Dirty Thoughts

40. Dirty Thoughts

🤍🖤🤍 Natalie 🤍🖤🤍

I call mom and tell her I won’t be coming home. She asks for Ira and talks to her for a while. We lie around watching Netflix and eventually decide to get out of the house for the night.

“Liam told me there is a big party nearby. Some rich dude is throwing. We could go-”

“Duh! I have no clothes, Ira…”

“You could wear mine.”

I scoff. “Your knee length will look like a short dress on me.”

She rolls her eyes.” I am not that short and you ain’t that tall. So quit whining,” she says and starts browsing her closet for dresses.

“Should I invite Liam?” She asks me hesitantly.

“Only if you promise not to make me feel like a third wheel.”

Then we get ready and head for the party.

It was stupid of me to believe her. The dress is too short and I am totally the third wheel. This girl is crazy about Liam and Liam is infatuated with her. I can see them happily ever after if they decide to take each other seriously.

Soon they forget I am there. So I wander around the party to find a corner where music wouldn’t deafen me. Only once I start exploring the mansion, I realize there is a freaking orgy going on. Not literally, but all rooms are occupied. I try to open a few doors most are locked from inside. The ones unlocked have multiple couples making out. When I see them, it makes me wish those rooms were locked too. There is a strange sense of lust in the air floating around. It doesn’t help I have been under a freaking dry spell lately.

I receive a notification from Jacob.

It’s a selfie. He is looking dashing with glee in his eyes. There is a bonfire going behind him and there are lots of people. I am lost on phone I do not realize I am standing in a dark, occupied room.

“Join us!” a guy yells at me. I turn my head to see a threesome going on and I rush out of that room, too.

“Lock the Goddamn door!” I yell back and they chuckle at me.

My phone dings again and my attention goes back to my phone. It’s a voice note from Jacob.

“Natalieee… It’s outstanding here… Wish you were here. There’s a group of ten students camping at this site.”

He sounds drunk. I chuckle and send him a selfie, too.

Jacob: ‘Wow you look fablous. Where are u?’

Jacob: ‘Fablus’

Jacob: ‘Fabulous… sry im dunk’

Jacob: ‘Drunk. God! Sorry.’

Me: ‘Came to a party with Ira. She is nowhere to be found and I am bored. Looks like you are having fun... ’

Jacob: ‘You should hve stayed with me if you weren’t going hom’

Me: ‘You had no spare tent, Jacob.’

Jacob: ‘We could always share’

Jacob: ‘God you are doing things to me Natalie…’

My cheeks redden at his message. That is outright flirting.

Is he interested in me?

Jacob: ‘I am having bad thoughts. im awful’

I know I am getting myself into dangerous territory, but I can’t help it.

Me: ‘What thoughts?’

I swallow hard and embrace myself for his reply.

Jacob: ‘Thoughts of cuddling, Hand holding, Eye contact… That kind of disgusting stuff.’

I shake my head in amusement and chuckle at his message. God damn it! I imagined sexting.

Jesus.

This boy is either too pure or a complete jerk. He is too hot and knows girls will fall in line for him. That’s why he is trying to mess with me.

Prick!

I blame this party and those couples making out in front of me for this horniness.

Me: ‘Enjoy your time there. See You tomorrow?’

Jacob: ‘I will pick you up from Ira’s place at noon. Wait for me’

My grin widens at his message.

“Such a shame… a beauty like you is standing all alone.” A voice brings me out of the zone I was lost in. I realize I am still standing in a dark room at the party. I raise my head to see a brown boy with two drinks in his hands.

“Bought this for you, beautiful… ”

“That’s party 101. Never take a drink from a stranger. To be honest, you shouldn’t be offering it to anyone.”

Considering I am at a party in an unknown locality, that’s a bold choice of words. Anyway, I don’t drink at parties anymore, so I had to tell him no, anyway.

“Alright, I will drink both. I hope you don’t mind talking to me for a while.”

Well, at least he asked for permission. So I say yes. He stands next to me and places a drink on a table next to us.

“I haven’t seen you around before,” He asks.

“I am here with a friend.”

“I am glad she isn’t around…” He says, peering at my legs. I get an urge to pull down the hem of my dress.

“Why don’t you try this?” He offers me his drink again. “I have been drinking so you know it’s not spiked.”

