Chapter 87: The Trouble With Jonathan

The next few days pass by as she hides out in her house not answering Jonathan's calls. She talks to Kelly several times and she tries to console Samantha, but it never helps. Feeling betrayed she reads and drinks, or watches T.V. and drinks. Kelly even told her she is becoming a slush and it's not good for her, but Samantha doesn't listen to her.

The only thing that makes her feel better is not feeling her heart breaking. That means lots of wine and losing herself into her books, not unlike she did when she was a kid except for the wine. That is, when she first found her love for reading fiction. Where else can you disappear into far off lands and strange worlds? Become anything you want to be and fall in love with characters from your favorite books?

That is why she has such a big library. All the characters she fell in love with and felt for were in those books. It was her childhood memories. Sure, she had Kelly, but most the time her sister was wrapped up in her own dramas. She wasn't like that, she had always found solace in quiet places and reading.

When she became a senior in High School, she was popular. She went to all the parties and had a lot of friends, but that was after a few very hard years. Later, she went to college and failed out because she was drunk all the time and partied too much. She had put having fun first and now she has paid for it. Always getting shitty jobs that paid badly and never ended well, till she met Ben and he changed everything for her. That was then and this is now.

She looks in the mirror and doesn't recognize herself after a few days of not showering and barely eating. Hygiene wasn't a priority to her right now, especially when she just wanted to be drunk. Many things weren't a priority for her now at all. It's a good thing she didn't have a pet, or it would probably be dead.

She tries to brush the knots out of her hair as she goes to the bathroom, and then just finally gives up. Resigning herself to put her hair up in a ponytail she looks in the mirror again and sticks her tongue out as she makes a funny face. Then she walks into the kitchen grabs another bottle of wine and plops down on the couch. As she looks at the clock, she realizes it's 10:00 am and she hadn't slept in two days.

The first night she had such bad dreams after getting so drunk she threw up, that she decided she just wouldn't sleep anymore. Some were about Ben and then others were about Jonathan. After that, she just gave up on the idea all together and kept herself at a happy medium. So drunk that she couldn't feel anything, but not so drunk that she vomited everywhere.

Settling into another day of drinking and reading and moping around she hears a knock at the door. She jumps and hurries to it, looking out the peep hole she sees the mail man holding a package. Quickly she opens the door not realizing how bad she looks and the mail man right away steps back. "Are you sick?"

"Oh, no. Sorry. I just haven't been sleeping well."

"Good to hear that you aren’t sick. Anyway, I have a package for you, but it must be signed for. Please sign here." He hands her the pen, and she signs on the pad, then he hands her the package, smiles, and leaves. "Have a good day." He mutters as he walks away.

As she turns to go back inside, she looks across the street to see Jonathan sitting there in his car. Wondering what he's doing there she goes inside and locks the door. She looks at the package and notices it doesn't have any sender information. How weird.

She sits down on the couch and opens it carefully. Instantly, she knows who it's from, Jonathan. Inside she finds a note and a box of gummy bears. She finds herself smiling for a moment and then she feels sadness creep in as she starts to read the letter. Missing him horribly, she starts to cry.

Reading it, she finds that she can't believe what he's saying. He tries to explain it all by telling her that it's all a big misunderstanding. The woman he was talking to on the phone was his aunt and she had called because she was concerned about him. After all, she hadn't heard from him in a while, but she didn't quite believe him for some reason.

She sat there with the package in her lap, then suddenly, she throws it across the room. How dare he? Just when I'm starting to feel myself again, he does this to me. What is his problem? She asks herself frustrated.

Getting up to check if he's sitting across the street, she looks out the window and notices that he's still there. She should just go out there and scream at him. Make him think she's crazy, so he leaves her alone forever. Only then, she can drown in her own sorrow and drink herself to death. Instead, she gets a whiff of her own body odor and decides to take a shower.

She lays out a burgundy towel and a jogging outfit as she gets ready and turns the hot water on. Sticking her hand in first, she checks to make sure it's the correct temperature. "Mmm, perfect." She steps into the hot water and lets her head fall back. With her back facing the water running down, it cascades over her back and shoulders.

It feels like a massage as the jets pulse back and forth. Hypnotizing her into calming down and relaxing she washes her body with brown sugar shower gel. Her hair finally straightens out as she applies shampoo and then conditioner to it. After washing it all out she shuts the water off and grabs the towel.

She dries off and applies vanilla body lotion all over her legs, torso, and arms. Mmm. I smell yummy. Almost good enough to eat. She says to herself as she smiles into the mirror. While brushing her hair out, she sings one of her favorite songs and then as she finishes, she hears the phone ring.

When she picks up her phone a few minutes later, she notices that Aaron had called. She hits the send button and calls him back. He immediately picks up, "Hi, Samantha are you O.K? I haven't heard from you in a couple days. I was worried."

"Yeah, I'm good. I'm just going through something right now. Can you come over so we can talk? I need an honest opinion."

"Sure, I will be over in about five minutes. I was in the neighborhood anyway and that's why I called. I didn't want to just stop by unannounced just in case Jonathan was there."

"Nope, probably not going to ever see him again actually, but that's what I want your opinion on. Talk to you in a few so I can explain." She ends the call and then within a few minutes she hears him at the door.