Hurt-Magma

My dragon exploded from her maze in a smooth torrent when Igneous’ scent flared with pain. She muzzled against me wanting me to go comfort him. At the moment I truly didn’t know how to feel. Everything that he has said has been a huge revelation and I feel that now I understand him so much more. He seemed like such a strong man who had everything together and knew exactly what he wanted to be in life. I never imagined that so much of what I thought could be wrong.

Our mate needs us, just as we need him. We must heal his hurt so he can heal ours.

“Wait, don’t go Igneous” I yell to his back when her reaches the edge of the clearing. I see him pause but he doesn’t turn around. He hangs his head and I see the shutter that goes through him.

I stand up from the seat that I took on the boulder and walk toward him. when he I reach his side he still doesn’t turn to me. “I’m afraid” I confess.

He turns to me and meets my gaze. I quickly look away wanted to hide such a vulnerable feeling. I am a dragon. We are not just human. We have had to fight for our way in this world. There is no end to the battle. They separated us and hid us in this mountain. I want what he offers. I want him. but how can he say he wants me when he truly doesn’t know me.

Give him the chance to. He wants to. You can feel it.

I lean against his side feeling raw in the moment. There are feelings and things that I have never talked about. They are the raw ugly part of me that has had so many people leave my life. No matter how many times I have tried to hide it, it always reared its ugly head to ruin the moment.

“I am a monster” I whisper.

“No, Magma……” he says turning to me. He gathers me in his embrace as he presses his head to mine. In comfort I lean against his muscled chest not wanting to let the blanket that covers me go.

“No, Igneous. I know what I am. I am a monster. That day that you remember, the one where you saw me on the television is the happiest day of my life.” I chuckle in sadness at the thought. “It’s funny that the best day of my life is one that I have no memory of. Just like you I watch that same clip several times. It’s the only way I can see the family that I wanted to be so much a part of” I murmur.

Finding strength in my confession I continue. “On the day I hatched, I was received by a couple who had tried for years to conceive. You could see the joy on their faces when they realized that they finally had a child of their own.” I smile sadly. “My first memories are of such love. I remember the feeling of talking to my mom and dad. How they smiled when I learned something new. I remember when my mom did my hair. I remember being on my dad’s lap when he read me a book.

“

All of it changed so fast, Igneous. When the other half of me appeared it ripped my world apart. People could tell I was different and unintentionally I rubbed it in their faces. When I was in that house fire, they were scared that they had lost me. A part of me wishes that they did so I didn’t have to see the horror on their faces.” I grimace when I remember how they looked. “I wasn’t scared when I found out the flames didn’t burn me. I had always been so fascinated with fire. So, instead of rushing outside, I danced in the flames as if it were a soiree. I remember laughing with glee even when the front of the house caved in”

I step out of his embrace as I gather the blanket tighter around my shoulders. “My mother gathered me in her arms when I accidentally put the flames out with my breath. My father however never spoke to me again. He couldn’t even be in the same room with me.” I shout at the pain it brought. “When my birthday came a week later, and all the promises of those to come failed, I grew so angry. My sadness turned into a raging pain, and I ended up shifting for the first time in the living room of some family. That was the first day my monster appeared. I became a monster” I say as tears leak down my cheeks.

I feel Igneous step closer as he lays a hand on my shoulder. I take comfort in that small touch and gather myself a bit so I can continue. “My mother was the one to calm me down when the authorities came. It had been hours as I stayed locked inside talking to the voice in my head. It was a voice that basked in my rage with me, and I found such comfort in the moment with it.”

I am still here. We will rage together and always share in our pain. You will never be alone.

“I know dragon, you will never leave me. But everyone else has left because of you.” I say to her. “You are the reason my parents sent me to live her sister. That man kept us locked up like an animal because he feared us, and our aunt let him.

Do you remember the scent of our parents fear when they dropped us off. What about the scent of their relief as they drove away!” I scream at her through my tears. “I am a monster because of you. I have lost everything because of you. I hurt because of you all the time!”

I have tried to help you shoulder your pain. You forget that I am apart of you and that I felt that same pain.

“Magma, I see how they hurt you. Love, none of that is your fault. You were just a child. A real parent should have helped you come to terms with who you were. They never should have left you like that” he says.

