FORTY

Kamilla Lopez

I crossed my arms trying to pretend not to be nervous with his presence, those damn eyes stare at me with intensity, he unsettles me, his hands shoved in his pants pockets, with that look of a real fucking man he has me hypnotized, I push those thoughts away quickly.

— What do you want?

— I want you to come back to my house, to be the mother of my child again.

— I'm not going back to his life, and about Erick, I'll try to see him and apologize for last night's attitude, he's not to blame for having a father....

Nick grabs my arm and says with a serious look.

— The fact of being a well— known man in the world of crime does not make me a person to feel something for someone, you and Erick are proof of that.

I go to my room, I don't want to talk in the living room at the risk of having Dona Carolina and Bianca overhear.

— I agree that you can have feelings for someone, but I'm not obliged to accept the double life you lead, I don't want that for myself.

In my room next to me, Nick looks at me with a cynical smile on his lips, again he grabs my arm and pulls me against his body, his other hand goes up to my face and slides tenderly. He tries again to release me, but in response he immobilizes me, preventing me from pulling away.

— Having let you go doesn't show you are the owner of your own nose, I let you go back to that house so that you could return to mine of your own free will!

— If you're mistaken that I'm not the owner of my own nose, I'm not coming back!

— Little doll.... Don't force me to be completely different from what I'm used to being with you.

— I won't be threatened by you and even more so in my house, I'm not obliged to do anything, I'm free, I'm not and won't be your object that might open your mouth and want to order me around.

— Shut up!

— I'm the one who threatens you now! If you dare to approach me again, I will go to the authorities and tell you who the famous successful businessman you are, Nick!

His gaze goes from crystalline blue to gray, his expression of anger comes over his face, his lips thin and his jaw set. Startled, I break free of her grip and take a step back.

— About Erick, I ask you to let me see him at least once a week, we don't need to involve our problems with him, I consider him too much like a son, unlike you who, despite having his blood, treat him incorrectly.

In an act of fury Nick advances on top of me, my legs fail with so much fear, before I went to the ground he held me in his arms.

— Do you think you can and threaten?— Don't mess with sharks, you're just a sardine in the ocean, don't try to be brave, or it will end badly.

— Let me go! It doesn't matter if you consider yourself a shark, I'm warning you to stay away from me, I don't want to see you anymore!

— Shut up, my belle.

Without saying anything else, Nick took my lips urgently kissing me intensely, I try to fight him and pull away, little by little I give in to the burning and erotic kiss. His hands stop squeezing me and start to walk around my body, an immense flame tears my body asking for pleasure, but before I completely lost my reasoning, I pushed him.

— Go away!

With a determined look he runs one of his hands through his beard, once again a sly smile draws his lips.

— Erick will visit you as soon as you calm down, don't think I'm convinced of your words, you're mine!

He turned his body and left my room, minutes later Dona Carolina and Bianca appear at the door looking at me curiously to find out what we talked about.

— Tell me everything! — Bianca orders.

— We want details.

After telling almost the entire part of our conversation, Dona Carolina and Bianca sighed with euphoria, they asked me if I was willing to go back with him, but I would never do that, I would never be next to a dangerous man, I would never put people's lives that I love in danger.

(...)

Days pass and my decision hasn't changed, dissatisfied with my denial, he sends me several bouquets of flowers and boxes of chocolate. Dona Carolina and Bianca were always by my side thinking that I would possibly fall into tears for him and end up coming back, but they were wrong, I would never cry in front of them, I cry at dawn, that's the only time I'm alone. After my dismissal I didn't look for another job, at least I left the house, Bianca always asks me to go to the cinema or to a park, but I was too discouraged. As the days went by Nick stopped sending me flowers, I didn't even have information from Erick, I don't know when I'll see him again, that was killing me.

— Calm down Kamilla, maybe the boy is upset, soon he will appear at that door.

— That's part of the game to get me back, if he thinks I'll come back to him, he's sorely mistaken!

Dona Carolina looks at me tenderly, she knows how difficult it is to forget Nick. Tears form in my eyes, before they slide down my face, I wipe them with the sleeve of my blouse.

— Actually, you're the one who should go see him, you're the one who hurt him, not him.

— I know, but....

— But you're too proud to give in to that, because you know Nick wants that.

— That's what he wants, and I won't give it to him.

At that moment the door receives light knocks, I approached the door and opened it, I come across the little being that I have been waiting for so long, Erick was standing in front of the door of my house holding a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolate in hands.

— Hi mommy.

Her small smile comforts my heart, I drop to my knees and pull her into a tight, strong hug, ignoring the roses and chocolate. I kiss her cheek and allow thick tears to slide down my cheek.

— My love. I'm sorry, Mom.

He returns the hug and kisses my cheek, with the act I put him in my arms and close the entrance door, I approach the sofa and sit on it.

— Are you okay, my love?

— I'm fine, mom, and how are you?

— Now I'm fine.

— Are you coming home?

— I'm sorry, my angel, but mommy won't be back.

— And who's going to put me to sleep?

— My love....

— Come home, mom, please.

Dona Carolina appears in the room, Erick directs his eyes to her, with a fearful look, asks:

— Who is she?

— Her name is Dona Carolina, she's like a mother to me.

— So she's like my grandma?—

— Yes....

— Oh, hi, grandma. — he waves to her.

— There, my heart of dust!— She walks over to him and puts him in his arms. — I'm your grandma.

The hours passed, together we ate sweets and watched several drawings that he liked, at all times he was in my arms, always hugging me and kissing my cheek, I loved that boy, again I was happy, happy to see— it again.

— Mommy, I have to go.

I hear the knock on the door and the driver appears who will take him back home.

— Don't forget Mom, okay?

— I won't forget, don't forget me either.

— Never my Love....

— bye grandma

— Buy little one.

As soon as he left, I allowed the tears to come out, Dona Carolina approaches me and comforts me in her arms.

— My girl, this will pass....

The sobs subside and I pull myself together, pulling away from her arms, and she runs a hand through my hair.

— God Kamilla, you stink, when was the last time you showered?

— It's been eighty— four years.

We smiled without humor and I turned my back on her to go to the bedroom and take a shower, but before I got to the room, I felt a strong pain in my head making me stagger, I hear Dona Carolina say something, but her voice is far away, my head spins and my body goes limp, I lose lucidity and fall into a deep darkness.