Chapter 14

Millie

I’m still angry when I stomp across the foyer of the hotel, I slam my palm against the up arrow and flinch at the pain that shoots through my wrist.

I tap my foot in my sneakers and run a hand through my still wet hair as I wait to confront a man who clearly has never been held to account for anything.

If he thinks he can bully or cajole me, he has another thing coming. Terry might be running scared, but after a quick call to my own lawyer, I know I’m standing on firmer ground than Ryder is.

I had nothing to gain from Jake’s death, and if Ryder’s lawyer wants to go ahead with this, or continue to threaten me, I am prepared to release a statement detailing everything that happened including Jake kidnapping me and his death.

The elevator doors open, and I find the room and bang on the door, uncaring I’m late and look less than prepared for a meeting.

When the door opens and a woman dressed in a grey pantsuit, and heels open, I steel myself for the fight that is sure to come.

But rather than a hard nails bitch, the woman smiles warmly. “Millie, hi, I’m Grace Lowrey. Thanks for coming. Things will start to get hectic around here now’s he’s back.”

My eyebrow arches as I step inside and look around the room. There’s a contract on the desk, and a briefcase, but no sign of Ryder. “Is he here?”

She nods and gestures to the sofa. “He’ll be right out. Can I get you anything? A coffee?”

I shake my head and feel decidedly uneasy at how pleasant she seems. “Well, if you change your mind, I’m sure Ryder can fix something for you.”

When she picks up her briefcase, closes it, and walks toward the door, I shoot to my feet, bewildered when I hear a male voice behind me. “Hey.”

I spin on my heel just as the door closes and see Ryder walk into the room from the adjacent room next door.

He looks incredible. Dressed in a suit and tie, shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows. “Thanks for coming. Wasn’t sure you would.”

I’m so stunned at his relaxed behavior I’m not sure whether to slap him or walk back out the door. “I had to come. You’re threatening to sue me and Terry.”

He shrugs like it’s not a concern. “Terry. Not so much you.”

My jaw slackens. “Are you fucking kidding me? And where is your lawyer? Doesn’t she need to be here?”

He shakes his head and frowns. “I’ll call her if we need her. But I wanted to talk to you before things get messy since he’s your employer. But ultimately he was the one who published the photo. He’s liable. You sent the photo in error, you told him I’d sue if he published. But he did it anyway.”

If it were capable of doing so, I’m sure my blood would be boiling right about now. “Right. And all the shit I went through means nothing to you? Or the fact that I could call the police and tell them about Jake?”

His eye twitches. “I asked you here to try to fix this before you get pulled under with Terry.”

“I highly doubt that. But for the record, I quit my job tonight,” I say.

His face relaxes a fraction. “Good. That makes this easier then.”

I stare at him, at the indifference, and wonder how blind I was to think he was more than just an arrogant prick. “Nothing is easy about this. Nothing.”

When he just stares at me, I shake my head. “Forget it. We’re done. Don’t contact me again. Ever.”

He flinches and takes a step toward me. “You’re going to make me say it, aren’t you?”

I frown at him. “Say what?”

A flickering of annoyance appears that baffles me even further. “Why do women always need a declaration?”

I’m so confused by his erratic behavior, I’m not sure if he’s doing it intentionally or if he’s even aware of how insane he looks right now.

Whatever it is he wanted, I’m done listening. I spin around and walk as fast as I can to the door ready to escape the madness that is Ryder.

“They think I’m in love with you,” he says.

I freeze, my stomach flip-flopping about as I slowly turn, sure I misheard him. “Who are they?”

A shallow smile appears and for the first time, I see a line of sweat on his upper lip.

He’s nervous. He’s actually nervous. I stand riveted to the floor as he stumbles over his awkward reply. “Kai. Cindy. This random old lady at the airport who said I looked like a man in love and now my lawyer does too.”

I fold my arms across my chest and try not to laugh at how miserable he looks. “So, you decide to sue me?”

