Chapter 172
Heaven was in shock. She didn't know what to say. Her body and mind froze. This couldn't be happening.
Zarin took a deep breath as if calming himself down. He turned away and then back to her. "You said we should be honest with each other. This is me being honest. I know you have already chosen him. I just want to why him? Why him and not me? Be honest. Have I not always been there for you? Did I not do enough for you?"
Heaven stared at him for a long moment. She contemplated on whether to be honest because being honest would hurt his feelings.
This time things went too far, and she thought she might as well let it all it. Not keep any resentment or misunderstanding inside.
She took a few steps away from him and looked him in the eyes.
"That is the problem." She began. "You always remind me you have been there for me, like I should repay you in some way. I have always felt grateful to have you as my friend, and as a friend I thought it was only natural for you to be there for me. I- I never minded waiting for you while you were out partying with your other friends, and I never envied you for that. I was happy that you were living a different life than mine. I waited patiently because once you came it felt like I never waited. Never did I mind apologizing first either every time we fought, because your friendship meant more to me than my pride. I was always the one that needed you more, and you knew it. You knew I would always come to you."
A frown settled on her face now that she said it all out loud. It was not only his fault; it was hers too. If she hadn't chased him as much maybe he would have valued their friendship more. Maybe he would have needed her as much as she needed him.
"You ask why him? Because he needs me as much as I need him. Because while you still see the girl I was, he sees the woman I can be. While you try to protect me by putting me in a cage, he sets me free to fly, but is there to catch me when I fall. You may put a smile on my face, but he makes sure it stays there, and while a part of him is still lost in the darkness, he guides me to the light."
She looked at his pained eyes. He didn't want to hear more of it, so she stopped.
"Me making those mistakes, we were young back then. I never intended to make you feel that way. I can see he loves you, but I don't love you any less. He is able to do those things for you because you gave him a chance. I might not do as well as him, but I would try my best."
Heaven shook her head. She had a hard time processing his words. She knew he had always been stubborn, but never this much.
"Did you love me when I was meeting all those suitors? When I was anxious and worried to get married that I went as far as asking you to marry me. Did you love me then? Did you love me when you disappeared for several days and didn't speak to me because of a disagreement? Or did you love me while having fun with your female friends? When should I have given you that chance? While you were doing all of that?"
His eyes widened as if she had said something shocking, but at this point she didn't care. She was angry. If he had tried to kill her right now but apologized soon after she would have forgiven him, but until now he didn't even apologize after what she told him about how he made her feel.
"If you couldn't try your best before a chance was given I doubt you will after."
He looked hurt and angry by her words. Now both of them stood there trying to contain their feelings. They didn't even look at each other, avoiding to see the pain and anger in the other person's eyes.
"I understand." He said at last. "I am too late."
Heaven fought back the tears. She just lost her friend.
"Yes, you are. I am happy with Zamiel now." She said, the tears burning in her eyes. "I am not the old Heaven anymore. I have moved forward and so should you."
She could see him nod from the corner of her eyes. She felt a lump in her throat. He wasn't saying anything, so she had to speak.
"I hope you find what you need and I wish you the best. Good bye, Zarin." She said and then made her way out of the room.
A few tears fell down her cheeks, but she wiped them away quickly. If she cried now, she might not be able to stop, and she had things to do. She would not cry. At least not yet.
She didn't have time. She had to plan her trip to Varish and think of how to successfully convince the bald King.
Taking a deep breath, she made sure that she was calm before she teleported to Zamiel's home. Even though he had showed her around, she still felt lost.
"Heaven." His voice startled her.
"Oh, you scared me." She said as she looked to her left where he stood.
Swiftly he moved across the distance and wrapped his arms around her. Heaven was surprised. He did nothing like that before, but she didn't mind. She found comfort in his arms. Again the tears burned her eyes, but she fought them back.
"Did something happen?" She asked.
"No. I just missed you."
Heaven felt like something happened, but he wasn't telling her. She pulled away and looked at his face. He looked a little pale.
"Something happened. You can tell me." She told him.
He smiled at her. "I just had a bad dream. Nothing to worry about." He assured. "What brings you here?"
She pulled away from his hold and took a few steps away. She was going to talk duties and had to think clearly then. His closeness made her loose track of her thoughts.
"You made me a Lord last night. I don't know how to call Ilyas."
Heaven knew little about demon Lords. She knew they existed to rule over other demons and make sure that no demon breaks the demon law. Demons could choose which Lord they wanted to serve. Most of them wanted to serve a powerful demon Lord because it also meant getting protection from other powerful demons. But it didn't work that way anymore. The Lords abused their power, and many demons were afraid to leave their Lord to serve another, unless that other demon Lord is more powerful.
"You can't call him. You have to make an agreement to meet at a place and at a time." He explained.
How was she supposed to do that now if she couldn't call him?
"Shall I call him for you?" He asked.
"You can do that?"
He chuckled. "I can do many things."
Of course. She was half human and only nineteen. He was ancient, even though he looked nothing like it.
Ilyas materialized into the room. When he saw them he bowed. "My Lord, my Lady."
Zamiel motioned for her to go on with her business. Heaven walked up to Ilyas.
"Ilyas. I need favor."
She knew she could just give orders directly, but she wanted to win the love and respect of those who served her. Just like her father did.
Ilyas looked confused for a brief moment. "I am always at your service, my Lady." He said.
"Do you know the Kingdom Varish and King Rufus?" She asked.
"Yes, my Lady."
"I want you to find a secret or a weakness that I can use against King Rufus."
"It will be done, my Lady. Anything else?"
She turned to Zamiel. "Can I meet him here again?" She asked. It was not safe for Ilyas to come to her, yet.
"Yes."
She looked at Ilyas. "I need to know his weakness soon. We can meet here again until I find a solution."
When Ilyas left Zamiel asked her what was going on.
"I am thinking of becoming a General first." She told him about her plan and what she had to do.
"Is there any way I can help you?" He asked.
"You already did."
