Chapter 15 False Hopes
There will always be a time in your life when you desperately ask for something but you will never have a grasp of it. Because as cliche as it will be, some things are not meant for you no matter how much you want it. The only thing that matter is how you accept the reality.
There's this immense silence in his car. I really want to ask him a lot of things but my head is throbbing so bad. My muscles aches and my nose are kind of runny now. It's Thursday, and I still have a day to survive our hell week. Then after all of this, I have to suffer for our finals and I'll be free.
"I'll bring you to the hospital."
"No."
My head was pressed against and gently banged on the backrest of his car due to its function on the potholed road of Mar De Vena.
"I must."
I swallowed and felt the pain in my throat but still, I opened my eyes to see him.
"All I need is rest."
What will the Solidads say when I am hospitalized again?
"Then I'll call the Doctor."
He looks straight ahead and his eyes are dark. I turned around quickly, my eyes widening wanting to complain about what he said.
"Levi,"
I can't explain further because I don't have the strength for that. I'm silently wishing for him to understand what I want to say. I saw him blink a few times and for a few seconds he said nothing.
I could see the road to the Solidads mansion. I secretly thanked him because I was finally able to rest. I thanked him when he opened the door beside me, I didn't even notice that he was already there and when he came out. I don't know, I always have this feeling that my surroundings are dark whenever I get sick. He snatched my bag from me and I didn't know what to look for. He was wearing a formal attire and was carrying a bag. It was as if he had picked up his younger brother. I chuckled.
"What's so funny Ava?" He said holding the door open. I just smiled at him and continued walking and passed him. I saw Mother Celia peek into the entrance and her gaze shifted to Levi. I can only imagine Nanay Celia's thought about how cute he looks right now. Mother Celia greeted me and when her skin touched mine she was stunned.
"Oh Cyreese! You're burning."
"I'm fine, Celia. I just need a break."
I assured her. Her eye worried and it shifted to the person behind me. I could see the change in her eyes, her earlier recollection replaced by astonishment but restraining herself from asking any more.
"Hey, rest in your room and I'll deliver you the medicine."
I nodded and he left and went to the kitchen. Silence was deafening when she left. I turned to see him. I can't believe he's still here. His eyes were blank. I can't see anything from it.
"Thanks. I'm going to rest."
I reached for my bag he was holding now but he avoided it from me. He didn't say anything. Instead, he guided me to the stairs and I realize, is he going to take me to my room? I didn't have the strength to talk to him anymore. So until we got to the room none of us were silent. I could feel his eyes rolling around the room.
"You rest, I'll call the doctor to check on you."
He dropped my bag on the chair of my study table. I opened my mouth to contradict him butno words have left in me. Is he still going to insist that?
"You got me worried sick for days Ava, and now this is where I'm going to come to you?"
I bowed to what he said and none of my own played with my hand.
"You got me worried too."
I bit my lip for that words escape. Is he mad because I'm sick? Then why he's still here? Shouldn't I be the one to get angry because he left? No, both my conscience and I know that there's nothing I should be mad about.
What right do I have and why should I be angry? I think I'm going crazy. This virus is making me insane. Now you're making this virus as an excuse, really Ava? His sighed just now and it was heavy. It was as if he was having a hard time because of what I said. He took a few steps to get closer to me. My heart is beating so fast when he lifted my chin making our eyes meet. I look at his eyes, full affection.
The moment I laid an eye on him, is the moment I realize how far we are at each other. The more I realize my imperfections and my flaws adore this man so much. The moment I know that I should not let my guard down because this one is too much to ask. Way, way more too much.
"I'm sorry."
He whispered just enough for me to here.
"I'm sorry if I got you worried, I had to go abroad for some business deal that's why."
I'm not sure why he's telling me that. Is it okay for me to hear that? But somehow, I feel at ease. I nodded at him because I wanted to hear from you. I didn't ask for his explanation and he's casually doing it. It was as if my heart was tickling with his stares at me.
It was different, it feels like something have given up on him to make him look at me this way. I avoided looking at him because I felt I could no longer handle it.
"So now, even if you insist,"
He adjusted his posture and his palm covered my entire cheek.
"I'll call a doctor to check on you, because my Ava is sick."
My heart beat went crazy, it wanted to get rid of the excessive feeling. I must have been gone crazy, aren't I? Her eyes were very sharp and a small smile reflected on her face. I held his hand over my face and nodded. If I'm dreaming right now, I wouldn't wake up.