He glares at me. “I told you I’m not good at this shit. And I don’t have time to dick around. I start training camp tomorrow.”

As far as romantic speeches go, this one sucks. “Why am I here, Ryder?”

His eyes narrow. “You’re here because I can’t get my head on straight even without the pressure of a fight.”

I unfold my arms and sigh. “Wow. Really. Am I supposed to be flattered? Well, sorry, I’m not. What I am is tired, pissed off, and sick of your bullshit. If I don’t hear something nice out of your mouth in three seconds, I’m walking out the door.”

He stares at me and takes a shuddering breath before the words drip like honey from his mouth. “I don’t know how to do this.”

I screw my face up at him. “Is that your definition of nice?”

He scratches his head. “Give me a fucking chance, woman. I don’t and have never done nice. And I sure as shit don’t know how to do normal.”

When I move to leave, a tiny crack appears in his macho mask, and he looks something akin to panicked. “I didn’t want this to happen. But it has, and I can’t see any other way around it.”

I can’t breathe for too long a moment as his voice turns so tender my insides melt.

“I’m in love with you. And I don’t want you to walk out that door without knowing that.”

My pulse now speeding, I look at the contract on the desk. “If you aren’t suing me, why was your lawyer here?”

His face tightens. “She was talking me through my official statement my PR team will be releasing before the press conference tomorrow. There are going to be a lot of questions about Jake and about Carrie-Anne.”

At the mention of his coach I nearly choke on the words. “Did Kai shoot Jake on purpose?”

He takes a step closer and takes my hands in his. “I swear to God it was an accident.”

I swallow hard as he starts to caress my hands while I search his face for evidence he’s lying. “But you did cover up his death though, didn’t you?”

A dark look crosses over his face. “If you want the truth, here it is, I moved to Alaska because if I’d stayed, I would have killed him.”

I tug my hands away from his and step back to put some distance between us.

“I saw the photos in your truck and know about the rumors. Are you saying they’re all true?”

He gestures to the sofa. “If we’re doing this. I need a drink and you need to sit down.”

At the desperate look on his face, I take a seat and wait for him to open a tiny bottle of rum before he downs it.

“I met Jake when he was scouting for talent at my high school. MMA was still pretty new, and I was more of a brawler than an athlete. He singled me out, told me I had raw talent and he agreed to train me after I graduated.”

He grabs another two bottles and hands me one and even though I don’t feel like drinking it, I take it.

“He brought Carrie-Anne in around the same time. We spent a lot of time together.”

I think of the pictures I saw in his truck. “You were sleeping with her?”

He shakes his head. “It wasn’t like that. And she never came out publicly because her folks were Catholic, but she was in a long-term relationship with a woman.”

I unscrew the bottle and take a small sip. “I never read anything about a girlfriend?”

Ryder grimaces. “That’s because she only trusted two people. Me and Jake.”

He looks so disgusted I know what he’s going to say is bad. “There was this big sponsorship deal on the line. They wanted a female fighter to front an energy drink campaign. Carrie-Anne asked Jake to get it for her.”

I think I know where this is heading, so I take a gulp of my drink and sit back as he shakes his head.

“I had a key to the gym, and I was all set to train the night before my last fight. No one else was supposed to be there, so when I heard a noise, I checked on it.”

He finishes the rest of the bottle and tosses it on the sofa. “Jake was married. And he was no saint. If he wasn’t shoving coke up his nose, he was messing around with women. But when I walked in on him fucking Carrie-Anne in his office, he crossed a line.”

The more I listen, the more I see how deeply this has affected him. It’s no wonder his last fight was lackluster, he must have had a million things going on in his head.

I don’t want to interrupt him when he’s opening himself up like this, so I stay silent as he carries on.

“He didn’t see me, and I was about to leave when I noticed her girlfriend sitting in the car outside. She was sobbing. Like she knew what was happening.”

