Chapter 56

I got up early in the morning for our usual run. A few weeks ago, Leandro offered to continue my training. He told me it would be good to vent out my emotions through sparring in which I agree. It also keeps me physically fit and maintains my shape.

Ever since they started to convince me to go out and stop jailing myself inside my room, I’ve been out most of the time, hanging out with them, especially with Leandro. The guy was fun to be with. On the other hand, Damian had started calling him dad. He teased me that I should start to call him dad, too, which I tried. Both of us froze at the fact that it sounded uncomfortable and hilarious. Our relationship was leaning towards friendship rather than a father and son. We laughed about it and agreed that it’s better to call him by his name. Leandro calling me son doesn’t share the same feeling though so sometimes he calls me that.

I’m also ashamed to admit that I’m slacking off at work. I only work a few hours a day and sometimes not. Ironically, they seemed to be happy that I’m almost jobless. Leandro was loaded anyway as mom said with Leandro agreeing. I realized they really just want to spend time together as a family. Mom had missed me big time. It was the first time I’ve stayed here for a long time ever since I resided in New York city.

I finally knew why they acted like that. Leandro came to my room yesterday and suddenly gave me Cara’s address on a piece of paper. He told me that he and mom wanted me to be happy. They wanted me to try talking to her. If I don’t believe that there will be a chance for us, perhaps a proper closure so I could move on.

The whole night I twist and turn. I couldn’t sleep thinking about Leandro and I’s conversation. I thought about it all night. Cara is still the woman I love and nothing seems to change that– even with the pain she left me with.

“Jesus!” I stopped midtrack when I saw Leandro and mom being all sweet in the kitchen. They were kissing and being all touchy. I cringed at the sight.

The two jumped in surprise at my voice. They swiftly turned to me simultaneously. “Really? In the kitchen?” I watched them in disbelief.

Leandro scratched his head in embarrassment while my mom continued to cook breakfast, her cheeks flushed in red. “Sorry, son. I got carried away.” He said sheepishly as he walked towards me. The two of us are all dressed up for our morning jog.

“I need to tell you two, something.” He stopped in front of me to listen. Mom turned back to me, head tilted to the side. “I’ll go.”

Both of their eyes lit up, understanding what I meant. “That’s great, darling. I’m happy for you.” Mom chirped. The two crowded me for a hug and we started talking about my plans on how to talk to Cara. I guess we’ll be skipping our morning jog then.

—

Maybe it was a mistake to come here. I thought as I paced back and forth just outside Cara’s estate. The enormous gate was several meters away from where I was standing.

Her place was vast as if she was royalty living in a palace. I mean she is if we consider her title as Mafia Queen. Her huge mansion and the fact that this place extends to god knows where or how many hectares, it was intimidating. I know she’s rich, a billionaire, and facing her roots right now only proved how she and I are so far off.

In short, impossible.

I literally got cold feet. I should just go home. I sigh, before turning around to go back to the hotel where I stay.

“Dylan?” Franco just stepped out of his car and watched me in awe. He was surprised to see me here. “How… How did you know- right, Leandro.” He answered his question himself. I didn’t even have to wonder that he knows about Leandro and my family’s relationship now. He sauntered towards me, still in awe of my presence.

“Surprise?” I greeted humorlessly.

“How long have you been here?” He asked, a frown forming his face but only due to curiosity.

I shrug in response.

“Come on.” He nodded towards his car which I hesitated. His eyebrows knitted together when he saw me unmoving. “Don’t you want to talk to her?”

“I don’t know anymore. Maybe I did before I saw this place.” I muttered in a low dejected voice.

“You came all the way here, man. It’s obvious you came for her.” When he watched me still hesitating, he went around behind me and pushed me by my shoulders towards his car.

“Fuck. What the hell, Franco.” He opened the door and pushed me inside without a word.

“You spent your time and money to come here to talk to her. Don’t waste it.” He said as he revved the car.

I never stopped admiring the view as Franco drove towards her mansion. The place looked like it was cut out straight from the magazine. It makes me want to continue thinking that I shouldn’t have come here.