Not with him, not now. Even now I feel like I'm being given destiny. I brushed his hands lightly while ceasing the moment. My heart was pounding and everyone was trying to feel it.
"I'll call Mr. Gonzales."
He stroked my cheek a few more times and let me out. I followed the look as the door closed. I grabbed my head and tried to process everything. My head is throbbing and I'm dizzy. From what? It was no longer a disease but because of him.
I don't want to get false hopes. Is he like that to everyone he meets? But why did he go to the coffee shop? Did he know I was there? I clung to the chair in extreme frustration.
I took a warm bath to ease the tiredness of my body. I can't sleep at night if I don't take a bath so I believe my fever will go away afterwards. All I need is rest, I'm sure of that. Wearing a nightgown Ate Celest had given me I lay down on my bed. I was not able to comb my hair because I felt like I was going to fall to my feet.
I feel like my whole world is spinning and I'm having trouble breathing because of the blockageg nose. I wrapped myself in the thick comforter and regretted my decision to take a shower. I seem to be feeling even worse.
"Why would he bring her, here?"
"Mom, can we just shush about this? He asked for this favor."
"But we don't know what future lies ahead of this girl. What if we get involved in their trouble?"
I opened my eyes to the voices I heard. I can feel a weight on me and I realized it's a large fluffy blanket. Where am I?
"Shush mom, she's awake."
I looked around and saw the high ceiling and bright light immediately. It was plain white and I even thought I was in the hospital. I can't remember anything, apart from the strong lightning and thunder last night I don't remember anything. I saw a middle aged woman in wine colored night gown and a young looking woman near me.
I met her eyes and I immediately woke up to realize I didn't know where I was right now. I ignored the pain of my head and the weight of my feeling.
"W-who are you?"
I was first struck by the sight of an elderly woman with her arms crossed and looking at me. She look classy in her night gown.
"I'm Celestine Solidad, and she's my mom."
My gaze shifted to the woman who spoke today. Her eyes are gentle and her skin is very smooth. Solitude? Who are they? Why am I here? Why did I come here?
"Mom and dad?"
I immediately looked around the room and looked for the photo of mom and dad. I removed the thick blanket that was lying on me and the woman who introduced me just now stopped me.
"Your things are in there. I suggest you rest, you have a fever."
I looked at the table he pointed to and saw there my bag and Mother's picture. I didn't look at him myself and the smile on his lips still lingered. His mother sneezed so I shifted my gaze there.
"Eat first. I'll send you food here so you can take the medicine."
He got up from sitting on my bed and hurriedly pulled his mother out. Where in the world am I?
"Ava,"
"Ava,"
I opened my eyes and saw the high ceiling and the bright light. It was like a Deja Vu, this is also how I feel and I first saw it when I found out I was here in Solidads.
I looked at the source of that whisper and there, I saw him sitting on my side of the bed and slightly bent over me. I think he woke me up earlier. Is it morning already? But why is the whole room still dark?
"You need to eat, and drink your meds."
I saw his side and I saw a tray of food there and a glass and pitcher of water. Why is he still here? I wanted to ask him but I was afraid he could answer me. Isn't it better if I just let the water go flowing? And ultimately Ava what? I forced myself to stand up and when I did I realized I felt even worse.
I could feel him sneering at my gesture and seemed to be prevented from speaking what. I saw a bowl on the tray sitting on the chair and before I could reach it he had already done so.
"Let me."
"Hmm-hmm."
He shook and gently stirred the soup and blew it lightly. I smiled looking at him. This is my first time looking at him at this view. Far from his serious face in the office whenever he works.
Now I can't believe he's here in my room. He scooped upa spoon there and brought it to me. Solids came to my mind for a moment.
"I'm Levi, I'm not paralyzed."
I grabbed his hold but he kept it away.
"No. Please."
He pleaded. I saw his expression darkened and I was nervous there. I felt awkward opening my mouth eating the soup in front of him and it was really like he was still trying to seduce me.
"Mr. Gonzales said you should rest until you get better."
I didn't get what he said for a moment, so I was stunned. It must be the doctor he was talking about. Has the doctor been here yet?
"You've stressed yourself too much."
He said and brought a spoonful of soup to me again.
"Manang Celia said you always came home late. And why is that?"
His eyebrows rose and the density of them became more pronounced.
"Work."
I said after swallowing the broth drawing in my throat I felt swollen. He cocked his head waiting for me to elaborate what I just said. He didn't hear anything from me so when he put the bowl back on the tray I knew what he was going to say.
