Comprehend

Shawn's Pov

"Did you see her today?" Alpha Colby said as he sat beside me. I nod my head discreetly. "Three years and she still looks breathtaking," I said with my eyes fixed ahead.

Colby didn't say anything afterwards as he just sat there and listened to what I had to say.

"I told Hailey back then that I don't regret loving her. I even told her that she will always be the woman I first love. It's crazy but I do remember I also told her that I am glad, she is the mother of my child." My heart ached while saying these words and I could feel Colby tense a little.

I know that he is uncomfortable because Hayley was his mate before she and I got together. He needs to see that it hurt for me to say this, but I needed to let it out. I just need to tell him what I'm feeling right now, and I know he's the only one who understands Jenna and maybe he could help me out.

Our pack members, my mom, my friends, and even Hailey had been telling me that if she has left because she doesn't accept me and see my real love for her then it was her loss. They even told me that I will find another mate who is more understanding than Jenna. Their favorite line was 'her leaving you is a revelation of her not loving you truly.'

All those things they said were not true because somehow, I think I am starting to see what my mate meant on the night she left. I felt Colby's hand on my shoulder, and I started to tear up.

"To be honest Alpha. I shouldn't have loved Hailey. I shouldn't have told her all of those things; that she'll always be my first love and I'm glad that she is the mother of my child." I say and couldn't hold in my sob. I didn't care whether I look weak to Colby, but I just need to let it all out.

"It's..." I couldn't say what I want to say now as I'm in tears. This is probably the first time I cry since Jenna left. My ways of dealing with her absence were training myself hard and doing pack work every day with almost no break at all. There were no parties or time to chill out with the other pack members.

"It's hard to understand her at first but then as time pass, I finally see where she was coming from." I let out another cry. Fuck, what if others see me. Do they think I am weak? No, I don't think so as this is purely me in love with my mate.

Colby pats my back before swallowing his saliva and slowly he speaks. "It's easy for me to accept everything because Hailey was my first love, and she is still the woman I love. The truth is it wasn't easy to accept the fact she has a child with you." He stopped and looked at the view in front of us as if he is recalling things in his head.

"There is a child that's not mine, but I accept him because she's the woman that I first loved, broke and it wasn't her fault that she ended up falling for you," he said in a sad tone.

I turn to see Colby smile a little even though it doesn't reach his eyes. "With Jenna it's the same but quite different, a lot different," he said and shrug his shoulders. "Hell! She has never been in love before and she was waiting for you, her mate. Imagine her reaction when she finds out that there was something between you two and not forgetting you guys have a child together. You were once Hailey's chosen Mate."

I clench my fist together as everything he said dawn upon me now. However, I don't interrupt Colby as I still wanted to listen to his words. I am trying to comprehend things from his view.

"It's not easy for her to accept another she-wolf's child with her mate when she hasn't even given herself to anyone yet. It's hard to accept the fact that you loved Hailey first and mated her first before her, your destined one." Colby paused and scratched the back of his head before saying, "it's easy for Hailey to say what she had said to you."

I look at him confused and he went on and explain. "Hailey told you to move on and that you deserve better than Jenna."

I shrug my shoulders and turn to look ahead at blank space. Colby shook his head slightly and keep explaining things to me. "It's easy for Hailey because she has been loved twice and was given a second chance at love. Unfortunately, it's hard for Jenna because she has never been loved by anyone before and Hailey took your heart first."

Every word spoken by Colby has knocked some sense in me and they were true. I should have guarded my heart and given it to only one person. Yet stupidly I gave it to Hailey instead of Jenna. My first child should have been hers too, yet it was with someone else.

I guess my insecurity about my mate loving someone and thinking that she might just be like other girls. The one who has given herself to another male wolf before her mate had led me to give my all to someone else. I should have taken the risk and waited for her as she has waited for me. Even if I have played around, I still should have guarded my heart and given it to her alone. At least then she is first into something.

However, everything was already taken from me and hers. No matter what, she will always come second in the eyes of others. It hurts to take everything back, nevertheless, it's too late to do so as that boat already sail.

Colby's continuous pat on my back as my tears keep on flowing from my eyes pulls me out of my thoughts. "So, what do they named her now?" he asks changing the subject and I quickly wipe off my tears.

"Claire. They call her Sr. Claire" I said with a smile, thinking back to our encounter today.

"Does she remember you?" he asked, and I nodded my head no.

"It's good she doesn't and by the way, Lucia told me a year ago that Jenna might never remember anything unless she fell in love again with our kind," I said.

Colby scratches the back of his head saying, "that's even more complicated." I laugh a little at that. He stood up dusting his shorts before extending his hand out to me. He pulls me up and hugs me again before we turn to leave.

We stopped when we came face to face with Hailey who stood there in shock with her hands to her mouth. She looks as if she is about to cry. "Is that how?" she stutters while looking at Colby who stood beside me not saying anything.

Colby let out a sigh and was about to move toward Hailey who is almost in tears. However, we got interrupted when we hear someone screaming and then follow by an increasing sound of leaves on the ground rustling. It got nearer until something rolls down from the slopes coming down towards us and landed in the space between Hailey and us.

"Oof" we hear the person grunt.

We could tell by the scent that it was a human, but we couldn't see if it was a man or female. The person did not move a single bone. Colby moved a little closer to the body and right when he was about to kick it.

The body moves. The person abruptly stood right up on its legs, moving around and dusting its clothes. Colby and I still couldn't tell if it was a he or a she due to the number of clothes the person is wearing which made it impossible to identify her/him.

"Whoa," the person exclaims giving out its identity as a female.

She halts right in front of Hailey when she stops moving around with whatever she was struggling with. Hailey stood there stunned and the tears that were about to fall were all gone and replaced with a shocked expression on her face.

My wolf whimpers a little and Colby furrow his brow at his Mate and the unknown female. The stranger let out a heavy sigh and swirls around turning to face us.

My world stops when I saw that smile again.

"Hello again stranger," she said and smiles at me before turning to Colby. "Gentlemen" she say nodding her head in his way. "Woman, my apologies" she said and turn back to Hailey who just stood there saying nothing.

"Jenna" Hailey mutters and Jenna straightens up her back dusting the front of her dress again.

"It's Claire dear. Call me Sr. Claire," she proudly introduce herself and with that Hailey fainted.

I stood their shock as Colby rushes to his Mate while Jenna moves around to help him out. My mind swirl with thoughts before I look up to the sky muttering, "moon goddess, what have you done?"