I didn’t have the right focus to admire the interior design of the mansion. I was too nervous and scared as Franco led the way where he knew where Cara would usually keep herself– in her study.

Franco nodded to the double doors but he didn’t open it. “I’ll leave you to it.” He nods before leaving. I began to feel agitated and scared again right after he left. I never realized Franco’s company made me feel relaxed for a short while as he led me here. My agitation came back in full force once he left.

Should I knock? I should just get this over and done with. I’ll never find out if I just stand here or leave without saying anything because I was being a complete coward.

I didn’t think and just did it without much warning to myself. I opened the door sans knocking. Despite the luxurious massive room, my eyes still landed on Cara who was languidly sitting on the chair behind her desk, legs placed atop of the said desk. She was twirling a pen on her fingers without a care in the world. She never fails to show that she’s the big boss.

She scowled when she saw the doors open suddenly. But then her eyes widened, eyebrows raised in shock once she saw who the culprit was. It was only for a moment when her expression went instantly back to her usual cold and straight face.

I slowly closed the door before sauntering towards her in slow careful steps. She was watching me in a way I could not read. It felt like we’re back to square one.

“I…” I started. “We need to talk.”

“What is there to talk about?” She was still playing with the pen as if she’s not interested in opening a serious conversation with me.

“You don’t mean that, do you?” I ruefully asked. It was not long ago that I had that confidence to go and talk to her. Everything went out of the window when I reached the gigantic front gate. The world seemed to know how to slap me with the painful reality.

Cara threw the pen on the table before she rose to her feet. She went around the desk and stopped in front of me, leaning her back against it.

“I thought I was pretty clear with what I said before I left.” Crossing her arms in front of her chest.

I frowned, getting annoyed at this memory again. Because in my mind, I still remember what happened and it’s opposed to her attitude and what she said before she left. “No, I don’t understand because before that, we were alright. We were doing fine. We confessed. We kissed!” I exclaimed in frustration. “If that’s not enough proof then what is it?! Because I have no idea why you’re tossing me away like a piece of shit.”

“Is that why you’re here? Clinging to an imaginary hope that you could be with me? Yes, we kissed. In case you have forgotten, we also had sex countless times— but guess what? People do that without any strings attached. Don’t convince yourself that we feel the same way just because we have been intimate.”

Ouch. What even hurts more is the fact that she said those things calmly with no care at all.

I smile wryly. Ha. “That night, I really thought our feelings were mutual. You…” I couldn’t say it. I couldn’t look her in her eyes and tell her everything in detail about what happened that night. She was the one who fixed things and gave me hope to love her right when I thought I had no chance with her.

She gave the chance and took it away in an instant.

“It really wasn’t.” She then took steps towards me until we’re a foot apart. Her height right now reminded me of my position. I learned she uses those high heels to intimidate people. When a woman is taller than you, you should start running for the hills.

“You think I’ll change and leave all this behind. Not even you… could make me.” She muttered flatly against my face.

My eyes went to her in an instant. “You’re wrong. I don’t expect you to do that for me. I’m not expecting anything from you, Cara. I really just want to stay by your side.”

She chuckles mockingly. “It's either you're a masochist or you have Stockholm syndrome. What? You're in love with a woman who forced herself on you.” She scoffs. “You should change your standards in women, you won’t get anywhere with that.”

“But I did, with you.” I countered bravely as I took a step forward, eliminating the space.

My eyes dilated when I felt her hand wrapped around my throat, her usual move to me. “Go home, Dylan. You do not belong here.” She said through gritted teeth. I could smell her scent wafting through my senses. How I’ve missed her so much. And that longing feeling only intensified and added to my boldness.

“I belong with you— I belong to you.” I whispered the last part as I stared at her in the eyes. I dared not to look away and I hoped that she sees my sincerity, and how much I love her– like the universe, infinite and vast. “I never wanted anything more than to be with you. Can't you see that? Can't you see how much I want you? Can't you see how desperate I am?”

Her sharp eyes narrowed. “Go. Home.” She spat each word authoritatively as her eyes looked at me coldly.