32. Saying the truth?

Elena.

Tears rolled down my eyes on hearing the detailed story that Camila had just told to me and no, it was not just about the fact that it was a teary story, it was more of the fact that it had all been done by no one else other than my father, my pack. I could not control the tears that rolled down my eyes as i felt guilt wash over me over the fact that i had taken solace under a pack that my original pack had done so much damage to.

It was just too much for me to take. I did not deserve any of the kindness and goodness that this pack have shown me in the past month, I do not deserve to have them treat me so well after being deceived by me.

No one deserves that. Not Mr. Deangelo, not the pack as a whole and definitely not the kids who I have even started to bond with, not knowing that I belonged to the enemy’s pack, the same pack that had taken their mother, sister and grandmother from them.

Seeing that I was probably crying way too much than expected, Camila was surprised, “Is everything okay?” she asked.

I didn’t know if I should laugh or fall down and cry. No. Of course everything was not okay.

Instead, I said, “Yes,” my voice small.

Camila looked at me suspiciously but didn’t push. Giving me a small smile, “it is okay, Elena. These things are of the past now and crying about it is not going to solve any issue.”

She then placed a tray of food before me. “Here, eat. You have not had a thing today.”

The tray was brimming with toast, scrambled eggs, bacon, fried diced potatoes, and a small bowl of mixed fruits.

She watched me with a soft expression as if knowing that my tears had something else other than the story. “One of us, that's what you are now, that is family, that is for life, that is our forever, that is our promise. Welcome to ride or die.” She said.

My nose started to tingle and I felt hot tears at the back of my eyes. I sniffed and looked down at the plate of food. Nobody had ever even cared when I ate. Sure, I had maids back at home and with Salvatore and I always had food. But no one ever cared if I ate or not. I simply didn’t exist. I lived as a shadow.

My heart constricted and I held the fork with a shaky hand. As I took the first bite, a tear fell down my cheek. Quickly swiping it away with my other hand, I took a second bite. Then a third. With each bite, it felt like my heart would burst at any moment.

I knew that I did not deserve any of this, that I should not even be getting this treatment from them.

When Camila gave me a gentle pat on the hand, I looked up with red-rimmed eyes. She gave me a sad smile and then nodded, as if telling me that everything would be okay. Camila never ask any questions. She just accepted me.

After eating, I decided to go up to my room as everywhere was silent. As I walked past the alpha’s room, I could not help but stop at the sound that I heard coming from his room and so I ended up peeping, I was shocked at what I saw.

Mr. Deangelo was in there crying as if his brain was being shredded from the inside. Emotional pain flowed out of his every pore. He grabbed onto a chair so that his violent shaking would not cause him to fall and from his eyes came a thicker flow of tears than I ever thought I could ever see anyone cry.

Especially the beast of the werewolf world, the Alpha of Ferrari pack for that matter. Never in my life did I ever think that he ever even cried, much more witness this breaking down by him. One that I was sure he was doing in his room because he did not want anyone seeing him, because being strong is the fort that is expected from him at all time.

My body could not help but heave at the thought of him on the floor, writhing in pain.

It was more than crying, it was the kind of desolate sobbing that comes from a person drained of all hope.

I walked past the room and into mine, not wanting to be caught watching such a private moment, not again. But I could not help the tears and thinking that engulfed me for the next hours. Knowing that I came from the family, the man that caused the alpha so much pain, I knew I could not keep taking advantage of them by staying like this.

I thought about saying the truth but then, my life was already in jeopardy. Admitting I was the daughter of Bruno and the Wife of Salvatore wouldn’t help me. Saying that I come from the Amato pack at all was crazy enough. The truth was sure to put me in more danger. I was an Amato and their worst enemy, no matter how hard I tried to convince them that I was not really with them, they would never believe me.

At the same time, I could not keep staying here, I just couldn’t, guilt was eating me up too much to pretend like this was fine, because it is so not fine.

So I got off my bed and onto my feet as I began to drag myself to Mr. Deangelo’s door, I knocked and when he asked who it was, I told him, then he asked me to come in.

He was still in the same suit as before, slowly bringing my eyes up to his face, I let out a gasp when I met his fierce glare. Instead of the previous look of pain, tears and despair that I had witnessed on him few hours ago, his eyes glowed with such ferocity that it took my breath away.

His dark presence loomed over me, dread filling me as my spine prickled with unease. The tiny hairs on my arms and the back of my neck stood up straight and my skin itched.

I whimpered as I stared into his cold eyes, it was almost as if what I had witnessed hours ago was simply a part of my dreams or imaginations.

Or perhaps, it was just my own imagination and fear of my mind being read and him getting to know everything about me.

I had seen him angry before, but this time, he looked deadly. His blue eyes crackled with fury, his face red, and his jaw twitched. The Alpha of Ferrari pack that was standing before me was the same ruthless one that everyone knew him to be, and I could see the killer he truly was— the monster I had always heard about.

And there I was, trapped in the lair of the monster everyone feared.

I gasped, then gulped hard, and continued to stare at him, my eyes wide. I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t. I was just so speechless.

“Are you going to speak or not, Elena? Or are we here for some eye contact competition of some sort?”

I stepped back, but the room felt smaller, more dangerous and suddenly congested with this darkened soul of a man. His eyes searched mine, consuming me, stripping me down. Somehow, I felt like he could see my fear, could see that maybe I wasn’t that strong.

“I... I do not think that I can keep up with being a Nanny for the kids sir, I think that they need someone better sir so... I... I want to resign from being the nanny and leave sir, with your per... permission of course.” I finally let out as I looked away.

When I return my focus to the alpha, his gaze intensified into that soulless look.

“Okay.” He simply replied, no questions asked, almost like he just could not care less about whatever reason I had to leave.

“Uh... o... okay sir. I will leave tomorrow morning after dropping the kids at school sir.” I added.

He did not say anything else so I took that as my cue to leave his room.

As soon as I was in my room, I let out the tears as I felt tired, weak, sleepy, and numb. All I wanted to do was sleep and never wake up.

Quickly shedding my clothes, I got into the shower. The warm water cascaded around me and I felt the warmth cover my cold body. My teeth chattered as I washed myself. Silent tears streamed down my cheeks. I sank on the shower floor and cried while letting the warm water fall over my weak body.

I thought of the new friends I had finally made in this pack. I thought of Camila, of Mia, of sweet little Diego and then of Mr. Deangelo himself. I thought of our shared kisses and moments, moments that were never understandable and defined. Moments that was enough to get me to be both jittery and scared to death.

My heart hammered so hard that I could feel it in my throat. My nails dug into my palms and the slight pain brought me comfort.

Pain meant I was still alive, still breathing.

But for how long?