Chapter 173

Heaven went back to the castle, but something didn't feel right. It didn't feel right to leave Zamiel alone. Something told her he was sad. The way he held onto her hand when she was leaving told her he wanted her to stay. His nightmare seemed to disturb him more than he admitted.

Was it a nightmare about his family? Or the coffin?

No. She had to go back and make sure he was alright. She had promised to protect him and never let him get hurt again.

When she arrived at his home, she was surprised to see him standing exactly where she left him. Now she got really worried.

"Zamiel." She called carefully. He seemed lost in thoughts. He didn't even notice her arrival.

He looked at her surprised. "Heaven, what brings you back?"

"I was worried." She said.

He shook his head as if waking himself up. Then he smiled. "There is nothing to worry about."

"Zamiel. I just lost a friend because I thought I was protecting him by not telling him the truth. I don't want to lose you, so lets be open with each other."

He sat down on the sofa with a sigh. Heaven went to sit next to him.

"I-I can't sleep well. When I close my eyes, I see things from the past. My wife, my daughter…" He paused, looking almost guilty that he said it out loud.

Heaven took his hand in hers. "I don't expect you to forget about them or never about talk about them. I know they will always be a part of you and I am...in fact, curious to know what your wife and daughter were like. If you want to talk about them, I'll listen."

She didn't know how to act in this kind of situation. She thought that maybe if he had someone to talk to about his family, it would be easier than keeping it to himself. Or maybe it was still painful to talk about them. She didn't know.

"My wife Gamila, and my daughter Micah they... they were my world." He began but stopped. It seemed like he didn't know what to say or where to start.

"How did you meet your wife?" Heaven asked.

Was it right for her to ask? She didn't know. She trusted that he would tell her if he wasn't willing to talk about it.

"I was at the marked one day when I heard this female voice arguing with someone. Of all the voices, hers caught my attention. I instinctively searched for her in the crowd and when I saw her, when I looked into her eyes I just knew. It was her. The one I was fated to love."

Heaven knew he was lost in his memories from the distant look in his eyes. But he had a smile on his face when he spoke about her.

"Was she the first woman you loved?" She asked, thinking of the long period he lived.

"Yes. She was. Not all of us are lucky to find the one, and I thought I was one of the unlucky until I found her." He turned to Heaven. "And now I found you. Can I be lucky twice? It feels like I am dreaming and I am afraid to wake up."

"If this is a dream, I promise to never let you wake up." She told him. "Do you trust me?"

He seemed surprised by her question. "Yes."

"Then trust me when I say I will never leave you."

He nodded.

"You said you lost your friend?" He asked.

"Oh…" Heaven didn't feel like talking about it now. "About that... I'll tell you some other time. Now I need to leave. I have to make preparations."

"Alright." He agreed.

Heaven went back to the castle, determined to only think about her mission now and not let anything else distract her. She went straight to her mother's room.

"Mother, I need to borrow you guards. I need people by my side who know what I am. You can take my guards." She said.

It seemed like her mother already knew what was going on, so she let her take Callum and Oliver without asking why.

"I want you to find good trustworthy men and prepare for us to go to Varish." She told them.

They nodded and left.

Heaven went back to her room. She wondered how long it would take for Ilyas to find the information she needed. Grabbing her jewelry box from the dresser, she chose a bracelet and a necklace. Then she looked for her spell book.

She had to find a way to meet Ilyas when she needed him, so she thought of using magic. Calling each other by using objects. She had read it somewhere in the spell book her grandmother gave her, so she knew it was possible.

Once she found the spell she needed, it was time to try if she could succeed in performing the spell.

Heaven tried once, twice, thrice, but she didn't think it was working. What was she doing wrong? She needed her grandmother.

"Do you need help?"

And she always appeared when needed.

"Yes, please. This is giving me headache."

Her grandmother chuckled and came to sit next to her. "Performing magic is all drawing power from nature. You are part of nature, but it is difficult in the beginning to use your own strength. So try using something else. Something more physical. Here." She handed her a flower.

Heaven took it, holding it in one hand as she held the necklace in the other.

"Now imagine taking force from the plant and adding it to the necklace." She continued.

Following her grandmother's instruction, Heaven did as she was told. She knew it worked this time because she felt it. She felt the force go through her and she was happy until she saw the dead flower in her hand.

"This is why we use infinite sources to draw power from. Like the sun or the moon." Her grandmother explained.

Heaven felt bad for killing the plant.

"I heard you want to become a General."

"Yes." Heaven nodded. "Grandma, what happens with my plans to become a ruler if I marry?" It was something she had wanted to ask.

"Well… I think your husband would become the ruler then."

Heaven already expected that answer. Why would they accept a Queen as a ruler when they could have a King?

"Do you want to get married?" Her grandmother asked curiously.

"I-I don't want to make Zamiel wait." She admitted since her grandmother already knew about them now.

"So will you give up to rule?" She asked.

"I don't know. Maybe I can't keep both. Maybe I have to choose one."

"Heaven, I don't want you to give up your dreams or goals because of a man. No matter how much you love him or he loves you. Usually women give up everything when they find love and when they lose that love it leaves them with nothing. Love shouldn't make you give up your dreams, goals, or the things you love. And if a man truly loves you, he would never ask of you to do that. He would always find another way."

"I understand. But it is not that easy." Heaven said.

"Love is not easy. You have to water it just like you water a plant or it will die."

"But what if I am the water and he is the plant? He needs me."

"I think if Zamiel loves you, he not only needs you but wants you as well."

Heaven wasn't as wise as her grandmother, but she understood the meaning of her words. Still, she was confused about what to do.

"Why don't you let him figure out a way to be with you? I am sure he would find a way." Her grandmother suggested. "It would be interesting to see what he comes up with. I am sure he has what it takes to overcome obstacles."

He did. He had helped her overcome her own so far. She didn't doubt he would find a way.