I swallow hard as he carried on. “I jumped in the car and made her tell me what was going on. Turns out Jake was dangling fights and deals in front of Carrie-Anne and blackmailing her. He told her if she ever told anyone about it, he’d phone her parents, and she’d never fight professionally again.”

I’m so disgusted, the horror of knowing he’s dead dims a little. “Did you confront him?”

He laughs but it’s so bitter I know what he said in the cabin is true. “Yeah. I confronted him. And you know what he said? He laughed and said he was ‘fucking the gay out of her’.”

I grip the tiny bottle a little tighter. “What did Carrie-Anne say?”

He shakes his head. “She begged me not to say anything. She was terrified. But I couldn’t let it slide. I called a journalist I knew and made sure they had the story. Jake was furious and because he thought it was her, he stopped getting her fights and she lost any chance she had. I thought I was helping, but it just made things worse for her.”

I swallow hard. “Did he ever find out it was you?”

He shakes his head. “Didn’t matter. He made sure I wasn’t in a position to do anything about it. The night before the fight on Christmas Eve, he put coke in my pre-workout. I got caught, so he made a deal with the promotor to bury it, so I’d be forced into fighting in staged matches in Japan.”

I frown at him. “Where does Kai come into all of this?”

His lip curls. “Kai’s connected to the Yakusa through his cousin. Aside from getting him guns and drugs, they pretty much leave him alone. But MMA is huge in Japan so Jake started putting pressure on Kai and made it impossible for him to refuse.”

I nod slowly, hoping I’m understanding correctly. “That’s what Jake wanted you to sign? A contract to say you’d fight in these staged matches?”

He nods. “Not just fight. But to win or lose depending on who the money men want to win. Kai never wanted that. Jake’s been promising him a shot for two years.”

I swig the final amount of alcohol left and slump back on the sofa. “And now it’s going to happen?”

He nods. “In a month. I haven’t had a fight in a year. I’m going to get my ass kicked. But it’ll be worth it to end this. Kai gets the title belt, and I get to walk away for good.”

My eyebrows rise. “This really will be your last fight then?”

His lip curls. “Yeah. I’m done. I was hoping I could take some time off to spend with a hot blonde who likes jumping in freezing water.”

At the way his eyes have traveled to my lips, and the heat that has started circulating over my skin, it’s difficult to pretend I wouldn’t like to see him in action.

His eyes narrow. “There’s the look again,” he says.

When I frown at him, ready to deny it, he smiles so widely his dimples completely disarm me. “Come here,” he says.

I don’t move, he gets to his feet and yanks me up. “Come here,” he growls.

“I’m not a fucking dog. I don’t respond to commands,” I snap.

He slides his hand to the back of my neck, sending a shiver down my spine. “No, you aren’t. You’re the woman who ruined my shitty little life and made me want a better one.”

I shake my head. “This is impossible. Even if I could move past what happened, I don’t think I can go back to the cabin.”

A half-smile flickers at his lips. “There is no cabin. Kai and I lit it up before we left.”

“You did what?”

His fingers caress the nape of my neck as he answers. “We set a slow burn fuse from the fireplace and we left the gas on. With the amount of ammo inside it would have been a decent explosion.”

My thoughts seem to shatter into pieces as I try to process what that means. Aside from destroying any possible evidence, it also means Ryder is homeless.

“You have nowhere to live?”

He shrugs. “Cindy offered me the caretaker’s cottage.”

“Are you going to work for her too?”

He laughs. “Fuck no. I have a couple sponsorship deals in the works. Easy money and I don’t have to get my head kicked in to get it.”

Still reeling from how calculated he’s been, I frown at him. “We’re too different for this to work.”

He slides his hand to my ass and slaps it. “I know. And that’s why it will work. My parents are too similar. We’d have no chance at making this happen if we were like them.”

When I don’t say anything, his eyes drift to my lips. “I’m going to Norway after the fight. I want you to come with me.”

I frown at him. “Norway?”

