Ten pounds lighter

78. Ten pounds lighter

🤍🖤🤍 Natalie 🤍🖤🤍

Every time West tries to play nice with me, I want to punch his face. I am feeling awful about rejecting him again and again. Not because I feel bad for him.

Nooo.

Fuck him.

I feel bad because whenever he approaches me, Jacob is around to see the conversation play out. Jacob must be wondering if I am some sort of self-pretentious bitch not forgiving his poor friend.

Arghhh!

It’s my fault though. I should have come clean to him when he asked me about my tiff with West. Now with each day passing, I am finding it more and more hard to admit. Although I have decided I will do one thing right today. Something I was supposed to do a year ago.

Once I am free from my counselor meeting, I rush toward the locker room to catch up with Norris. I want to meet him alone. We have been talking now. The first time I greeted him, he looked at me as if I had grown two heads. I felt terrible.

Luckily, I catch sight of him when he is almost near the locker room.

“Norris!” I run towards him.

He turns and asks, “What happened to you?”

“Hey!” I say breathlessly.

He frowns, “Hey?”

“Uhmm. Can I talk to you for a minute? ”

He raises his brow.

“I mean not here... somewhere... kinda private,” I say, looking around. Not many students are around, but soon other players will be here. Trying to eavesdrop.

He glances at his watch and says, “I have 15 minutes. So... Sure!”

We walk inside the basketball court nearby and stand by the benches. I try to think again and again to form words in my head. But my mind becomes jumbled and my mouth goes dry.

“You ok?” He asks me.

I glance at him. He suddenly looks too tall.

“Can you sit down?” I blare out.

He chuckles and sits down. “Are you about to give me a lecture or something?”

“You are just… too tall.”

I sit facing him and take a deep breath to say, “I… I wanted to apologize to you.”

His smile falters.

“That night.. a year ago... You have no idea how much it has haunted me… The way I talked to you.” My eyes turn wet and I try to blink it away.

God Dammit!

I was supposed to complete the apology without crying.

“You save me from that guy.” My throat is tight as I finally admit it to him. Saying it out loud has resurfaced so many painful memories of that night. The risk I took that night... Anything could have happened.

“And I… instead of being grateful… I insulted you…. I am sorry Norris. So fucking sorry. I know it’s coming too late. But…”

He shakes his head and says softly, “Natalie... You don’t have to say anything… That’s alright.”

“No, it’s not alright and I do need to apologize… I really have no excuse why I behaved that way…”

His expression looks pained, and he says, “I know why you behaved that way! I felt like a dick when I finally realized what was happening with you that night.”

I blink, trying to process what I just heard.

“What… What do you mean?”

“I know Natalie... You and West. I know he was with Riley that night and you didn’t take it well..”

My face goes hot. How does he know that?

“Did West... Did he tell you?”

He shakes his head. “I figured it out recently... Don’t ask me how… but I know..”

He adds. “Truth is… I gave you hard time the whole year. That was a dick move, to be honest...”

My mind is still going haywire, thinking about how he knows about me and West. But he keeps on talking.

“That night… I was so angry at you. When I went inside the party I just told someone... I don’t even remember who... But I told someone what had happened in the parking lot. That one small statement turned into a big vulgar gossip… I tried to refute it many times! But it never died out.”

My skin crawls remembering the fucking rumor that made my life miserable for months. Rumor implied after sleeping with that guy at the party, I gave a blow job to Norris in the parking lot, then I went out to park with a group of guys and let them run a train on me. So many boys proudly flaunted their names in that fake glory story.

“Don’t talk about that… We all know how that went,” I say uncomfortably. “and I know it wasn’t in your control…”

But that’s not why I am here. I won’t let that shit take over my mind or life again.

“Do you forgive me, though?” I ask again.

“God, Natalie… Yes. Come here, give me a hug.”

When I get up and hug him, He says, “I am sorry you know… For every snarky comment, I passed to you here and there.”

I wince and confess.” Well... I wasn’t nice to you either.”

He chuckles, “I guess we were both dick to each other.”

“Couldn’t agree more.” I grin.

As we walk outside the basketball court together. I feel ten pounds lighter.

…..

When I reach home and tell mom I will leave for Ira’s at night.

“In middle of the week! Why don’t you go there over the weekend?” She asks.

“I miss her! And there is Jacob’s match on the weekend. I will go to school from her place.” I declare.

It’s a risky move. I need to get into Jacob’s house and leave for school with him in the morning. My parents shouldn’t see me sneaking in and out of his place. Being neighbors seems a big disadvantage now. I am getting bolder day by day, but that still doesn’t mean I can stomach another disappointing look from my dad. So the plan needs to be full proof.

I smile, remembering my conversation with Jacob on our getaway trip with Coco

“Looks like you never lied at home before... Always cover the tracks, Natalie… Always.”

I wish Coco was still around. I make a mental note to ask Jacob for her pics and videos. Then I text Ira to cover my tracks.

Me: ‘Iraaaa… My girl… How are you doing? I thought I should tell you that I will be at your home in the evening for a fake visit and you need to cover for me. If somebody asks, tell them We had lots and lots of fun then I left for school in the morning.’

Ira: ‘Oh Wow! Okkk… Now one question: WHAT THE FUCK NATALIE???? WHERE THE HELL YOU ACTUALLY WOULD BE?’

Ira: Please tell me you would be with Jacob.

Me: ‘Yes!’

Ira: ‘Did you guys have some sexy time yet? You haven’t told me any details! I am so angry with you…

Me: We have been sneaking around. A lot.

Ira: Have you guys fucked yet :p If not, please do. ASAP!

Me: Nooooo… Ira... I am excited but nervous about tonight...

Ira: Don’t forget condoms in excitement babe... You will be fine. I know you rock in bed… It’s been ages since we last met. Why don’t you come here this weekend… Bring your boyfriend too.

Me: Hockey Match over the weekend. :(

Me: ‘I am wise enough to use protection! I am not 14 for God’s sake!’

Ira: ‘Even adults don’t have self-control. Who the F are you? Below 18 means a child.’

Me ‘: ‘You barely turned 18 a month ago. Stop shoving it in my face!!!!’

Ira: ‘HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA’

I roll my eyes while reading her messages. But I am confused. Do I need to buy condoms or is it Jacob’s thing to take care of?

My cheeks burn to realize I haven’t ever! Like never-ever-ever bought condoms.

I don’t think I want to change that tonight.