Chapter 48

"I'm so happy to see my new school. It's a very big place. But school doesn't start until October. So I'm just staying with a friend I just made. She lives close to school and she's also a student like me, but there is one thing; her name is Lisa-Monalisa. Her name reminds me of bad things, the past which I have left behind. Her name reminds me of Monalisa who died of a motor accident.

Monalisa whose death I saw before it happened. So I asked her what other name she bears. I didn't tell her that I hated the name Lisa and that I don't wanna hear it. She told me her name is Fragrance. It is a strange name but I love it. So I call my new friend Fragrance.

When I was leaving home, mommy didn't cry

Granny and Dad cried because they'd miss me. I cried until my eyes hurt. I embraced both of them tightly. It was not enough. I felt like taking them with me. The nostalgia was too much for me becauseonly I knew that I was never coming back. No, not ever. Maybe on holidays for three days, but not for long. That place is where my past is, and I want to leave it behind forever. Mom was just looking at us as we both cried and embraced one another. I could bet she was smiling and I felt like slapping the craziness out of her. She didn't show any emotion. It's not because she's not alive or she doesn't care, it's because she doesn't remember any of us.

Oh you're surprised about mom? Let me tell y'all the story. It was on the twenty third of August, my birthday exactly that the doctor called dad, and he rushed down there. The doctor said mom moved her fingers and head from side to side. When dad came home to inform us, I jumped so high my head hit the ceiling. I had to get my head treated for five days before I got better.

It was like a dream, so Mom's coming back! But alas, it was a nightmare. I mean, it really happened but it was a calamity in disguise. I thought mom waking up on my birthday was some sort of significant miracle, but NO, it wasn't! Mom didn't even know who I was. She had lost her memory.

I remember running out of the hospital screaming "this is not my mom. Bring back my mom" I myself was going crazy. It's going to be very hard relating with this new robot of a mom

Even robots have memories. How can God let this happen to my mother? All the memories we've made together disappeared? How can I talk to mom about my feelings? How can I tell mom that I have a boyfriend who loves me so much? How can I tell mom that I'm scared and tired of believing in God? How can I tell her when she doesn't know me anymore! I had another round of tears when I remembered that my mom was back, but as a robot. I wished she never travelled last year.

So, mom came back home and Daddy and granny were discussing how to help her remember us, it's stressful.

Sometimes she even ran outside claiming she wants to go see her family, and when dad tells her 'this is your family, Dawn' in that painful voice, she screams and runs back to her room, shutting the door.

I miss my mom, I really do want her back but God knows I can't deal with that version of her back home. Now this would only give Selena and dad more opportunities to have sex, make babies and have fun. Maybe if they get tided of coping with mom, they'd strangle her and lie that she died in her sleep

Oh I'm over thinking again. I can't help but do so.

Who haven't I written about? Ivy? Ivy's fine, almost ready to deliver. My nightmares always come to pass, so she might die during childbirth. I'm not pessimistic, that's reality. Maybe I shouldn't bother praying anymore. I have lost all my belief in God.

Our Bishop did talk about miracles. The only miracle that'd make me whole again is if someone taps me now and say "Wake up, you've been dreaming for so long!"

THE END