xxiii

How could I have expected this shopping spree to be over in no time?

In hindsight, now, with all the tulle and brightly colored fabrics billowing out around me, I laughed at my own stupidity.

I was sure Bekka would squeeze us into every single dress in this store.

We had been in the bridal and evening wear store _Tüllwunder_ for hours, trying on dress after dress that Bekka kept pushing into our hands.

Elena was lucky or unlucky, you see, to be the first of us to find a dress.

She had opted for a long, fitted, emerald green. The thin straps were pulled onto delicate golden beads. It suited her incredibly well. Petite but classically beautiful - just like Elena was.

"Forget it, I'm not wearing that!" I said, almost shocked, when Bekka handed me a dress that had countless layers of silver tulle.

It was strapless and the corsage was partially transparent. The worst part, though, was that it was covered in rhinestones all over.

"Wait a minute, Bekka, is that a wedding dress?" I stared at her in disbelief.

Malio would surely flee if I showed up in front of him in a wedding dress.

"No!" Bekka said offended, since I obviously didn't notice the difference between a far too extreme ball gown and a puny wedding dress.

,, Elena, that's a wedding dress, isn't it? Bekka, I'm not wearing that!" I was still staring at the dress that Bekka was impatiently holding in her hands.

"I think it's beautiful. It could really suit you. And...", Elena paused and shifted nervously in her chair. "And what?" I asked. "Well, you're going to the ball with Malio - that means every pair of eyes will be on you, you can't show up in a boring, normal dress!"

"Thanks Elena. This is my speech! So go ahead and try it on and get rid of that boring, awful dress you just picked out yourself!" Bekka commanded, shaking her head at the dress I'd just tried on and didn't think was so bad .

It was a barely flared silver dress. Plain and simple. I actually thought it was nice - but Bekka's devastating judgment made me doubt my choice and my taste.

"Okay.", I finally gave in, only to regret it a few minutes later when I looked at myself in horror in the mirror of the changing room. I didn't want to leave this changing room under any circumstances!

"Are you done?" I heard Bekka's impatient voice. "Not quite yet!" I lied to give myself the courage I would need to step out of the dressing room in this dress.

I looked like a split sofa cushion!

The fabric of the dress occupied almost the entire space of the dressing room. It sparkled and glittered and damn it, it was definitely a wedding dress to me!

"I'm not going to wear that!" I said loudly again, which made Bekka click her tongue impatiently. "Can you please come out first?"

I knew there was no point in arguing at all. Bekka was like a pit bull when it came to that ball. She was totally stuck and almost seemed obsessed with the event.

"Jolieeen!" she said warningly when I still made no move to take a single step out of the cabin.

With a jerk, the curtain was pulled aside and Bekka peered curiously into the changing room.

"Wow!" she blurted out and she put her hand over her mouth to suppress a scream of joy. "Forget it!" I said again and looked to Elena for help. ,, Please tell me that you also find it much too extreme! I'm going to a ball - guys, I don't want to marry Malio!"

Elena cleared her throat and finally said something that made me breathe a sigh of relief. "I think she's right. The dress is beautiful, it's almost like it was made for you. I have never seen anything so beautiful. But I see it the way Jolien does, it's a bit too much." "Do you think it's real?" Bekka made a testing circle around me.

I couldn't believe she still thought she had the right instinct about the dress.

"Fine," she finally said. "But if you ever get married, this is your dress!"

Of course. If I ever got married, this dress would be the last one on my wedding dress list!

Instead, I said, "Yes, for sure!"

I squeezed out of the dress and hung it back. "Do you have another one?" I heard Elena ask. "No - I'll go back and see if I can find something." I replied as I closed the curtain behind me and stepped out of the cabin.

Bekka nodded and piled a pile of clothes into the adjacent dressing room. Before she could stop me and I was forced to watch her throw herself into each and every one of them, I quickly snuck into one of the hallways where there were some black dresses.

I had absolutely no idea of the dress I would like to wear. There were so many beautiful dresses here that the decision would not be easy for me.

I walked down the aisle in amazement and touched here and there the dark fabric of the clothes, some of which sparkled, shone or were made of soft velvet. Just as I was almost at the end of the long hallway, I caught sight of one of the black dresses hanging on the last rail.

It was a floor length black dress with mesh panels on the hips. The sleeves were also made of a black mesh insert. At the ends it was replaced by fabric, which was equipped with soft, delicate feathers. Sparkly black and silver beads were attached to the dress, as was some glitter.

