Chapter 13 The Three L’s Lust, Like, or Love

Emily

He was going to kiss me, that's what my mind kept saying over and over before I pulled away. At the moment, I wouldn't want anything more than to feel his lips on mine and his hard chest pressed against my breast but I couldn't, I couldn't risk it. It might lead to something more and I was scared. I couldn't let what happened to me in high school repeat itself. Adam is a rich bachelor and any girl would have fallen heads over heels from him. So why would he want me? To play with my feelings as he had done with Heather.

Pulling away, my hand accidentally bumped his spilling some of his coffee on his expensive suit. As soon as it happened my hand immediately went over my mouth, and I could feel the fear creeping its way up inside of me. By the expression on his face when he was inspecting his suit, I couldn't tell if he was angry. “Miss Martinez is everything okay?” he asked after he took his eyes off his suit and was now scanning my face,

“I spoiled your suit,” my voice came out soft, for I was afraid to even speak. A feeling I found to be strange. Even though I had every right to be, I had just ruined a suit that I couldn't buy with the money I had in my bank account and purse combined.

“It's okay, there's no need to worry,” he replied reassuringly.

“Are you sure?” I asked again, confused by the fact he wasn’t angry. I just ruined a five-thousand-dollar suit, well that’s how much I think an Armani is worth.

“Yes, I am sure. Why the change in attitude?” he asked, with eyebrows raised.

“I thought that you were going to fire me for spilling coffee on your shirt.”

“Fire you? Why would I fire you for something so simple?”

“Well, you fired the receptionist because you were upset that she had mistaken me for an interviewee rather than a worker which was a mistake and a misunderstanding and I spilled coffee on your expensive suit that I couldn't buy.”

“I am not going to fire you for something that was a mistake,” he said after he had doubled over in laughter that he had to hold onto the wall for support.

“So why did you fire that girl?” I challenged him.

“I fired her because she had messed up.”

“I just messed up,” I retorted.

“Okay fine, I will rehire her.” Smiling deviously, I turned and walked away. The mere fact that I had won this mini-battle and I have gotten the girl back to her job, it had made me feel really good. She was fired for a very foolish reason just because of me and it was wrong. I am happy that this whole incident happened. It gave me a reason to let him see what he did was wrong and that the young girl did not mess up on purpose. Walking back into my office, I sat down and stared blankly at the door.

Sitting there my mind just kept wandering, replaying the moment Adam and I had in the doorway of the office. I couldn't help but wonder and have regrets. Wonder what it would be like kissing him, tasting his lips, sucking and biting on them––and regretting that I didn't take the chance. I am so afraid of history repeating itself that I can't let myself go and fall for a guy even if that guy is my boss. The thing is, I am confused. I don't know if I like Adam or I am falling in love with him or is it just pure lust. I haven’t been attracted to a guy for a long time, and the dormancy was now interrupted by him. A man who was making me crave him and it was scaring the living shit out of me.

Either way, I wasn't going to acknowledge or act upon my feelings because there could never be anything between us. Shaking the thoughts from my head, I came out of them just in time to hear Adam's door close. Getting up, I packed up my stuff ready to go when the feeling of guilt washed over me. I felt guilty for messing up his expensive suit and not having the decency to clean it. I was always taught by my parents from when I was a little girl that if I made a mess of things I should clean it up and that was exactly what I was going to do.

Going back downstairs I went inside the kitchen where I poured some cold water on a kitchen cloth. Finding some baking soda, I took it up and made my way back up to his office. Opening the door, I stepped inside without uttering a word. Walking up to him, I bent to his level before I began to rub some of the baking soda onto his suit then using the wet cloth at intervals to remove both the stain and the baking soda.

While doing so I could feel him staring at me, watching me and I could help but feel shy under his gaze. Rubbing his suit for a few more moments, the stain eventually disappeared and I made my way to exit when his voice halted me.

With my back turned to him I listened to what he had to say.

“Miss Martinez.”

“Yes, Mr. Jacob?” I replied without turning around.

“Thank you for removing the coffee stain and have a great day.”