“I don’t drink at parties”

“tsk… what a lame way to live.”

I get this often. People don’t realize I have been there and done that. Risk is not worth it. Especially if alone.

We chat for a while, but for some reason, I grow uncomfortable. I am not sure what it is. Probably the fact he is trying to lean toward me or the fact he is trying to touch me with random excuses. I know he is trying to hit on me. But I am growing uncomfortable, as if I am being watched. I look around, but the room is dimly lit, and it’s too dark to make out the faces of people around. Or is it him? It’s subtle and I am unable to pinpoint it.

“I gotta go. It was nice talking to you...” I say as I move away from him.

He blocks my way. “Hey Hey It’s only been a while. Let me try my luck on you at least.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Come on! I can show you a good time. We both can have fun.” He is trying to touch my waist.

“No Thanks.” I give him a tight smile and try to move past him again.

But he grabs my arm and pulls me towards himself. My body crashes into his.

Just before I can push him, A camera flash goes off and the boy lets me go. As if he was doing this for the camera.

“Such a shame! I thought you would be easy...”

I ignore my urge to knee him and turn around to see Millie standing in the corner with a phone in her hands and I become enraged.

Did she ask this boy to harass me? Why wouldn’t anybody let me live in peace?

I walk towards her and snatch her phone to smash it on the floor.

“Nooo…. you whore!” She screams.

“Call me a whore when I fuck your boyfriend, Millie! You mess with me one more time. I promise I will make him forget your name. Don’t test me. You know, he was all over me a year ago.”

Her expression is shocked, and I know I have hit a nerve.

“He didn’t touch you before and He wouldn’t touch you now. Nobody wants to do anything with you. You filthy Slut!” she spats.

I chuckle dryly, “Oh Millie… So gullible you are… Haven’t you heard the rumors, huh? He wants me. Everybody wants me and you know it. That’s why you are freaking jealous. Ain’t you?”

I walk away from there, and tears burn my eyes. I degraded myself just to get back at her.

God, what kind of girl am I turning into?

Exactly the type they say I am.

I find Ira and we leave the party. As we sit in the car, Ira apologizes profusely. Tears run down my cheek. It was a stupid idea to come to this party. It was even more stupid to wear such a short dress. I hold the hem of my dress and pull it down. As if it could restore some of my dignity.

Ira senses my thoughts. She grabs my arm and says, “Don’t even think about that! Length of your dress has not anything to do with what happened.”

I don’t feel like that, Ira… I want to say it, but my voice doesn’t come out.

By the time we reach her place, I feel slightly better. I am freaking embarrassed about crying in front of Liam. I feel even worse when he doesn’t stay for the night with Ira. Not only did I ruin my night. I ruined their night too.

“Don’t you say that!” Ira scolds me. “I meet him every day! You and I meet barely once a month. You will always come first. And it isn’t your fault that bitch and that asshole harassed you.”

“Does she live around here? I can make her life a living hell. I wish I was there… I would have pulled her hair out or scratched her face.” She asks while rumbling through her closet to find me a night suit for my size.

She indeed would have. Ira is feisty.

“I don’t think she lives here. Must be my bad luck that she was at the same party in this part of town.”

After changing clothes, I lay in her bed with my head in her lap while watching tv.

When I open my eyes, it’s morning already.

I check my phone and see a message from Jacob. His mere name on my phone screen makes me feel better.

“Do you want pancakes or Bacon for breakfast?” Ira asks.

“Jeez, Ira… let me open my eyes first.”

I actually meant, Let me read the message first, but I am not gonna admit I was chatting with Jacob last evening or I was dreaming about him last night.

I was so upset last evening. Didn’t think I could still have wet dreams.

Aghhh!

But I am feeling better today. I am not even sure why I cried last evening. I smashed Millie’s phone and gave her a whole month’s worry by threatening to sleep with her boyfriend.

Jeez, what standards have I fallen to? Not that I plan to execute my threat, but I know now Millie will be worried about keeping her boyfriend away from me instead of harassing me.

I don’t think Norris is someone who will cheat on her. Maybe Millie thinks he is like her, i.e. Easy to lead astray. That’s why she got worried when I warned her. Or she believes in my seduction capabilities too much. It’s hilarious.

I get up to freshen myself, and Ira prepares some breakfast. After coming out of the bathroom, I quietly check my phone.