2. Womanizer System

One morning, there was an angel in my room.

“Yo.”

“...What?”

I blinked a few times, then rubbed my eyes, pinched the back of my hand, and even bit my tongue. But I wasn’t awakened from any dream of sorts.

There was, in fact, an angel. White skin that seemed almost transparent, a perfectly sculpted face, and snowy hair and eyes. With large wings spreading outward and a halo floating above her head, I was almost certain it was the real deal.

“Cool cosplay.”

“...”

I jumped out of bed, scratching my head sleepily as I approached the girl.

“Did my friends hire you or something? Wow, those guys are always doing too much, haha.”

“...”

She looked at me with an expressionless face, which made me feel a little embarrassed. She probably thought I was some sort of otaku who enjoyed this kind of stuff.

I mean.

That statement wasn’t exactly wrong.

“Anyways, can I touch it?”

I gestured toward her wings, which seemed extremely fluffy. I knew it was bad manners, but for some reason, I felt like it was something I had to do.

“You may.”

The girl closed her eyes tightly, folding her arms and extending her left wing toward me.

“Woah! How’d you do that? Some sort of mechanical system?”

“...”

It seemed she was quite shy, but whatever. I was kind of enjoying myself.

“Mmm… this is… insane!”

I ran my fingers through the soft feathers, my eyes widening in shock because of how fluffy the sensation was. The feeling was almost exactly what my child self had imagined clouds to feel like. The level of craftsmanship was top notch — it had my approval.

A hot blush crept onto the girl’s face, her bottom lip slightly quivering.

What a shame!

What a shame indeed.

“Well, that’s enough of that.”

Separating my hand from her wing, I slipped my other hand into the waistband of my pajama pants, pulling out a gun and pressing it against the side of her head.

“You see, my friends are all gone, so it couldn't have been them.”

“...”

“So, why are you here?”

My voice was still friendly, but my face had gone still. It was a natural reaction to a stranger appearing in the same place where I slept pretty much naked every night, after all.

“Do not be afraid, yo.”

The girl muttered underneath her breath as she slowly opened her eyes, her pupils gleaming as beams of sunlight laid across her face.

“This was Big G’s command, yo.”

“Big G…? Who’s that?”

“Your father in heaven, yo.”

“What??”

BOOM!

In an instant, I was knocked back by an invisible force, sending me crashing into a table.

What was even going on? I literally had just woken up…

I felt the sudden sense that I had been wronged by the world. But there was no time to waste feeling pitiful for myself. The girl in front of me began to levitate in the air, and with a quick motion, she plunged her hand into a gleaming ball of light and pulled out a metallic trumpet.

Tweet!

She took a deep breath and blew into it with all her might, but only a small note came out. But that was enough for a triumphant smirk to settle onto her face.

“The apocalypse has arrived, human. This was thy judgement, yo.”

“What!?!”

“Turn on your television set, yo.”

Beep.

Without me doing anything, the TV turned on by itself and began to play a segment from a popular news channel.

“…We are in a state of national emergency.”

On the screen, an old man was crying. Tears slipped down his face, staining his crumpled suit. Wiping his eyes with a handkerchief, he recollected himself and continued.

“Hey, I know that guy.”

“Listen, yo.”

“As you might already know, a—”

BOOM!

The old man’s head exploded before he could finish his sentence, making me flinch slightly.

As the decapitated body collapsed onto the ground, a grotesque figure limped onto the set. The skin on its face was stretched thin, but loose on its limbs and torso. It unhinged its jaw unnaturally wide, causing the skin near the corners to tear open.

“XXXXXXXX XXXXXX. XXXXXXXX XXX XXXXXXX X.”

And with that, the television powered off.

Slowly, I turned toward the angel.

“What the hell?”

“Look outside, yo.”

After a few moments of contemplating, I brushed myself off and grabbed a cup of coffee I hadn’t finished yesterday. Walking toward the window closest to me, I swept the curtains to the right with my hand. The view outside my apartment was concerning, to say the least.

Twilight on Earth.

Blackened smoke rose from destroyed buildings, sirens reverberated throughout the air. Cars were packed bumper to bumper on the streets, a seemingly endless amount.

There were a lot of people screaming and shouting. And crying.