When I took it off the rack I discovered a high slit on the side. it was crazy Although this dress was anything but inconspicuous - it had me immediately under its spell.

I was in love and knew intuitively that it was. My dress.

"Did you find something?" Elena asked me when I returned to the two. I nodded and held out the dress to her.

"Is that a slot? Wow, it's really... daring," she said appreciatively. "And you thought the wedding dress was too exaggerated!" Bekka reported, who had just stepped out of the cabin in a flared, light blue dress.

"At least now you admit it looked like a wedding dress!" I said with a grin and eyed her. "It suits you!" I stated. "Very much so!" Elena agreed. "Do you think so?" Bekka floated across the floor as if imitating a dance. She turned around a few times and finally said, "I'll take it!" "That's all there is to it, Jolien!" Elena said, giving me a look that clearly said please hurry up.

I disappeared into the dressing room and put on the black dress, which was surprisingly heavy. But it fit. Even like a glove.

And it was breathtaking! Even though the slit was extremely high for my standards, I didn't feel uncomfortable for a second.

"Tada!" I said as I stepped out of the booth and spun around.

"Oh wow!" Elena commented on my little fashion show interlude. "Insane!" Bekka rejoiced and clapped her hands. "Like it?" I asked uncertainly, wiggling in front of the mirror to see how far the slit allowed a peek.

"Very!" Bekka replied.

Indeed, the slit was designed in such a way that, although it reached thigh-high, it never revealed a fatal insight.

"That's your dress, Jolien!" "I totally agree with Bekka. Malio will faint when he sees you in this dress." obsessed with her!" laughed Bekka, one by one hanging the sorted clothes back on the rail that a shop assistant had pushed for us so we didn't have to walk through half the store each time.

I felt myself blushing and shifting from one foot to the other in embarrassment. "Oh Jolien, you can tell how he is with you. He's totally changed. I've never seen him like that." Elena said. "What do you mean?" Bekka asked with interest. "He's nice." Elena said in disbelief.

"Malio is nice?" Bekka slapped her hand over her mouth in mock horror. "Stop it!" I took turns looking at Bekka and Elena, who continued to make fun of Malio's change in behavior.

,, And Bekka, guess who can't sleep until she gets a goodnight text from him! "Elena!" "Oh no, how cute! I bet he doesn't feel any different - you're so damn madly in love!" Bekka said with a mock gagging sound. I crossed my arms over my chest and looked at her annoyed.

"No but seriously, you really have a good influence on him," Elena said suddenly. "Yep, you can tell, right." Bekka agreed, this time without the amused undertone in her voice.

"Mmm..." I said uncertainly.

Was it true, was I a good influence on Malio.

Malio picked Elena and me up at 7:30 am, just like the week before.

He was already waiting in front of the door, impatiently drumming on the steering wheel. "There you are at last!" He greeted us grumpily, while I kissed him apologetically on the cheek and Elena took a seat on the back seat without a word.

"Sorry! I was dawdling!" I said, while Malio chuckled. "You're just taking too long in the bathroom!" he replied with a grin and maneuvered the car out of the street.

I knew he was drawing a lot of attention around here with his car. Every morning the neighbors stood in front of their windows and pressed their noses flat.

Well, who could blame them? If I hadn't known Malio, I probably would never have seen a car like this from the inside.

"That's not true!" I said indignantly and punched him gently in the upper arm.

He snorted and then turned to Elena, who flinched in surprise when he addressed her directly. " Elena, do you actually have a boyfriend?"

I looked at him in surprise. Why did he want to know?

"No," she replied shyly and I gasped at the smirk on his face.

I had always thought of myself as a non-jealous person. I guess I was wrong. Because Malio actually made it again and again that I almost lost my mind with jealousy.

It was frightening and fascinating at the same time what a single human being could trigger in you.

Malio's hand laid soothingly on my knee and I exhaled quietly. I hadn't even noticed that I had held my breath with his question to Elena.

"I'm asking for a reason, you know."

Oh yes? I gave him a warning look and his eyes darted from the rearview mirror he'd been looking at Elena through to mine.

I avoided his gaze, my heart beating wildly. "Relax, Jolien!" He whispered, laughing, and pulled the car to a halt at the light.

He leaned over and brushed my cheek with his lips. "You're so sexy when you're jealous!" He whispered so softly in my ear that only I could hear.

