Either Reject or Kill Me

I thought the best way to move on was to run away from my pack two years ago.

If you are wondering why I ran away, well the answer is simple. Four years ago, our Alpha Colby found his Luna and introduced her to us. Rumor said she had been married before and now she is divorcing her husband because she and Alpha Colby have finally mended things together.

You all have heard the side story of the girl who got rejected and ran away pregnant. Only to come back after a few years to be a strong, sophisticated woman with her chosen mate in her arms.

I would say, that is my Luna's life.

However, have you heard of the other girl's story? The mate of the man the luna chose, sleep and have her second child with. The one that our luna took as her second chance in love.

No, I don't think so, as everyone was busy looking at our Luna, but fate was unkind to me.

Real fact reveals that I ran run away from our Pack because I was jealous to see our Luna and my mate together as 'FRIENDS.' Simply just good friends. Everybody was okay with it, even her Alpha mate did not mind it but I wasn't. Never! no matter how hard I try to forget I moved on.

Call me selfish, and complicated but I think this life is pretty much unfair to me.

After two years of running away, I came back smiling like those cool girls with a whole new makeover. Except I was only to be shoved back into reality and thrown back to where I have been before.

As cliché as it sounds my mate, Shawn begs and did everything to have a second chance with me which I did accept. However, it still didn't take away the pain I went through and still I am going through it. He didn't reject me but, he not being mine completely, in the beginning, is still a problem with me.

I would lie and say that I didn't pretend. Over the years I pretended to see and think that everything is okay. I even try to turn a blind eye to it. However, the pretense didn't last long. Not when my mate left me the other night when I call out to him that I needed him as I was in heat.

He rushes to Luna's side instead of staying with me. He helped the doctors to deliver Luna's third child which was her second child with Colby, her Alpha mate. The Alpha couldn't be there as he was on his way from a pack business trip. The Luna didn't need anyone else in the pack but my mate. She calls that night saying she needed her friend. So, her wish was granted as her friend and ex-lover was there while I went through the pain alone. Shawn never shows up again after the incident not until a week later.

I hate the fact that with every problem she has she prefers to talk with my mate even with the news of her pregnancy to Colby. My mate was the first one to know. They had made it clear, that they are nothing more than just friends.

What about me? Was I okay with it? Indeed, I was never, especially when I woke up every day in the same pack to see her face and their child together. I don't know how Alpha Colby handle it so easily while I am the only one who couldn't and never came to terms with their relationship as just friends.

Not being able to handle everything anymore I put down my fork, grab a tissue to wipe my mouth, and told him that I am going away.

Everyone's attention was on me now. "Sure, you can go to bed now," he said squeezing my hand, but I pull mine away before I stood up and told him that I am moving away without him. Everybody looks at me dumbfounded as if I am crazy and what I was saying is not okay.

I took three steps back from the dinner table and look him straight in the eyes. He slowly stood up from the dinner table along with my parents, Shawn's mother, Luna Hailey, and Alpha Colby.

"Reject me" I blurted without blinking making him stumble back a little in shock.

"What did you say?" he stutters not believing what I am saying to him.

I took a deep breath and repeated to him "reject me."

I hear the murmur and cussing from around me, especially his friend but I couldn't care anymore. "Did you hear yourself? I thought we have moved past this. I thought we understand each other," he said with tears almost bursting from his eyes.

"I was wrong but that is just you not me. I understand you but you will never understand my situation" I told him.

"Fuck, then make me" he curses out loud reaching for the table and throwing it on the other side of the dining all. Then he grabs other things which I couldn't name because I didn't bother to look and broke them into half. Everyone was trying to calm him, but I just stood there demanding for him again to reject me.

Hailey growls at me, "are you fucking insane you're hurting him." She lunges at me, but Colby holds her back.

Shawn's mother moves in front of me and slaps me real hard on the cheek which I turn around like it has not affected me. Yet her slap burns like fire and my cheek is throbbing like hell that I know for sure is already in red and probably will be swollen when it tomorrow comes.

My mother pushes Jen away and stood in front of me protectively and for this act of hers, I wanted to cry. She was never a caring person to me, her love was all for my older sister, but I wonder why now, 'is it because she's gone and now, I am the only child left' I laugh in pain.

I reach in front of me and remove her aside without saying anything and once again I came to face with him, my mate.

"Reject me," I said, and he shouted no at me.

He held both of my shoulders together and shake me lightly probably he is trying to knock some sense in me. Again, I am not in resolution this time I will get what I want and move away from this cruel and aching world of mates and pull shit.

"I can't reject you; I love you" he cried out and it made me laugh a little.

Those words from his mouth were not mine at first. He said that to someone else first and of course that someone is our luna who walks comfortably around and stood by his side whenever he needs her as a friend.

"If this is about Hailey and me then we can move away," he said and held onto my hand begging me.

I thought about that too but what could have prevented it. There is already living proof of their love in this world even though it's old news but still, there is evidence that they were once lovers.

Their history had already been written as she is the Luna of this pack and about me the side chick. I bet I am forever written as his mate whom he found later.

"I don't think that would work either," I told him honestly, and again I told him to reject me.

It ended up with him screaming that he would never do it and it is over his dead body.

"I reprimand you from moving out of this pack. You will be forever a prisoner here until you accept him as your mate." Hailey order me in her luna tone but I didn't even flinch or beg for her to not do it.

"Then kill me" I answer.