Trust

85. Trust

🤍🖤💜 Jacob 💜🖤🤍

When She gets out of the car in anger, I don’t stop her. Because I am pissed too. I will talk to her after classes once our head is in the right place.

When She doesn’t come to attend any of the classes, I look for her. By the end of school hours, I get anxious wondering why she would skip school.

I was at the edge when I confronted her in the car. Now I wish I had held my tongue.

I check my previous texts.

Me: ‘I guess I said too much. I am sorry.’

I had sent this after I didn’t see her in any of the classes.

Me: ‘We still need to talk, but you need to pick my call for that!’

and this one when she didn’t pick up my call.

I sigh and send her one more text.

Jacob: ‘I am heading for practice. I hope you are not sleeping in some corner of the school. Although I checked your usual hiding spots to make sure you aren’t left behind like a 5-year-old… See you in the evening?’

I put the phone in my pocket, dreading that she will probably not answer this text too.

“Jacob!”

I turn around to see West and Norris coming towards me.

“Where is Natalie? Is she alright?” Norris asks as we head out towards the parking lot. I pinch my brows. I don’t want to answer this.

“Looks like there is trouble in paradise!” West says, amused.

I frown. “What makes you say that?”

“Isn’t difficult to guess. You look like shit and you avoided us today.” He chuckles and I roll my eyes.

“Yea, there was a slight argument,” I say.

“She will come around,” West says, amused. “Girls always come around.”

For some reason, I don’t like the edge in his voice.

“Really? I thought you were still trying to talk to her.” I take a jab at him.

“You might not realize I have made significant progress.”

I frown. “Are you saying you guys are talking now?”

“Kind of..”

I feel a twist in my stomach. Why didn’t she tell me about it… and How many things has she been hiding from me?

It's a small thing… Why hide it at all?

As I am lost in my own thoughts, they talk about college. Another topic I would love to avoid in this shit mood.

“Where are you going?” Norris asks me.

“Arizona…”

“Ohh! Me too.”

“You are not going to Michigan?” West asks. There is a tone of surprise in his voice.

“No… Natalie is…” I answer and look at him to see his expression. Maybe Natalie has told him about her college plans, too. I see a flicker of relief on his face.

“Where are you going?” I ask. Although I have a good guess about his answer.

“Michigan…” He says.

…..

I practice hard that afternoon. I try to pour my energy in rick. It barely works. I am jealous and pissed for no reason.

Natalie and West will go to the same freaking college, whereas I will be away from her. Even a fucking flight will take 4 hours!

If she cannot share things with me when we live in houses next to each other, how will we manage when we are far across the country?

This relationship is bound to fail.

We couldn’t even make it a month without a fucking fight.

….

After reeling under a negative spiral of thoughts the whole evening, I get up from my bed to see her. We need to patch up and talk or I will go crazy imagining worse scenarios. Even the thought of seeing her makes me feel better.

I walk across the street and knock on her door. To my relief, her mom opens the door. To be honest, I have no strength to face his dad’s scrutiny right now. My smile drops when she says Natalie has stayed at Ira’s again.

“Did she come to school today?” She asks me. She asks me with suspicion.

“Yes” I say. I don’t want her to get into trouble with her parents.

When I walk towards my house, I feel dejected and my mind cannot stop thinking dismaying thoughts. I try to tell myself it has nothing to do with the text I saw this morning.

Unknown: ‘Come to my place tonight.’

I cannot help but wonder if she really is at Ira’s or somewhere else?

…..

I’m tossing in my bed with thoughts tormenting me. I am constantly trying to keep them away.

I know I shouldn’t worry. I opened up myself all the way to her. All the way except for one thing. I am sure she feels the same about me. She is just angry with me right now.

When I finally fall asleep, I dream about her. All thoughts and rumors that I have tried to push away come back to haunt me.

….

She walks toward me in a silk black dress. Cloth so thin I could tear it with my one hand. Her nipples poke through the cloth and I harden in anticipation. I raise my hand to touch her, but she passes me. I turn to see her walking towards someone else.

It’s dark. I step towards them to see Natalie drop to her knees. I feel aghast as she unbuttons his pants. She takes out her tongue and licks his shaft from bottom to top. He groans and I realize it’s West.

…..

I wake up in sweat before my mind can show me more grotesque images. It takes me a moment to realize there is no point of anger I am feeling right now. It’s just a fucking dream.

and why would I dream about them?

Still I feel frustrated and resentful.

Doesn’t she care about me.? Why isn’t she answering?

I know it’s not possible. But I cannot help but wonder if she is with West tonight.

Unknown: ‘Come to my place tonight.’

Her minor lies and her hesitation around so many topics haunt me.

I need to know.

I have to.

I grab my car keys and head out to drive to Ira’s place.

….

“Hello…” Ira answers my call in a drowsy voice.

“Is Natalie with you?” I ask her while getting in the car.