A lazy smile appears as he pulls me closer. “Yeah, I have a sponsor interested, and win or lose he’s going to fly me to Oslo. Figured we could detour to Reykjavik and see the Northern Lights. Maybe afterward we can go see your parents,” he says.

I’m so stunned, I’m barely aware his hand is now creeping under my shirt. “You want to meet my parents?”

He looks at me so intensely a shiver runs down my spine. “I don’t want to wake up each day feeling like shit because you aren’t with me. And I don’t want you to have any reason to find another guy. Meeting your parents is the fastest way to guarantee I’m that guy.”

I’m sure my jaw is hanging open as I trip over the words. “I’m obviously having a brain aneurism or something. What exactly is it you’re saying?”

A flickering of a smile flashes over his face. “I’m saying that I want to meet the people who made the woman I’m in love with.”

I suck in a breath and can’t find a single thing to say. My brain is getting fuzzy and I’m caught between anger and frustration he’s just ripped my heart out of my chest.

I was so sure of myself. So positively sure I had him pegged, and now he’s flipped my world upside down and is telling me he never was the person I felt so conflicted about.

I’m trembling, absolutely terrified by the depth of longing he’s stirring in me. I have never wanted a man this much before.

“It would be so much easier if I hated you,” I say.

He runs his fingers up my neck. “Does that mean you don’t?”

I release a sigh and shake my head. “I tried to. I really did.”

When he smiles again, I give up trying to figure everything out and just press my mouth to his.

His tongue slips inside my mouth, and he kisses me so hard, I know he needs this as much as I do.

I pull my shirt over my head and step out of my jeans. His eyes pop and as I look down, I realize subconsciously I’ve chosen my sexiest bra and panty set.

“This is what you wear when you think you’re getting sued?” he says.

I roll my eyes and launch myself into his arms, fully committed to this, and enjoying every touch and every skilled movement of his tongue in my mouth.

He places me down on the bed and slowly starts to kiss every inch of me until I’m shivering with pleasure, and desperate for him to take his clothes off.

When he jerks the tie off from around his neck and starts to unbutton his shirt, I scoot forward and help him to remove his dress pants.

After he’s removed every barrier, I pull him on top of me and keep kissing him until I can’t stand it anymore.

Just when I’m about to beg him to get in me, he grabs my wrists and pins me to the bed as he starts to kiss my breasts.

He works his way down, leaving me gasping and writhing from the feel of his lips on my skin.

As he pushes my legs apart, he runs his hands down my body and starts to kiss my pussy, then starts to use his tongue like he’s French kissing my clit.

“What are you doing?” I pant.

He looks up and frowns. “Want me to stop?”

I shake my head. ‘Don’t you dare.”

With a chuckle, he returns to tonguing me so exquisitely I’m riding a wave of an orgasm so intense I feel like I’m immersed in a pool of liquid warmth.

I twist the sheets in my hands and moan as he doesn’t let me catch my breath before he shifts up to my side.

His hand trails down my stomach and slides between my thighs. “You have a beautiful pussy. Anyone ever tell you that?”

I wrinkle my nose as I think about Adam’s reluctance to go down on me, and the other useless men I’ve been unlucky enough to share a bed with. “No one spent that long down there,” I say.

He growls. “Like I said. You’re with the wrong guys.”

I slide my hand behind his neck. “And you’re the right guy?”

His hands caress my breasts, and he rubs at my nipples until they’re hard little nubs, and I’m quivering on the bed. “I’m going to be.”

I close my eyes and try to imagine a life where Ryder isn’t a part of it. But I can’t. And it’s not because his hand is now rubbing my slippery clit and he’s kissing my neck.

I’m so wet, his finger keeps slipping. “Your pussy is talking again,” he says.

I laugh and grip his hard cock, and slide my fingers over his tip until he’s as creamy as I am.

I roll on top of him and position myself so I can lick the jizz off his tip. When he moans, I slide my mouth over his cock and rub my lips over his tip.