“The apocalypse, yo.”

I took a small sip of coffee, grasping the mug tightly in my hand.

“Huh.”

There were a lot of thoughts running through my head right then.

But the most prominent one was: Should I just kill myself?

I looked down at my coffee and thought again.

Nahh…

I took a sip and let out a deep sigh. In a situation like this, it was best to remain calm.

“So what now?”

“You shall receive a gift, yo.”

“Oh?”

“But first, you must hear a song, yo.”

“Um, okay?”

“Yo, wassup I am an angel, yo. Today, Earth received divine retribution, yo. Monsters will now appear and kill all humans, yo. These monsters can and will evolve, yo. Best of luck, yo. Mickey G. out, yo.”

“...”

“I mean. It was…”

“...?”

“Pretty good. Yeah.”

I had a faint feeling she was just trying to show off, but if I could gain an advantage in a situation like this, I’ll listen to a million more songs. I’m not a picky guy.

“Nice, yo. Thank you for the compliments.”

“Of course.”

“Here is your gift, yo.”

[Congratulations! System Unlocked!]

[Your system is…]

“Big G said all humans shall get a system. It was randomized, though.”

“I see.”

“Okay, bye now.”

“Bye?”

“Mickey G. out, yo.”

Just like that, the angel snapped her fingers and disappeared into particles of white light.

With an amazed look, I took a few steps and plopped myself onto the sofa and took another sip of coffee. In the very back of my mind, I was praying that it was all a dream, but of course it can’t be that easy.

[Hello, user.]

Is it referring to me? To be honest, I’m lost on what to say.

“Ah. Hello.”

[Please answer the following questions! (compliance is necessary)]

Following my greeting, a new sentence appeared in my vision.

Is this some sort of test. Well, it doesn’t seem like I have that much of a choice.

[How was your day today?]

[1. Good]

[2. Bad]

It’s quite the simple question, is there something more to it? Or maybe, it's just starting off easy.

Whatever the case may be, I followed my gut instinct. Moving my index finger, I touched the circle containing a pulsating number one. Shortly after, the screen flickered and a new set of questions appeared.

[I solve my problems through…]

[1. strength.]

[2. knowledge.]

Without any hesitation, I selected the second choice.

I stopped trying to solve my problems through force since the time I got beat up by the girl sitting next to me in kindergarten.

People call humans like me ‘refined pacifists’.

[After learning a secret…]

[1. I keep it.]

[2. I use it against them.]

Once again, with zero hesitation, I selected the second choice.

During kindergarten, once I obtained the information that the girl sitting next to me wet her bed every morning, I took advantage of it as much as possible. After having done so, I learned the greatness of information.

Diplomatic studies call this kind of politics ‘armed neutrality’.

[I get excited when I…]

[1. Get hit by someone…!]

[2. Hit someone…!]

My left eye twitched slightly.

The periods combined with the exclamation mark at the end of the sentence made it uncomfortably vivid. It's as if you’re confessing your sexual desires, isn't it…!

Anyways, for now, I selected number 2.

To be hit or to hit.

I don’t particularly enjoy hurting people, but if I had to choose, then it would be the latter option.

I heard that there are people who feel pleasure from pain, but thankfully, I'm not a pervert.

[What is your preference?]

[1. Ass.]

[2. Breasts.]

Another completely unpredictable question has appeared, one that is somehow worse than the previous one.

I nearly raised my hands in order to pinch myself, but I stopped, realizing that would be kind of silly.

After thinking for a moment, I chose number one. If you are someone with common sense, then it’s only appropriate to choose number one. What is with these questions, anyways?

I filled out around twenty or so questions until I reached the end of the survey.

[What do you want to do?]

A very open-ended question. Like a boss ending the interview by asking the poor worker on how to solve the issues of world hunger, violence, and poverty all at the same time.

Well, obviously I want to live.

But to just live, isn’t that a waste? I want to have fun and live life to the fullest.

I raised a finger to my chin, a wistful smile on my face.

Well, if I had to say…

“I wanna date some cute girls.”

Ding!

The sound of a bell chiming.

No, the sound of an explosion.

[Very well.]

[Due to your aptitude and past, you’ve been granted a special system!]

Oh?

[EX Rank System has been intialized!]