He is right. They were not worthy

“But they did leave. I would have stayed with my aunt even though I wasn’t treated well. At least they talked to me. That all ended when my dragon raised at their mistreatment. She broke apart their barn and tried to attack him when he made me cry.do you want to know what he said?” I question him as I meet his gaze. He nods his head as I blink through my tears. “He called be a beautiful monster. He said that he would train me to obey and to cause fear only when he commanded. He said that since no one could ever want me or love me, that I could be his perfect pet. The way he said it was the kindest thing anyone had said to me in weeks.” I spat starting to get angry at the memory. “I went to him willing for someone to give me even an ounce of love. He shattered everything he said when he began to remove his pants and my dragon understood the type of love he wanted to give” I confess as I fall to my knees.

“Oh Magma, please tell me he didn’t…..I’ll kill that piece of scum if he touched you!” Igneous yells suddenly rising to anger.

“No he didn’t. My dragon rose in that moment. She tried to fly for the first time when we smashed the barn apart. The neighbors came and removed my uncle from the rubble. He proceeded to tell anyone who listen that the monster tried to kill him when I didn’t like my food.” I whisper. “My aunt came and release my ankle from the chain that night. She handed me food and a map that led to this mountain range. She told me that I would find people like me here. I left without another word and found my way here all on my own” I say defeated.

“Magma, this is California. My god, you were just a child. With what you had just gone through I have no idea how you even made the journey!” he exclaims as he crushes me to him. I breathe in his scent to calm the storm of sorrow that I feel. After sharing everything I feel so much lighter for some reason. I feel as if I have let the heavy weight I carry go.

“I flew here. I stayed in dragon form the entire time so I could protect myself. I was forced to learn to hunt that way, use the bathroom that way and to hide that way. It took us nearly two weeks” I admit.

I will gladly make that journey once more if it means that you will be safe. I will do anything to keep us safe.

“I’m so sorry you had to go through that. You were so brave to do that all on your own. You found a way to survive when so many others would have quit. You’re not a monster Magma. Your actions show that you are more human than you might think.” He gushes.

Not a monster. No we are something so much more. Together we can be anything even if our mate is human.

“Thank you, to the both of you. You have no idea how much I needed to hear that.” I cry out.

Igneous leans back from our embrace and he has the strangest smile on his face. He definitely looks excited, but he also looks as if he has something up his sleeve. “What are you up to now, Igneous. Don’t think that I have forgotten how you treated me on the way here” I scold.

“I’m not up to anything honestly. And the way I treated you on the way here was because you were being stubborn and trying to get rid of me. As long as you promise to hear me out from now I won’t have to manhandle you into submission” he offers.

I like the way our mate took charge. We should let him take charge in other ways if you know what I mean.

I watch as my dragon turns her body and wiggles her hide in my direction suggestively. It causes me to laugh aloud. “Fine, I can agree to that, I guess” I tell him cheekily.

Then Igneous rubs his hands together and starts to walk backwards away from me with that same excited smile on his face. I cock an eyebrow at him wondering what he is going to do. “Show me Magma. Show me the monster you think you are” he commands with a spread of his hands.

Yes, let me out. I want to meet our mate

“What, have you forgotten already that she nearly killed you twice. What are you going to do if she tries to harm you?” I scream at him.

He chuckles. “Have a little trust, Magma. I trust that she won’t hurt me because she is part of you. And I know that you like me very much” he says with a wink.

He is right. I will not harm him. I promise. Now let me meet our mate.

“Fine, Just give me a moment” I say taking a few more steps back. When I am sure that I am at a safe distance I turn my words to dragon instead.

“We are going to shift. Let’s make this a quick transformation because I don’t want him to see me in pain. Remember that if you don’t behave I won’t let you out to see him ever again” I command her.

Agreed. Agreed. Now let’s go!

With her agreement I close my eyes and let her take over. My skin flutters as my scales take over and without looking I know that they are a scarlet red. My nose stretches to become my snout and I clench my jaws to hide the sharpness of my many teeth. I crouch over to land on all fours when my flat belly stretches to a large round one. My wings sprout from my back spreading wide as my legs and arms form my larger dragon legs and talons.

In under a minute I open my dragon eyes as I fold my wings and hunch down so that I don’t appear massive. Igneous stands still across the field with his mouth gaping open. He stares for so long that I start to wonder what he is thinking.