Using his moans as a gauge I work my way down, licking and sucking watching his face contort, and listening to his moans growing louder until he’s as wet as I am.

I’m enjoying myself so much, I’m prepared to keep going, but he grabs my shoulders and shakes his head. “Get on top of me.”

I don’t hesitate, I straddle him and slide his cock inside me, gasping as his girth fills me.

I rock back and forth, his hands traveling over my skin until I feel his cock hit my G-Spot.

I gasp as pleasure shudders through my pussy, sucking the air from my lungs and making me ride him faster and faster until I’m riding the wave of bliss so strong, tears sting at my eyes and I feel like I’m having an out-of-body experience.

I come screaming, my entire body overtaken as I come so hard, I’m shuddering and in danger of passing out.

The second I’m finished he flips me over and pushes his cock inside me again.

Every nerve ending seems to have come alive, his touch heightening the pleasure building again as my body responds to his touch.

I dig my nails into his ass cheeks as he fucks me so hard, I’m enveloped in a fog of another climax that releases a string of nonsensical words.

Just when I think he can’t get any more intense, he grips my chin and holds me steady as he pumps. “I’m going to treat you so good, you’re never going to do this with another guy.”

I whimper, so deliriously aroused I just slap his ass. “Why the hell would I want to? Now shut up and make me come again,” I pant.

He moans and keeps pounding me until I watch his face contort and his entire body goes into spasm as his climax overtakes him.

When he’s done, and I’m completely and thoroughly satisfied, Ryder rolls off me and pulls me into his arms. “If you’re committing to this, we can’t do that again for a while.”

A little of the buzz of incredible sex dissolves and I look at him. “Who says we can’t?”

He sighs. “I’m going to need all the help I can get. So, no sex until after the fight.”

As an entire month flashes before my eyes, I must look so horrified, he laughs. “We still have tonight.”

“What happens in the morning?”

He pulls a face. “I try not to think about your tits or you sucking my cock.”

I snort a laugh. “And what am I supposed to do? Get a vibrator?”

His eyebrow lifts. “You do whatever you need to. We’ll have to get creative.”

I’m not entirely sure how I feel about having to get creative, but when he nibbles my earlobe, I moan. “No oral?”

He chuckles and props himself up on his elbow. “Is your pussy talking again?”

I smack his shoulder and sigh as I think about a month without the best sex I’ve ever had in my life. “Yes. And she’s not happy.”

He looks so completely relaxed when he chuckles it’s obvious Jake’s death, however unplanned or unwanted it was, has freed him from more than a contract.

Whoever I thought Ryder was, he’s most definitely not the complete and utter bastard, I thought he was. He was in an impossible situation.

I may never understand the complexity of his relationship or the level of betrayal he experienced with Jake, but I do know that despite everything Ryder isn’t the man I thought he was.

He kisses my neck and rolls on top of me. “It’s going to be tough. I won’t be able to see you that much in the next few weeks, and if we’re together, you’re going to be under the microscope as long as I have to promote this fight. You sure you can handle this?”

I wrap my arms around his neck and think about all the men I’ve dated and hoped for a future with.

None of them made me feel the way Ryder did, and never really fitted into my life, or wanted to fit.

None of them made me laugh, or made me want to slap them, and none of them are men who made me come so hard I forget my address.

But more than any of that, after thinking I’d never see who he really is under the mask he wore, Ryder’s not only removed it, but he’s laid himself wide open and is offering me more than the commitment I thought I wanted from Adam.

Warmth settles in my chest and spreads throughout my body as I begin to see how right Cindy was about him.

I smile. “I’m sure,” I say.

A wicked smile appears as he runs his hand around the back of my neck. “I was prepared to fight you,” he says.

I punch his shoulder gently. “You don’t need to fight me,” I say.

He kisses me softly before he smiles. “Maybe not. But I will do whatever it takes to fight for us,” he says.

The End