I'm Done

“I’m done!” I said excitedly after finishing that one hellish hour. It was probably the longest hour in my whole life. The sudden change in the water current has definitely made it more difficult to swim for one hour.

I looked happily at alpha while he’s holding my bow, he’s looking at its details. How can he be that handsome? He looks snobbish and ruthless at the same time… but all I could feel is that I am safe with him. I remained soaked at the river, only my head is visible for him. I can’t be vulgar to show myself almost naked. Just the thought of it made me blushed!

“Swim for another hour.” He said ruthlessly without looking at my direction.

“H-huh?” I just did finish an hour swimming back and forth! I can feel the fatigue all over my body! My shoulders and thigh are one of the most used part of my body in that one hour. I don’t think it will function again for another hour.

I can’t do it! I badly want to say those words but I am afraid of the aftermath.

He looked at me intensely as if he is giving me a warning for not following his order. I pouted and dived back at the river without hesitation. I should just drown here. Wait! Is this his plan? To let me swim tirelessly until I drown because of fatigue. Is this the payment for saving my life?

Cordia laughed at me.

‘What is so funny?’ I hissed at her.

‘I thought you wanted to die?’ She teased me even more, I could imagine that she is smiling.

‘Not anymore!’ I quickly responded while propelling underwater.

‘Because?’ She asked as if she already knew the answer.

I did not bother to answer; she will just probably tease me even more.

I’m tired! I don’t know his reason for making me swim for about two hours. He should have ordered me to run endlessly, it would be reasonable. Though, I’m a bit happy with running these days. I could run for three hours, that’s the extent of my physical abilities. Of course, in that three hours, I am sustaining my energy and is not just running for the speed. My thighs hurt the most by running that long, and now I am swimming with a changing water current. Of course, I’m tired!

After some time of non-stop swimming back and forth, I could feel that my legs are about to get cramped. Fatigue is subsiding all throughout my body. I don’t think I can swim for more minutes; I might get drowned if I do so.

‘You can still do it, Clary.’ Cordia said out of the blue, trying to give me some energy.

I shook my head, ‘it’s tiring.’

‘I know our body limits; you can finish it. It’s all in your mind.’ She assured me.

I nodded, hoping that she’s right. I have been running for the past three days, my stamina and body might probably improve even just a bit. Even if it doesn’t, I just need to finish this and I will be able to rest. If I want to be stronger, I need to endure every pain coming on my way. It is the only way I could survive and have a chance to protect myself.

I can do it…I can do it…I can do it…

I kept on saying that to myself until I can fulfill it. If it is all in my mind, then I can probably withstand all these pain and fatigue. I have a brilliant mind…that is what my father used to say.

I can do it…

And even if I can’t, I knew, that someone up there sitting peacefully, will come and save me. I just have to entrust my own life with him, the only person that I could lean on in this time.

I don’t want to disappoint him, though. I am done disappointing others. For someone who is as important as him in our pack that decided to help me, I can’t disappoint. Who would dare to help me if he gave up on me? My dad gave up on me years ago, I can’t watch another person turning his back away from me.

Swimming will not be the end of me. I know that my physical body is tired, but with this mind, I still can swim. I can still coordinate my shoulders and legs to coordinate, I still can…

‘Time’s up, Clary’

I immediately gasped for air above the water and moved at the side of the river to have some support. I did it. I did. It was unbelievable that I did, but I could tell that if he ordered me to swim for another hour, I will be drowning in an instant.

I am waiting for his order, still soaked in the river, but he did not bother to say another word. I took that as I sign that he will not be ordering me to swim for another second.

He is sitting on the grass with his hands occupied by my arrow. He is not looking at my direction but I know that he is aware that I finished another hour of exhaustion. I took that chance to get dressed at the back of the bush where I undressed earlier.

The energy left in me was enough for me to get dressed. I almost crawled to go towards his direction. My legs and arms are trembling from fatigue when I sat beside him. I would normally be shy and probably would ask first if I can sit beside him. But with all these fatigue I am feeling, I have no energy to be nervous.

I felt numbed. The wind blew that made me trembled even more. I am freezing, from the cold water and the wind that brushing against my skin. Good thing, I wore a hooded jacket all the way here.

In my peripheral vision, I saw that Alpha Xylo turned his gaze at me that made me looked at him.