Ride back home

104. Ride back home

🤍🖤🤍 Natalie 🤍🖤🤍

I fall asleep on the bus, with my legs folded against my chest and head leaning to the window. I open my eyes after probably an hour and see the bus flying through the highway. I glance up to see the clear blue sky through the glass roof.

“Nice sleep?” I jerk away at the voice, then sigh. He is sitting at the opposite window, looking at me.

I nod.

My eyes are not hurting anymore. My head is a little better. But if West sits and stares at me like this, my headache might return anytime soon.

“What are you doing here?” I ask and look around, trying to spot Riley. Top deck of this bus is almost empty.

“She is on the lower deck...”

I feel a twist in my stomach.

Will she call me a whore too? For sleeping with her boyfriend.

“I wanted you to know that I didn’t do this.”

I know.... It is kind of obvious.

He was here and why would he do this if it could damage his relationship with Riley?

“I thought you guys came by car,” I say to change the subject.

“She didn’t want to travel back with me.. I can get my car later.”

Does he have time and money for that?

Oh, yes… He is a fuckin drug dealer now.

“That’s an inconvenience… “

He shrugs. “I didn’t want to leave her alone.”

Yea don’t leave your girlfriend alone in distress.

It must feel nice to have your back. I never had this thing.

or I had…

When Jacob was around.

I look at the window and blink profusely.

“You guys broke up.” I state.

“You must be happy... This is what you wanted, after all.” He says, quietly.

“If I wasn’t reeling under my own breakup, I would have actually celebrated.”

“Let me guess. He didn’t believe you.“ He sneers.

“I didn’t tell him the truth.” I don’t know why the fuck I am defending Jacob.

“Was he being ignorant? “

‘Not my fault he is ignorant, easy to fool…’ West had snarled at me on his birthday night.

I don’t answer him. .

“I won’t give up on Riley so easily.” He is implying Jacob left me so easily.

I snort.

“I think… There is something about me…. It’s easy to leave me.” I look at him. “You have a firsthand experience after all… First Jake, then you… and now Jacob.”

“I tried to patch up with you. I texted you and you mocked me saying I probably missed fucking you...”

I sigh and close my eyes. I don’t have any strength left.

How can he be so delusional? Ignoring his own faults while pointing his fingers at me. He is talking is if he doesn’t remember what happened on his birthday night. What he asked of me…

“What did you tell her?” I ask. I am curious.

“I told her the pics are old, and we fooled around before I started dating her...”

Another pang of pain in my heart rises.

We fooled around…

I ignore the lump in my throat and ask, “What did she say?”

Why did she break up with him if he kept his story clean?

Truth is, he was sleeping with both of us.

He stays quiet.

I sigh and say, “Leave me alone West… and leave her alone too.”

“I won’t let her leave me.” he says in a strange voice.

I look at him, and a dread rises inside me.

“You cannot force her to be with you West.”

He looks away from me.

“Don’t harass her. Give her the space she needs…”

He doesn’t answer, and he gets up.

“Whoever did this… I will break his jaw.” He says and walks away.

… …

After half an hour, the bus reaches the city bus terminal. I get down from the bus and see Riley rushing towards her mother.

I walk out of the terminal and I see dad is waiting for me in front of his car. He looks stressed.

Did he see the pics too?

I walk toward him and get in the car, unable to meet his eyes.

As we near our home, I can’t help but glance towards Jacob’s house.

I swallow hard and wonder, Should call him?

To explain. To clear every misunderstanding.

Would he believe me?

But then again…

What is the point?

Why should I date someone who doesn’t trust me and thinks so low of me?

….

“Amy told me about your conversation with Jacob,” Dad says as we enter the house.

I nod and go towards my room.

“Natalie… Come back here…” I step falter and i turn back.

“Do you know who did this?”

“No,” I whisper.

“Looks like a typical revenge porn case.” I flinch at the word.

Dad ignores my reaction and says, “Do you think West did this?”

“No, he didn’t.” I tell him quietly. My eyes are digging into the floor. I am melting with shame.

How will I go to school to opt for homeschooling tomorrow?

“I opted for a runner coaching program at university. I need your permission to join it and I won’t go to school anymore.” I tell dad.

“What kind of program?” Mom comes into the living room and asks.

“They want freshman year runners to participate in some races. Time will be too less for training after the college starts for us, that’s why they want us to join early.

“You want to leave this house this week?” Mom asks in bewilderment as I explain more details.

I swallow. I didn’t think about it like this. But I want to be away from school & Jacob.

“No… You are not going anywhere.” Dad tells me sternly. “I am not leaving you alone after what happened today. You need to stay here for… “

For mental support I think he wants to add. But I think I will be fine this time.

“You need to be around your family. Not alone..”

“I cannot wade through my life if you keep sheltering me, Dad!!”

…… …… …… …… ……

🤍🖤💜 Jacob 💜🖤🤍

…… …… …… …… ……

The rest of the day was damn difficult. Natalie’s parents were called and his father involved the police.

“What will happen next?” I ask the admin lady sitting beside me as I wait for my turn for questioning.

“She is a minor... Police will file a child porn*graphy case even though the images are not that…” She goes quiet for a moment then adds, “It’s a serious matter… The boy in the poster will be questioned too. Usually these things are done to take revenge. He will probably be considered a primary suspect.”

I don’t think West did this.

Why would he if he wanted to keep sleeping with her?

But they had a fight… So maybe he asked someone to throw these posters in classrooms.

So many things seem confusing and conflicting right now.

Didn’t Natalie care about Riley? They seemed close.

Maybe Natalie always wanted to be with him. Possibly they stopped talking because West didn’t choose her.

Fuck! I don’t want to think about it. I take a deep breath and tap my feet while waiting.

I try hard. But still I cannot help but remember tiny details.

How she sometimes looked at him.

Cared for him.

Flushed around him. Especially at that birthday party.

I chuckle.

I am unable to differentiate if my mind is making things up, or I really noticed these details.

It’s been hours, and my throat is dry. There is an unusual heaviness in my chest. I hope it will be gone in a few days.

How long does it take to get over someone?

It’s funny, I was trying to cheer up Norris a day ago for the very same reason.

He specially called me to ask for company.

Do I want company?

I don’t think so.

I just want to be alone for a while.

…..

As I drive towards home, I have to make a sincere effort not to look at her house. I haven’t cried yet. But I am at my breaking point. I need some fucking privacy.

I pack my stuff and tell mom I will be staying at Grandma’s place for a few days. It’s an open house now. Thank goodness it hasn’t been sold yet.

I need solitude for a few days. Maybe I will feel better afterwards.

When I unlock the door and walk inside. A memory precisely replays in my mind. The way she tiptoed around the stuff lying around in this living room.

I drag my feet to my room and stare at it. We spend our night together in this room.

There is no furniture anymore.

The bed we slept on is not here.

The table I dragged and placed across the bed to have dinner at isn’t here either.

Nor are the candles or Natalie…

She had leaned in for our first kiss.

That seemed genuine. So many things seemed real and genuine.

Probably they were…

Maybe I was not enough, or maybe her desire for him was stronger.