Mother

Clary's POV

I woke up in the same room where I found myself yesterday but now, it is fully different, I was lying with his arms encircling around me, as I faced his naked chest. Now that I think of everything we did yesterday, I found myself blushing, everythings had just loaded in my head... it was too fresh in my mind... and I am too shy to even face him. I was a bit embarrassed about it.

I am not sure if I woke him up or he was already up when I opened my eyes and moved a little because when I looked up to his face, I found his ruthless but calm facial expression staring at me. He brushed his hair and smiled... a genuine smile of happiness. Oh how I was craving to see it every morning, he is so handsome and I wouldn't get tired of staring at him.

"Did I woke you up?" I asked, trying to establish a conversation between us. He was still holding me in his arms and I am kind of shy with our position right now. I found myself wearing his oversized shirt, with no undergarments or anything.

I probably dozed off after we... we mated. Now that I thought of it, we just did it in which seems to have our own world, we even kissed at the living area, rather I kissed him on the living area. The thought of it makes me nervous, what if someone have seen us? What if others had seen us? That would be the death of me. That was so embarrassing.

He intertwined our fingers and he looked at it with deep thoughts. His facial expression says that something or someone bothers him.

"I want to visit our child," he started, still looking at our intertwined fingers. His deep expression added to the seriousness of his voice. He gulped, probably having a hard time to talk about it... but I could see that he was trying to have a good conversation.

"I named her Callyxe..." I said, trying to lighten his mood even just a bit. He looked so miserable about it as he tries concealing it but some of it were still visible from my sight.

He was surprised with my words that he almost stood up and let go of my hand. He gulped and then clenches his jaw, "was he a girl?" Curiosity filled his eyes.

I smiled, "I just assumed that she is."

He stared at me for a couple of minutes and just smiled, but the pain is still evident within his eyes. Now I realized that it was not only the grief that I should kept to myself, it was his too. We both stayed in silence for several time, not knowing for how long, grieving for our loss, trying to establish our lost moments. After then, we get out of the bed when the sun was already rising and went directly at their dinning hall.

I was still amazed with the elegance that their castle shows. I am also still not that familiar with the corner of their castle. Some of the member of the family of leaders bowed down at Xylo as we walk towards their dinning hall.

Some of them wears a surprised look in their faces when they saw me but decided to conceal it. The others were not that surprised seeing me in their castle, they just expressed their respect to Xylo. I was not really worried about them, I am not that conscious, too.

However, when the sight of his mother entered my vision, that was the time when I felt really conscious and worried about myself.

'It's okay, Clary. You can do it!' Cheered by Cordia, with the way she say those words it seems like she is fully healed, she had gotten stronger and cheerful.

'You scared me, Cordia. I thought I'll lost you too.' I said to her.

'You won't now, Clary. I'll stay with you in times of pain and happiness. Just keep of fighting, clary!' She cheered, motivating me.

I sighed and looked at Alpha Xylo's mother once again. She was already sitting in the dinning table when we arrived. Luigi and their sister was already sitting there too and all their eyes landed at me when they realized our presence. It was really embarrassing moment for me, how am I supposed to act in front of them? Was I supposed to smile at them or greet them a pleasant morning? No, that was not even a question. Of course, I should not do it. Who am I in front of them?

Luigi was the only one who looked like happy to see me. His sister does not really cares about me, she just nod at me with a slight smile. At last, his mother was looking at me meticulously and it really did made me uncomfortable. I need to admit that. Her eyes was kind of scary, it looks like she does not want me here.

I rise up from the dead, I was lost for several months and came back for revenge, so how am I suppose to act in front of them? It seems like they were informed of me being alive because their faces seems to have expecting me here.

Xylo guided me to seat next to him and I had to look at his mother first to have a sign of her approval. She just cleared her throat and turned her gaze at the food in front of us, snobbing me. What else should I expect from her?

The breakfast started with the tension going on in the air. I was not really sure if I should eat with them, I should have gone directly home. But that would seem rude. Goodness, I am really not sure with the right thing to do. I don't want to be rude because this is the Family of Leaders, the most respected in this pack. I have to go with the flow, and finish this as soon as possible, I cannot last this awkwardness!

'Relax, Clary. Breath in... breath out.' Cordia teases.

'Shut up!' And I just heard her laugh.

Tch.

"I heard you will be crowned tomorrow," Xylo's mother said without looking at me. It made me stop from chewing the food and just swallowed it immediately, too nervous with what I should say or what I should act. Where did she heard it? How did she know?

How long was I slept that it seems like I lost my observational sense. They seems to have known me... and my original land.

However, I bit my lip and nodded to answer her, "Y-yes..." My voice trembled even with that just single word, it explains how nervous I was in this dining table.

"Were you abandoning our pack, then?" Her right brow raised as she looked at me with some unreadable facial expression. I just know that she was not pleased to hear the news about me. She was not liking even a bit of it and it did made me even more nervous.

"Mother." Xylo said which seems like a warning tone, probably stopping his mother from whatever she was going to say but her mother was not even bothered by it and looked at me with the same facial expression that she has earlier.

It looks like she was waiting for my answer.

"I-It's not that... I just have to fulfill the duty that was bestowed in our family." I said, trying to take things in a neutral side.

"Family? Your father?" She asked, sounding confused and at the same time, curious.

I gulped and shook my head, "My mother's family."

"Your mother was born in this land. How was she supposed to have duties in other pack?" Still, I felt the pressure in her every word.

I bit my lip, "S-she is not my real mother..." My heart beat abnormally, too nervous with everything that was happening here... too intimidated by the... Luna.

She crossed her brows, "Does that mea-"

"Mother." Xylo interrupted her as his voice rise up.