The Family

Clary's POV

The breakfast was so quiet and awkward, thank goodness it was all done.

After that breakfast with the family of leaders, I bid my goodbye and decided to go home in the Northeast mountain. Xylo wanted to bring me home, but I refused. He, of course, did not agree to let me back home alone but I talked to him out of it. In the end, I walked back to the Northeast Mountain on my own.

I slept for I think 2 days that is why it seems that I lost so much time, that so many things have happened in just a little time while I was asleep.

The moment I arrived at the mansion, I found my father talking to grandmother. They were talking seriously about something but I was not able to hear them. When they sensed my presence they looked at me and there, I saw the happiness in my father's eyes, it was glowing that looks like he was about to cry as he run to me and hugged me with all his might. His hands were trembling while he was caressing my back.

"I'm sorry, Clary. I did not know that you will suffer like that, I did not know that things would go that way..." His voice was full of regret and I can feel his sincerity. The sadness is radiating in him with so much guilt.

I hugged him back. Despite everything that had happened, he is still my father, his blood runs within me and he tried to raise me well. The only mistake was me growing up together with other wolves who are not my family. He was not a great father, but he tried his best and that was the most important thing about it.

He is still a father to me, I still love him as his daughter and nothing could change that. This was also my mother's wish... to forgive and to give them a chance... for me to be happy. I knew mom is happy as of this moment.

I may have been a bad daughter because I planted anger for my father deep within me, but that was before, I have forgiven my father and it was not his fault... it was just my anger that blinded me.

His broad shoulders trembled as I felt him crying, he was slightly sobbing because of that. I tapped his back, hoping that it would somehow comfort him. I was also teary eyed, but with all the things that had happened, I am too tired to be so emotional and crying about everything. Don't get me wrong, I am happy to see my father and I really appreciate meeting him right now but I am just too drained for crying.

"I was a fool for not letting you know about your mother." He said when he stopped from crying as he looked at me with his teary eyes. Now that I have a chance to stare at him, he has gotten so old. There were already some gray hair in his head and some wrinkles in his forehead. He turned old so fast. Probably because of stress which made me sad, did I cause his stress? Maybe...

I smiled weakly at my dad. I am too drained to think that everything is about me. I am too tired to even get mad at what he did. It was tiring to be full of anger and revenge within me and I want to be free from any burden. I do not want to cling into the past. Sounds ridiculous especially when it was only two days ago that I decided to attack Andrea which almost killed her... but I probably have woke up with no anger building inside of me.

Seeing mom must have woke me up in reality, she woke the Clary inside of me. Mom wants me to be happy, but I was doing the opposite to myself. I was living with anger and revenge in my heart that causes me to be blind in the happiness that I could have.

There was something that I have also realized from that encounter with Andrea. I am not like her and hurting others will not give me pleasure, I only felt the emptiness when I was hurting her. There was no fun with it and it does not helped even a bit to comfort me about losing my child. It does not even lift the burden that I was feeling, hurting others just made me empty. I just feel not myself, the pleasure and delightful that I was looking for when I was hurting her didn't occur, and with the fact that it won't bring back my child anymore... it has probably woke me up.

Right now, all I think is to have a peace of mind, to be free from anger... to be free from revenge... mom is right... I have to choose my happiness.

"It is okay, Dad. I am fine now," I said while he was still looking at me with the same eyes full of regret.

I could see that those regrets had made him old, and the days of me being mad and me hiding from him had just lost several time that I could have spent with him. I do not want to have a regret, that is why I am forgiving my own father. I have forgiven him... I have to forgive those people who cause this madness deep inside of me.

For once, I wanted to be free.

Besides, I do not want to waste my time for getting mad. Time is passing by and I do not want to get stuck at the same place where anger is the one being implemented. I do not want to be the same woman that I was yesterday, I am done hating the world for treating me like this.

"I'm sorry for what I did... for what your sister did," he said in sadness and sincerity.

Now that I heard those words, I wonder where she is. Was she in the hospital or at home? Did I hurt her badly? I guess, it was enough for the price that she needs to pay.

"How's Andrea, Dad?" I asked in curiosity. I hope she is not still dead, I want her to remember everything that she had done for the rest of her life and reflect from it. I want her to spend her life time reflecting on everything and I just hope that she will be able to understand where she was wrong and how she was wrong.

Surprised filled his eyes and his brows crossed. He then shifted his gaze anywhere but my eyes and said, "Xylo has exiled her."

I crossed by brows, unable to comprehend what my father said. "What do you mean, dad?"

He sighed deeply. "She was punished to not go near the homer pack..." Xylo never mentioned about this earlier and he has not said anything that would make me understand the thing that was my father is saying right now. It was not mentioned too in the dining area, nobody in that dining hall has dared to talk about Andrea.

"Where is she, then?" I asked, still not getting the information that I wanted to know.

"She will be jailed in a cave, it was sealed by Alpha, Beta, and Omega..." Dad said with pain in every word. I understand why my father is still concerned about Andrea. I understand his sentiments about his other daughter, she also came out of his flesh... and I cannot blame my dad for being worried.

I did not speak. I am not really sure with the respond that I should give. I was not sure if I wanted her to be alone in that cave, I was not sure if I wanted her to be in that place and I am not sure if I should be happy with it.

Actually, I somehow felt relieved about it. My father tapped my shoulders and smiled a bit, "she needs to learn a lesson..."