I relaxed a bit again. But the bitter feeling of jealousy was still palpable. Still here.

"Elena-" Malio turned back to her as he leaned back and floored the accelerator because the light turned green at that moment. I followed his gaze and checked the rearview mirror as well to see Elena nervous She was fidgeting in the seat. She had her hands tucked under her thighs and was looking questioningly into the driver's compartment. "Do you know my friend Rash?" My eyes left the mirror to look directly at Malio again.

"He would like to meet you." I felt my mouth drop open in surprise while Malio waited patiently for her answer. "With me?" I heard Elena's voice, which clearly contained uncertainty. ,, Yes with you! Anything, Jolien? It irritates me when you dress me like that, I have to focus on the road."

I closed my mouth again, but didn't look away, which made the grin that was already on Malio's face even wider.

"I think he's cute too!" Elena finally said softly. I spun around. "Seriously?" She shrugged her shoulders. "How come I don't know?" I asked indignantly, pulling the seat belt off my chest to better face her.

Malio pushed me back onto the seat with one hand. "What are you doing?" he asked annoyed, while he alternately switched his gaze between the road and me.

"I wouldn't tell you anything if I were you - you would have told me safe!" He added as he drove into the Academy parking lot. "Please?!" I heard Elena giggle softly and I snorted in disgust. "I'll talk to him Elena. I promise I'll be more discreet than Jolien," Malio said as he parked the car in the familiar spot.

It wasn't until he picked us up every day that I noticed that he always parked his car in the same parking lot. It was almost as if he had an unseen claim to ownership of this parking lot.

Well, he probably had. Nobody messed with Malio. That hadn't changed, not even now that he'd obviously become a lot nicer.

My status had also changed unintentionally.

The girls hated me but didn't show it publicly, preferring to pretend that they'd all suddenly love to be friends with me. And the boys? The boys wanted me because Malio had me. But no one dared to try.

"I'll go first!" Said Elena and stormed out of the car.

"Wait!" Malio stopped me before I could slide out the door to follow her. "You knew I was going to get jealous, right? You enjoyed seeing me like that, did am I right?" "Guilty on all counts!" he said with a grin after pulling me back into the car.

He obviously didn't care that the parking lot was full of students because he kissed me on the lips and it took all my self-control not to wrap my arms around his neck to return the kiss passionately.

Unlike him, I wasn't that into spectators.

"There's only one problem!" he whispered, making my stomach clench painfully.

Was it about the ball? Didn't he want to go with me anymore?

His breath gently brushed my lips. "Rash is super shy, we must go on a double date!"

Shy? Rash wasn't shy. Rash was a disaster!

What I found out a week later, in the café where the four of us were sitting.

He was sitting right next to Malio, across from Elena, poking at his milkshake with a straw.

When I first saw him, back in the Academy cafeteria, he didn't strike me as shy at all. As now, he was sitting next to Malio then, with his perfectly styled brown hair, olive skin and gorgeous smile - the only difference now was that he didn't exchange a word. Neither with me nor with Malio. And what was even worse, not with Elena either.

The real reason why he was here. Today. The last Saturday before the ball - the first Saturday Malio's parents haven't been to Silverside since I've been staying with Elena.

I immediately thought of dozens of better things to do with Malio now instead of being on this sad date.

Because nothing came from Elena either. "Does the brownie taste good?" I asked her. Elena almost jumped, it was so uncomfortable for her to be spoken to by me.

To our amazement, this was already the second date - against our advice and protests, Rash and Elena wanted to meet alone for the first time - and I had a hard time imagining how it had gone there.

,, Yes. She said quickly, nearly spilling her cup of coffee. I exchanged a quick look with Malio, who was probably thinking the same thing.

"Are you going to the ball together?" he asked and Rash nodded imperceptibly.

Malio's gaze wandered to me again. And I definitely recognized the do-it-yourself expression in them.

But what should I do? I knew Elena was totally in love with Rash, we spent at least an hour every night for a week philosophizing about him and his behavior.

After the first meeting I had already seen the light in her eyes. And Rash gave her the same look.

Sometimes I wondered if Malio and I looked at each other the same way. So in love.

As if I'd spoken the thoughts out loud, he reached across the table and placed his hand on mine.

Okay, we probably looked at each other the same way.

I wanted to get this damn date over with as soon as possible.

