68. Squash whatever feelings or romance.

Elena.

My feeling of being abandoned intensified as I went about my days in a not so exciting nor alive manner. It soon started to feel like repeated days as each day went by. Early in the morning, I woke up extra early enough so I could go for my morning run which I had taken as a daily ritual now, it just started to make me feel so alive and free like never before and it was making me feel like my strength was also being doubled.

When I return, it was always time for the kids to get ready for school whenever it was week days and that was always what I did. Once I succeed in accompany them to school with the guys because alpha had made sure that now that he was away, we went out with enough security, I have chats with Mrs. Cali while trying so hard to start up a conversation with Camila who claimed that she had accepted my apology, yet still gives me cold shoulder that had not gone unnoticed by everyone.

Everyday, the alpha made sure that he called and I always found myself eavesdropping while he talked to the kids whilst feeling like an outsider, yet unable to stop myself from the bad act. The way he never asked of me nor even cared to ask to speak to me was starting to tell a toll on me and I had to keep cautioning myself that we were never anything to one another and so, I needed to get a grip and stop acting like he was my boyfriend or even my husband. That entitlement mentality was so stupid and I knew it.

Whatever it was that we had together or used to feel for one another seemed quashed now, ever since that night when his father had walked in on our staring contest. Mr Deangelo had not even bothered to bid me farewell neither did he even look in my direction when he wanted to travel the next day, it was as if he was trying to tell me to get over it and somehow, it felt like I was the only one imagining what had been between us, like it was just a figment of my dreams and it just never happened.

It felt like it had all ended before it even begun at all and I would be lying if I said that I did not feel heartbroken and down about it all, no matter how hard I try to convince myself that I was taking it too far and it was not supposed to be that deep.

I swim laps in the pool a lot now and then whenever it was night time, I pretended to always go into my room to of course, sleep but whenever I was sure that everyone else was asleep, I sneaked into the alpha’s room each time and find myself sleeping off peacefully on his bed while inhaling his scent. His scent always seemed to calm me down and even looked like it took away my nightmares, I always feel like a pervert afterwards as I knew that this was not something that I was supposed to be doing and me getting caught was sure to get me on hot seat if not thrown out of here but then I could not just stop myself from behaving in such manner, it was starting to get addictive even.

Each time I did it, I always told myself that this was the last time I would ever do such a thing but the next day, I always go right back to doing the same thing... rinse and repeat. A crazy and dangerous addiction.

Luca had followed Deangelo on his trip and so had two of the men and now, it was just the rest of the staff and pack. Mr Deangelo’s father however was still around despite his son’s absence and I have successfully avoided him for so long since he was here. Most of the time, he was always found making lengthy conversations with Mrs. Cali or sometimes trying to escape the grasp of madam Beatrice who seemed to have her claws on him and wanted him all to herself. They were basically the two people lording over the pack at the moment.

Just like every other day, I had sneaked into the alpha’s room and I had woken up just a few minutes before dawn so that I could quietly slip back to my room, all of these had been made very easy because only the alpha and I stayed at top floor, Mr. Alessandro had his own room here too but he had been staying with madam beatrice since he arrived so I was basically the only one staying on the floor, or so I had thought.

But then, as I was slipping out this dawn, Mr. Alessandro walked out of his room at the same exact time that I did and I was immediately caught red handed by him. He looked at me and back at the door, he did this for over three times and then I knew I had to say something, “uh... good morning sir. I... I...had to go do...” I kept trying to form coherent sentence and make up an excuse for what he had just saw but then I trailed off knowing that there was nothing I could say to justify myself at the moment. Instead of going off on me like I had expected, he walked past me and I was left thinking about what was going to happen now.

That morning, Mr. Alessandro suddenly offered to drive the kids to school and just before I could even make up an excuse and try to cajole him into staying back, the kids jump for joy at the chance of having their grandfather drop them at their schools and I sighed, scared to death for myself.

I continued to fidget with my hands as we drive to school while trying so hard to look at anywhere else but the elderly man that was driving through the rear mirror, I could feel his eyes on me at several intervals but I made sure not to look up and end up making eye contact, I felt like I might actually die at that impact.

Even Diego who is always very oblivious to everything ended up asking if I was alright because I was way too quiet than I usually would be whenever we went to their schools together like this. “I am fine, Diego. I am just a little car sick, that’s all.” I told him even though my mind was literally racing.

I was so certain that this man would not hesitate to kill me if he even just suspected that I was in any way affiliated to the Amato tribe much more get to know that I was his daughter. It was certain that he would not hesitate to finish me up before he even bothers to know my story or trauma and honestly even if he does get to know that before he kills me, I could guarantee that non of those stories will stop him nonetheless.

After dropping Mia and Diego off at the school, I kind of wished that I could just go in with them instead of having to remain in the car only with Mr. Alessandro.

As soon as I was in the car beside him on the passenger’s seat, even before putting my seat belt on, he started the car and not only did he start it, he placed the car on automatic lock and increased the speed to the closest maximum. He made drastic turns and even ran through a traffic light not caring about the notice that he was sure to get for that act,I was certain that i was going to be dead soon because this was definitely his way of killing me.

But then, we soon stopped at a diner and I was so shocked and surprised that it was not some dark alleyway instead, somewhere he could peacefully murder me and be done with it. We walked into the diner and I avoided asking him any questions even though I knew that I should, he chose a corner and we both took our seats. Still without saying anything to me, Mr Alessandro ordered for us both since I was too fear stricken to even open my mouth much more speak.

Finally, he spoke to me, “Squash whatever feelings or romance that you think is developing between you and Deangelo.” He said in a scary voice that almost made me pee myself and I swallowed hard, shocked that he had even figured that out.

“I would not say more than that. I do not warn people twice, the second time is always an action not words.” He added and he did not even need to say because the threat was very obvious.

He soon proceeded to eat the rest of his meal so calmly like he had not just threatened my life. I was unable to eat a single spoon of food at the diner and he did not look like he gives two fucks about it, it was as if he just needed a place to get his two sentence across to me.

I was stricken with fear all through the ride back home and as soon as the car stopped, I did not even bother being civil, I ran out of the car.