Smiling, I opened the door and went back to the kitchen to put back the cloth and the baking soda before I made my way to my office. Grabbing my things, I exited the building. Waiting outside the bus stop, I took out my phone to check the time. It was now seven in the night aside from the street light that was a few yards away the place was dark. Sitting on the bench that was beside the bus stop, I called my mom's phone.

“Hey mom, I am on my way home. Would you like for me to get you anything?”

“No, I am fine Emily, Grace came over and made a casserole, so I am okay. Please be careful and come home safe. She left a note for you with the instructions for the casserole that she left for you.” Grace Winters was a good friend of my mom. She lived five miles away and would normally come to visit my mom when she got time away from her demanding job as a nurse.

“I will mom,” I replied before I bid her goodnight then hung up. Dialing my ex-boss Zack’s number, I explained to him why I had left in such a rush and had apologized to him for resigning without notice. Well, that was before I was cursed out by him. He had calmed down long enough to hear me out and from there out the conversation went smoothly. He had wished me the best in my endeavors and also wished the best for my mom before he hung up. Putting back my phone in my bag, I heard a noise behind me. Turning around I didn't see anyone. I looked wildly around but I still didn’t see anyone. I was about to turn around when a cat came running out of the shadows scaring me. Holding my chest tightly, I tried to slow down my breathing. That damn cat almost gave me a heartache but I was somewhat relieved that it was just a cat and not a person. That was until I started to shiver and goosebumps started to pop up on my skin. I had gotten the strangest feeling that someone was watching me. Turning back around, I saw a shadow move and I jumped.

Now frightened and very much afraid that I might be in danger, I looked for places to run to but there was nowhere to go. The only place I could go back to was the company and by then the person would catch me for I couldn't run in high heels.

Luckily for me, my bus was coming. Breathing a sigh of relief, I held out my hand and stopped it before I got on. Paying my fare, I flopped down in a seat nearest to the window. Looking through it, I saw a man walking outside of the shadow of the building. His hat was covering his face, and he was dressed in all black. Even though I couldn't see his face, I knew he was staring a hole in mine. He looked and dressed like the perfect serial killer.

Looking at him I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and the goosebumps returning. He had the same build as the man I had seen in the park and come to think about it, it was the same as the man outside my apartment complex. Wondering who he could be, and why everywhere I was he popped up, I began to wonder if I had a stalker on my hands or it was just a mere coincidence and he was just creepy. Moving away from that side, I settled down comfortably into another seat.

The bus had now driven off and the strange feeling had gone. Aside from the fact that he was the man I saw on two separate occasions, there was something about that man that seemed oddly familiar but I couldn’t think of what had made him seem so familiar to me. Finally reaching home after a long day, the work that I had done in that office was now taking a toll on me. My arms and feet were now aching and my body felt like it was run over by a train.

Closing my apartment door, I went straight to my mother's room where I opened the door without knocking. Pushing my head inside, I saw that she was sleeping soundly. Entering, I kissed her on her temple. She stirred a bit and I saw a smile appear on her face. Wondering if she was dreaming about dad or the fact that she felt my kiss, I also smiled before I exited her room, closing the door behind me.

Throwing my bag on the living room sofa, I trotted into the kitchen to find a note with instructions that grace had left me. Doing as I was told, I place a piece of the casserole in a container before putting it in the refrigerator and then heating up the rest in the oven. Seeing that everything was in order, I went to my bedroom where I stripped outside of my work clothes before going into the bathroom to take a hot shower. Getting out a few minutes later, I got dressed in a camisole and shorts before going back inside the kitchen where I took out the casserole and turned off the oven.

Sitting down comfortably on the sofa, I turned on the television and started watching a movie on the Lifetime Movie Network while I ate. It was one of my favorite television stations, where the crazy women and men killed either their spouse, employees, or parents over trivial shit, money and lack of love. Closing my eyes, I eventually fell into a deep slumber and the darkness of my mind was now replaced with Adam. He was on my bed staring down at me before his lips found mine.

Breaking away from the kiss, he gently began to massage my breast. The moans that were erupting from my mouth started rising an octave when I felt him thrust into me. Clawing at his back, his lips found mine again. Jumping out of my sleep, I wiped my forehead that was now covered in sweat. Sitting up, I took a deep breath before letting out a sigh. Turning off the television, I rested the plate in the sink before I went to my room to sleep in my bed.