Finally the prospect of having sex in a soft bed lay before me. I really didn't mind his car, but it was early December, so our trips to the cliff were just getting way too cold. Despite the heating, which ran continuously.

He must have spent a fortune on gas.

"Bro, you know that," Rash finally answered Malio's question after an eternity and smiled at Elena. I couldn't believe that it was actually only a week until the ball.

"Sorry man. It was just a question.", I noticed how annoyed Malio rolled his eyes and stroked the sensitive area between my thumb and forefinger.

"Shall we go for a walk?" I suddenly had an idea. Rash and Elena were already on a date - and apparently things were going well - or at least not too badly.

So maybe this tense mood was because Malio and I were there? I hoped so.

Elena looked at me in disbelief. "It's December." "So what?

We were all wearing thick jackets as far as I could tell, so why not?

I kicked Malio in the shin for some extra support. He looked at me confused. It probably didn't occur to him that the horrible mood that prevailed between the four of us might be due to us. There were people who weren't cut out for foursomes - maybe Rash and Elena weren't.

"We should go for a walk, shouldn't we, Malio?" I asked again and kicked him in the shin again. "Ouch - yes, because of me!"

Rash finally looked up from his milkshake, which he must have found far more interesting than joining the conversation. "Fine with me!" he finally said with a shrug and I fought the urge to throw the sugar shaker at his head.

Malio's potential for aggression was obviously rubbing off on me.

"I'll go pay!" Malio said while he was already getting up and I knew immediately that he wasn't doing it because he was being generous, but because he simply wanted to escape from the tense situation. "I'll come with you! "I said quickly as I wrapped my scarf around my neck, picked up my jacket from the chair, and followed Malio, who was already in full gear going to the counter to pay.

"Why didn't you tell me that Rash is such a disaster!" I whispered quietly. "He's not at all!" "Oh no, what else would you call this date?"

He chuckled, searching for the right word as he handed the cashier a $20 bill. Which was way too much.

She thanked him for the lavish tip with a charming smile and I intuitively took a step forward to nestle in his arm. Her expression instantly darkened as she correctly interpreted my gesture.

"Did that have to be?" he asked laughing as he pushed me out of the café.

Rash and Elena were already waiting outside - and look, they were talking.

Maybe I wasn't entirely wrong in my suspicion.

"I don't know what you mean," I answered Malio, shrugging my shoulders. "Of course not," he comments, amused.

It was indeed bitterly cold in Silverside. Autumn had said goodbye within a month and winter had arrived just in time for the ball, bathing the streets in a thin, glittering layer of ice.

"Can we?" Malio asked. "Sure." Rash answered while standing next to Malio.

boy what are you doing I really wanted to grab him by the shoulders and shake him awake.

I grabbed Malio's hand as we made our way to the beach to fall backwards with him.

"Is this your plan? It's too cold for outdoor sex!" he said when Rash and Elena were well ahead of us. "Malio! Of course not. But didn't you realize how tight this date was. Well, I think it was It was up to us. Check them out."

And it was true, as soon as Rash and Elena forgot our presence, they thawed. They talked, laughed and fooled around.

"Maybe a double date wasn't such a good idea after all." Malio finally admitted and put an arm around me.

I snuggled closer to him as the cold relentlessly tugged at my jacket. "I'm glad you noticed that too," I grinned.

We walked a little in silence and I enjoyed the cold winter air rushing into my lungs while at the same time feeling Malio's warmth through my jackets. Or I told myself so. Maybe I wished it too.

I stopped at a house from which soft music was coming. "What is it?" he asked confused. "Psst!" I said and crept to the window.

"Jolien, what are you doing?" I heard Malio call behind me. "That's my favorite winter song!" I recognized it immediately. Among thousands I would recognize it over and over again. After all, I had seen the film hundreds of times with Amelie.

My heart grew heavy when I thought of my little sister. i missed her I missed them all. Even Silia.

I knew it was time to talk to my dad - I would do it after the prom.

"Jolien!" Malio said impatiently. "PSST!", "Jolien. What's a favorite winter song anyway? Nobody has that!" "But I do. I always hear it in the wintertime."

"That nursery rhyme?" "It's not a nursery rhyme!" I said angrily, motioning for him to be quiet again so I could finish. Also with the risk of being caught by the hosts at the window.

"That's a cartoon that's running." Malio had appeared behind me and was now peering through the lighted window as well.

