Butterflies
41. Embarrassed
🤍🖤💜 Jacob 💜🖤🤍
Oh God, I had to embarrass myself.
I stare at my phone screen, looking at the disaster I created last night. Why did I chat with her last evening? Just a pic and a voice note was enough and perfect.
I check my messages once again to make myself feel worse.
Me: ‘Wow you look fablous. Where are u?’
Me: ‘Fablus’
Me: ‘Fabulous… sry im dunk’
Such an idiot. Can’t even spell properly. Made a fool of myself last night. Then I see the image she sent me. She looked absolutely gorgeous. I couldn’t help but jerk myself off to her pic last night. It feels odd when I think about it now. I have never done this before, apart from that dream I had when I first met her. Not sure where that urge came from.
I read more texts; I had sent her.
Jacob: ‘You should hve stayed with me if you weren’t going hom’
I wince, looking at more spelling mistakes. What’s ‘hve’ and ‘hom’, Jacob?
It’s HAVE & HOME.
Then I read further.
Dull-Mean-Happening-Girl: ‘You had no spare tent Jacob.’
Me: ‘We could always share’
Me: ‘God you are doing things to me Natalie…’
Me: ‘I am having bad thoughts. im awful’
So many suggestive messages… She could have taken it the wrong way. It was stupid of me to say something like that on a chat.
Dull-Mean-Happening-Girl: ‘What thoughts?’
This text, right here. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. It means she is interested in me. Right?
That day June had told me. “She is totally into you!”
But I rolled my eyes at her. “You have an overactive imagination June.”
“Oh come on… You two didn’t even make eye contact. But let me tell you, she was checking you out! Like a LOT!!!”
Probably June was right. Maybe she is into me.
Then I read my next message and facepalm myself.
Me: ‘Thoughts of cuddling, Hand holding, Eye contact… That kind of disgusting stuff.’
WHY?
And what kind person talks about cuddling and hand holding.. I mean, it’s true; I think about holding her often. But I don’t think any girl would be interested in that! Any normal person wouldn’t be interested in that.
Sadie always wanted more. A dread rises inside me. What if I am unable to cope up with Natalie just like Sadie? To this day, thinking about Sadie gives me anxiety.
No…
I don’t want to think about that. I am attracted to Natalie. Things could be different with her. Last night I got hard just by thinking about her. It hasn’t happened for any girl before.
God, I’m indeed awful. Thank God I didn’t talk about my boner with her. I totally regret the last beer I took from those college students.
I can probably play it off as a joke. That would be a blessing in disguise. I read my message again.
Me: ‘Thoughts of cuddling, Hand holding, Eye contact… That kind of disgusting stuff.’
Yup! It does sound like a joke.
I give it a long thought and type my message away.
42. Butterflies
🤍🖤🤍 Natalie 🤍🖤🤍
I get butterflies in my stomach as I read his messages.
Jacob: ‘Sorry about that lame joke last night. Not sure why my drunk genius brain thought it was a good idea.’
Jacob: ‘I am such a jerk, didn’t even ask you if it would be alright if I pick you up from Ira’s place at noon.
So Natalie, Can I pick you up from Ira’s place at noon today? If you are not planning to stay there till eve… ’
“Natalie…”
I subconsciously put my phone down too quickly and Ira looks at me suspiciously. She squints her eyes at me and says, “You are having that look on your face.”
“What look?” I mumble, putting my hair behind my ear.
She comes near me, grabs my phone, and runs away.
“The one that says I am hiding something.”
“The Hell Ira!! Give it back…” I yell and lag behind her.
Out of my sheer stupid luck, my phone starts ringing.
“Ohhh The hot hockey player!!!”
I stop in my tracks. Why is he calling? I was about to reply.
Ira rushes to the balcony and locks the slider from outside. It makes sense now… why she got the lock enabled outside the balcony.
Who even does that?
“Heellooooo,” she answers the phone in a singing voice.
“Oh yeah, I am Ira… yea…”
I cannot hear what he is saying.. Damn!
“She is taking a bath... she takes long baths these days…”
My eyes pop up at that statement. Is it that obvious?
Giggling…
More giggling and laughing…
Bitch, you already have a man. Go laugh with him.
“Oh, you did? She probably didn’t see that message yet “
aghhh I did. You didn’t let me answer him.
“What’s there to ask? You can totally pick her up. But one condition.”
What Wait...What condition?
“Join us for lunch. Afterward, you can take her and drop her home.. or whatever.”
Or whatever?? Stop being suggestive Ira!!!!
She comes inside with an ear-to-ear grin.
“Why did you invite him?”
She returns my phone and shrugs, “Sounds like a good guy… I wanna meet him.”
“Why? You know there is nothing between us and there won’t be anything.”
She sighs, “Probably… But I know you like him.” She put up her hand before I could interrupt. “I know you don’t wanna get involved with him that way. But sometimes we cannot help it, Natalie…”
She is right. Last night I couldn’t help it. Instead of stopping him, I kinda encouraged him. I should have shut him up at his first suggestive message. Doesn’t matter if he was joking or not. That was stupid of me to fall for it. He must think I am some sort of easy girl. Just like West said.
An easy fuck.
“So it’s just a precaution…”
I look at her, confused. Precaution?
“How?”
“I will bust his balls if he goes over the line or hurts you. But to do so I gotta get to know him first,” she says with an evil smirk.
That makes me smile.
“You worry too much, Ira”.
“I wish we were at the same school, Natalie… I would have straightened your bullies up in no time. They take advantage of you being alone.”
I smile. She is still feeling guilty about last night. That’s why she is behaving extra protective for no reason.
God save Jacob.
Maybe she is right. Probably someone on my side at school would have made me less of a target.
Probably…
