14
Lazzaro had already arrived home, he was pacing back and forth feeling as if his mind and heart were against him. Did he suddenly have no more control over himself? It was unacceptable, but a fact.
He went to the corner table and poured himself another glass of whiskey, he had already drunk more than six. He leaned against the table and raised the glass to his forehead, not knowing what to do. He knew he liked her, he was sure when he felt very jealous to see her together with Hayden again, he also knew he was being selfish. Since he couldn't, couldn't anyone else? That was what he asked himself all the time.
He came to, hearing the sound of someone knocking on the door. He went there and opened it, seeing Lia's beautiful face broken in sadness. It hurt him a lot to see her like that, it was the same look he saw in her when he found her crying the day they met.
- I wanted to talk to you. - she said avoiding looking at him, she also came back with the formal " sir".
The man was confused.
- In between.
There was a small rug near the door that made her trip and fall into Lazzaro's arms, thus spilling all the drink on him.
- Oh my God! I'm sorry. She looked mortified at his wet, expensive suit.
I was embarrassed because I just wanted to tell him I was leaving and not embarrass myself by getting him dirty.
- You can let me clean and then even wash your suit if you want. - Desperate she ran to the bathroom and grabbed a towel.
Lia came close to him, rubbing frantically over his suit, tie and shirt. He was almost crying with nervousness but he didn't.
She felt his chest stiff under her hands. Lázzaro continued in silence watching her without reaction, the intense gaze on her that she felt even not looking at him. And then suddenly he grabbed her wrists making the towel fall to the floor.
Lia gasped at the electric touch on hot skin.
- Lia, there's no need for that. And even if I'm enjoying it a lot, it doesn't matter. It's just an outfit.
She froze, was forced to look into his eyes and her heart hammered like crazy inside her chest. The sensation almost made her fall over, she hadn't known being in love was this intense.
What did he say? Oh no. Please don't let him start teasing me again and leave me with that aching feeling inside.
She almost ran from that room, but she still needed to talk to him and had to maintain her maturity.
- I need to talk to you... - He tried to pull his wrist from the grip that became stronger.
Lazzaro was out of control and so were his actions, again the alcohol doing things for him like the day of the towel.
Panic began to rise in Lia's throat when she couldn't break free. She gasped, startled to feel her body on fire from his strong, possessive touch.
Lázzaro with his wickedly handsome face approached Lia's face, his eyes moved from her full lips to her smooth and fragrant neck. He was horny and drunk, that was always a bad combination for him.
He lost control of his actions, which always led to eternal regret.
- You can talk... - he whispered looking into her eyes.
- I-I - she swallowed hard realizing she was wet with those attitudes - I'll be back some other time.
He tugged at the arm that wasn't released.
- You didn't want to talk to me, Lia? - he asked in a thick voice - Can you talk... Or are you afraid of being alone here with me? - she felt the breath of the drink and knew it wasn't him.
Yet the soft voice sent delicious shivers down the young woman's spine. Was it normal to feel so agitated being treated like this? It was her biggest question there.
- Don't be ridiculous... We've been alone other times. I just don't think I should stay now, you're not you this time. - murmured.
He tried unsuccessfully to convey a non-existent tranquility.
If he could hear my heartbeat right now, he'd know that I'm almost melting with heat with him doing this to me. Squeezing my wrist and speaking whispered words. But I know it's just the drink.
Lazzaro laughed, pressing himself a little closer to Lia's body, which was on fire, every nerve ending. The man breathed in her scent, the delicious, intoxicating scent to his nostrils.
He bent his face down until it was level with her left ear, she concentrated only on breathing properly, her grip on her wrist a little tighter as he breathed in her scent.
Chills broke out all over the girl's body who moaned involuntarily biting her lip then extremely embarrassed.
- Oh my... - The breath of the hot voice tickled her neck.
- Lazzaro... What are you doing? - her voice barely audible.
- Do you want me, Lia? - the soft voice almost in a whisper - Tell me, tell me if you want me... - Her panties almost came down from being so wet that she was.
She could be a selfish woman for the first time and act like a man, taking advantage of the situation he was under the influence of alcohol and having something with him, but it could never tarnish his character, although this was often useless since no one valued it. .
- I want. I want you, but not like this... - she replied softly, almost hypnotized.
The proximity each time made the girl's head spin, she could barely think straight.
But I needed to. Then I said the only thing that could make him come to his senses.
- I'm leaving. - She said so calmly that it left him perplexed.
He blinked in disbelief as if the alcohol had magically worn off.
He chuckled humorlessly when he realized he'd been distressed by a silly thought.
She is just referring to leaving the room.
When there was no response, she repeated the phrase, rephrasing it.
- I'm leaving your home and your life in peace. - the tone calm, but sad.
Lázzaro was surprised, he looked at Lia with an incredulous smile when he got a little closer to her.
- What are you saying? - he asked even though he already knew what it was about.
- That I will no longer live here with you. I'm leaving your house and your life. - he repeated confidently.
- You can't leave! he shouted angrily.
- I'm on my way. I just stopped by to let you know. My things are already packed, if you'll excuse me, I need to go now... - She pushed his chest and he didn't move.
- Why do you want to leave, Lia? Don't have everything here? Where you go? Back to the streets? Ask for alms? - he questioned excitedly.
- I have somewhere to go. Don't worry about that. Let me through, please. - she begged feeling the heat of his body so close that the smell invaded her nostrils.
- I do not want you to go. - he whispered.
- But you don't have to want to. I'm sorry, I've already made up my mind.
The sentence shook him so that his body went limp and Lia managed to leave the room.
- Leah! - he shouted going after her reaching her and grabbing her thin arm - You won't.
I felt despair at that moment and did not understand where such desire to make her stay came from.
- What's the difference between me being here or not being here? You yourself kicked me out the other day telling me not to approach you again. It's the same thing to be here and not be able to talk to you as not to be here. - she vented with the tears stuck in her throat causing a pain.
- You do not understand. If you have it here, I can hear it at least from afar, I know it's fine. But if not, how do I find out? - her heart almost cried with what he said.
It seemed like he cared so much, even though he didn't show it most of the time.
- Care about me? - he nodded - Then let me get closer to you... - she asked putting her hand over his.
He shook his head.
- I can't. Please understand that if I let you get close to me, you'll start to develop feelings for me, like you said you like me. I can't let you get attached, I can't. - there was a lot of pain in his voice and Lia noticed.
His gaze was dark and lost, he was in so much pain. It seemed that there was only a piece measuring a grain of rice left of his heart that was capable of feeling something different for Lia, for the beautiful and sweet young woman that he fought against all his strength to keep away. For her sake.
Suddenly a man so full of life and dreams was dying little by little, he knew he had a year or less to live and it gnawed at every second that he remembered his illness, it was something so unexpected that it took him by surprise taking the ground, destroying everything around him, leaving him alone in the midst of unresolved and hopeless chaos.
- And I can't stay, because it hurts to be so close, but at the same time so far away. - he decreed and left.