"That's Anastasia, you film philistine!" "Children's film, I say yes!" I punched his arm, which was cushioned by his thick down jacket.

And a song sounds softly: Once upon a time in December.

The song ended and I sighed heavily.

An amused smile flitted across Malio's lips before he said, shaking his head: "You're really weird!"

I stretched and kissed him lightly on the lips, which he returned, more passionately than he intended.

"Shall we go?" he asked with a grin as he pulled away from me. "What about Rash and Elena?" I replied uncertainly. ,, They'll be fine, Rash Auto is here. He can drive her home."

He smiled seductively at me. A disarming smile that dispelled any insecurity in my mind.

"Fine!" I said while the butterflies in my stomach went crazy.

Because we both knew we weren't going to get much sleep tonight.

I spent the entire weekend at Malio's. In bed.

Waking up and falling asleep next to him was so nice that I didn't even want to see the start of the new week.

I would have preferred to stay in this bubble - in the vacuum that we had created together. Where there was nothing but us. That was definitely something I could get used to.

On Monday morning it was Malio who woke me up. "Jolien," he said softly, kissing my cheek tenderly. Although his lips barely touched my skin, the light touch already gave me goosebumps.

"I don't want to get up." I whined like a little kid - which I didn't care at that moment.

I just didn't want to get up. Didn't want to go back to Elena. Not away from him.

I felt him trail kisses down my neck and gently trace the collar of the t-shirt he had lent me to sleep with his index finger. "You have to get up though." He laughed against my skin and a satisfied sigh escaped my lips as his breath brushed my tingling skin.

"Because if you don't get up, I may have to make you. _I_ as a trusted student at the Academy, cannot allow anyone to miss class!" It was I who laughed softly before gasping in sharp air when I suddenly felt his other hand on the hem of my panties. He had his Fingers slipped under the shirt unnoticed.

"Malio..", I breathed and my body was wide awake. Again, he reacted without hesitation to his touch. I just couldn't get enough of him. Never.

"What is it, Jolien?" he asked, amused. I felt his weight shift and I blinked from half-open eyes to see him sitting in front of my legs. I felt hot all of a sudden.

With a slight pressure he pressed my thighs apart and dropped between my legs.

"Malio!" I said breathlessly as I felt his fingers on the sides of my black panties before he slowly pulled them down.

"Will you get up?" he asked defiantly.

He seriously didn't think that I would now reject him and jump up? I loved it when he licked me. Loved when he made me cum that way.

Hell I would do! We could do it for the rest of the day, if you like.

His lips brushed the inside of my right thigh, causing me to sigh longingly.

"What do you want?" he asked temptingly while getting dangerously close to my most sensitive spot.

I thrust my pelvis at him in response, but he pushed it back onto the mattress. "What do you want, Jolien?" The dark tone of his voice drove me crazy. It turned me on so much that I whimpered impatiently.

Malio spread my thighs even further apart, pressing them even closer to the mattress. "Say it!" "Malio!" He blew against my glowing spot and I gasped audibly. "Damn it, lick me!"

The next moment he dived between my legs and pressed his tongue against my middle, making me moan loudly. " Oh God!"

I roughly grabbed his dark hair for support, bringing him even closer to me, right where I needed him. Growling, he pulled my hands out of his hair and fixed them right next to my pelvis, on the mattress.

"Damn Malio!" I moaned loudly. "Keep your hands where I put them or I'll tie you to the fucking bed Princess!" His voice vibrated in my midst and I moaned even louder.

" How wet you are already for me. How I would like to immerse myself in you now!" "Then do it!"

I threw my head back, digging my long fingernails into his gray sheets and fighting the urge to bury my hands in his hair again. He would now bring me ice cold over the abyss and I was not allowed to touch him. That bastard!

"Malio please!" I practically begged for release. The sudden insertion of two fingers made me gasp in excitement. "Come for me, Jolien!" His voice vibrated in my midst.

He brought me to the climax with hard thrusts and the circling movements of his tongue, tormenting me even beyond that as he pulled his fingers out of me, pressed my twitching thighs onto the bed and continued to lick me. Unstoppable.

"Oh fuck, Malio!" My heart was racing so fast I was afraid it was going to burst out of my chest right here and now.

But he didn't even give me the time I needed to recover from my violent orgasm as he put on a condom and sunk deep and hard into me. "Fuck!" he gasped as he filled me deeply.

It didn't take long for him to find his pace. Hard, deep and precise.