.”

Charlotte raised her eyebrows, her heart moved, and her expression showed a slight struggle.

You know what, he was actually quite curious.

“I also collected a lot of different versions of yellow sheets from various universes.

I was very surprised. I climbed over the wall and found that there was a yellow movie with myself as the protagonist, and the heroine was actually...

You were curious, right? You were looking forward to it! I know you were looking forward to it. You must want to see it, right?

Okay, Peter, no more jokes.

Let's get down to business first. Do you know the Space-Time Anomaly Management Bureau? Do you know the sacred timeline?"

Charlotte nodded coolly.

Deadpool smacked his thigh, "Damn it, I thought this setting would last for three chapters! Damn it!

Well~ to put it simply, Spider-Man, the anchor of our world, is dead, and my world is decaying and disappearing.

Countless cute cats and dogs will die.

So... I want to find a new Spider-Man, a new anchor for my world, and today I finally found him, he is you - Peter Parker!

Of course, I know what you are thinking, family, friends, relatives, lovers, blah blah, blah blah.

In fact, you don’t need to think about all these. You can also treat saving my world as a job, wake up every morning with my Deadpool’s moaning service, and then go to another world with me, perform your job as Spider-Man, and then go home after get off work. It sounds very beautiful and simple, and it makes people excited, right?

Of course, if you are willing to settle down with me, I would be happy to do that too."

"Get lost, girl! I don't want to be with you, whether it's a fight or sex.

Why don't you go find Garfield Spider, a sad man who has lost everything? Why don't you put on blonde hair and take this opportunity to capture his heart and make him fall hopelessly in love with you?

“Oh~ I’m definitely a huge fan of Garfield, and I’m a huge fan of every Spider-Man.

The only problem is that Garfield loves to laugh too much, so I can't stand seeing him with a sad face. I love him, but I don't necessarily have to have him.

And you, you are completely different to me ~Peter.

Our meeting was simply destined, my big head and my little head were pounding wildly!

Fuck! At that moment I knew that my world couldn't be without you."

"Fuck!" Charlotte gritted her teeth and blocked Deadpool's mouth with a spider silk.

"Shut up, Wade, I don't want you in my world!

Why don't you just go find someone else? Why don't you catch a spider and make your own Spider-Man?

Or go find Death and trade that damn Spider-Man back."

"Nonono~Peter~This matter is not as simple as you think. Can I go to your house and talk to you in detail?

By the way, where should I sleep tonight?

I have to mention that I have been coveting your bed for a long time."

Deadpool said meaningfully:

"A long, long time."