"You are supposed to study. Not to work Ava."
He said emphatically. I immediately shook my head at what he said to defend myself.
"Our finals coincided with a crowded coffee shop so maybe I was tired. I just needed a break."
"You over worked yourself. You're not coming back to your work."
His lips are in flat line as he hands the water to me. I wanted to tell her something more, but my door rang and Mother Celia left. Carrying a thermometer and medicine on a saucer.
"Here's the medicine Sir."
To Levi he said that but he thought it was up to me. I bet she's curious about this man beside me. I held my breath realizing it would get to the Solidad.
"Thank you."
He simply said and Mother Celia left without a word. I wonder when will the Solidad come home? A few weeks have passed and they still can't come back here except for.
Ate Celest who came home here last week. I don't even want to think about it right now. My mind was too pre occupied.
My temperature was 39 degrees and that's when I realized that my condition was really bad but I still wasn't worried. Because like the pains I have experienced before is that if I just let it rest right away and I go to bed early I am sure I can still get in tomorrow.
I don't know what time Levi will say goodbye when he comes out of the room and I haven't checked on him yet, because I feel bad and I fell asleep in bed. I fainted and felt my whole body tremble.
Seems like the thick blanket that wrapped me was missing. I could feel the rotation around me even though I was closed. I heard the faint sound of the aircon as if someone had turned it off. I'm way-way to sick to even open my eyes. I felt the bed sink to my right.
"You're shivering."
I feel like I'm sweating so much yet I'm feeling too cold. What is happening to me? I felt a warm hand caress my head and gently stroked it back and forth. Gradually I felt calmer and I was pulled back to sleep. I woke up again but unlike the last time, I felt lighter.
I'm sweating so much because of the added comforter on me. I was about to remove it when I realized someone was holding my palm. I was so nervous at the thought of another nightmare but when I saw the owner of that hand I feel at ease.
What is he doing here? He was still wearing the plain shirt he was wearing last night as he bent down and sat on the chair of my study table. Both of his hands were soft enclosing my small hands with his. I keep my smiles from flashing at me at the thought that he has been watching over me here all night. His hair was a bit messy but it was still pleasant to look at.
I just restrained myself from touching her hair because I was afraid she would wake up. I looked out my window and there was still no sunlight there but I could already hear the moans of birds and other animals outside so I was sure it was dawn. I slowly removed the blanket above me with my left hand, avoiding creating a reason for him to wake up. But before I could even remove it he had already raised his head. I was shocked and left on the air what was being done. H.
is eyes were blood shot and it didn't seem like he had slept in a long time. I felt guilty looking at him. Without saying a word he brought his palm to my forehead. I follow the look on his face frowning and obviously sleepless. How can he look so expensive even though he looks like this now?
Oh, I probably look like a mess right now. I can feel the redness on my face as I imagine how embarrassing I look now.
No words came out of his mouth when one of his hands removed his grip on my hand and he picked up the phone he had just landed next to our two hands. My heart felt sad at that but ...
"Yes Doc, I'm sorry to call you this early. She's way more okay than last night but she's still sick. Can I bring her to the hospital?"
He frowned at the speaker as one of his palms caressed his face.
"Okay. Thank you."
"You still need to rest. I want to bring you the hospital but Mr. Gonzalez said there's no need for that."
I didn't nod on my own because I was scared of him now, his eyebrows met and he seemed annoyed with what he was talking about.
"Should I call another Doctor?"
He whispered to himself.
"Levi, I'm okay."
He shifted his gaze to me again and I saw his hard expression calm down a bit.
"I'll go downstairs to get you some breakfast. You need to drink your meds."
It's like last night that's what he did and now it's happening again.
"I-I can go down. I feel fine and I still have to go in because I have to pass something."
I completely removed the blanket that was lying on me.
"No." He said it promptly. I immediately straightened my long hair and placed the curls behind my ear.
"But I have to pass that on now."
I lowered my feet to the bed as I stared at him. I can't give this up. If I can't pass that now my hard work will be wasted.
"I'll do it. Ava, you're risking your life just for that."
He stood up and I was nervous about his attitude because of his violent turning away from me. I looked up at him and my gaze followed behind him. He can't understand that.
Education, that's the most important thing to me. That's just my way for everyone. Even the smallest thing matters and he can't understand that. Maybe he also noticed my silence and thought to me again. His expression fell stiff as he turned toakin. He averted his gaze and I saw the bump on his throat move.
"Don't come down. I'll get your breakfast."












