Chapter 16 Baby

All my thoughts are left hanging in the air. The week went by so fast. I don't know where my feet have been stepping into. That day I was not able to enter and my illness continued until Saturday.

Still, Levi was there but not all the time. There are times when he leaves and I don't know where he is going because I don't have the obligation to know that. Sunday I feel better. I did not see even a shadow of him in the whole mansion. I don't know if I just didn't really catch up because I was in the coffee shop all day and he really wasn't there.

"Hija, I didn't know that you and Ser Levi were close."

Nana Celia asked me one day that I was eating at the table alone. I saw Levi coming, and going straight up the stairs. So I just followed him with my gaze. He's kinda busy, a few days already. I also don't know what to say to Nanay Celia.

"Not really Nana Celia."

"Okay. You were taken care of when you were sick! And really if you can't see the concern in you! Stay up all night and goes back and forth to your room!"

I winced at Nana Celia's tone. I can't pinpoint what she's tryna 'say. But in the back of my mind I want to laugh at what he said? He really did took care of me.

"Sir Levi is very kind. He just looks really rude."

He said and gulped down his food again. I smiled at what she said. He look so intimidating the first time I saw him, no, every time I saw him. It's like every time you face him you have to do everything without a mistake otherwise he will criticize you.

But no, he's gentle in his own ways. I wonder if everyone sees him the way I see him. Cause for me he's beyond perfect. That word is not enough to justify him.

"So Celestine and him are perfect."

My mind and mouth shut at the same time. I looked at Mother Celia, it seemed that I was the only one affected by what she said.

"Sir Levi will also be a good brother to you. You see, he even took care of you."

I finally let go of the cutlery I was holding and was still waiting for what he would say next but it didn't happen. It seemed like he was pulling the trigger on everything I wanted to think about.

Questions I want to have answered. It's been circling around my mind these days. I don't want to give meaning to whatever Levi is doing to me but half of me knows that I'm secretly hoping for something. These past few days I don't seem to know myself anymore. This is not me. Ava wouldn't let her guard down like this. Never.

But I, my heart, made it clearly to me the moment Levi left. For that 5 days I know exactly what I wanted. I wanted him around, his companionship, his presence. All of him. I poked my head at the office door I was sure he was there. He stood seriously in front of the table with both hands raised and stared at a large blue print lying on the table.

He didn't notice me so I just kept going inside. From his serious figure now I could see its relief. He smiled and so I did. I hugged my sketch book and hurried to sit down in front of the table. I saw him immediately retreat to the blue print and sit up from standing.

"Are you still busy with your work?" He looks kinda stressed but it doesn't even lessen his pleasantnessappearance. He's still looking like a well fine man.

"Kind of. How 'bout you? Aren't you busy with your school?"

I followed the twitch of her lip. I just shook my head at what he said.

"We're done with our last exam." I also can't believe it because my graduation will happen in a few weeks. We really need to finish our philosophy requirement and our group's problem will end. Next month I will be going to college. little by little my plans would begin. I opened my sketchbook and started drawing.

"Are you still working in that coffee shop?"

I looked at him for a moment and saw that he was doing nothing now and was just looking at me.

"Hm-hmm."

I just nodded at him.

"Are you happy working there?"

I bit my lower lip because of focusing too much on the part that I shinade well. I'm not drawing a structure now but a few visual designs. I've tried that since Levi showed me samples of visual techniques. I find it hard of course, it's not my forte but I'm giving it a try anyway. I can't think of anything to do now so that's all I can do with my hands.

"It's fun. Because I know a lot of people and I'm not bored there anymore."

"Are you bored here?"

I just nodded to continue to carefully shading the narrow part of my design.

"Why don't you bring your friends here then? Girl ... friends."

"Hmm?"

I looked at him for a second and turned my attention back to what I was doing, I'm eager to finish this so I can show it to him. I heard her squeal and she moved briefly in her chair.

"I mean, your friends. The girls I saw before."

"Ah! Are they Mariel you're saying?"

He just pursed his lips and estimated what I said.

"They're not my friends. Only Jomar talks to me."

I was suddenly sad at that thought. I thought we had no problem.

They are not bad for me but I am also not blind to see that they are only forced because Jomar wants me in their group.

"Jomar? That boy is your friend?" I nodded again.

"And why is that?"

I stopped shading and cocked my head, thinking of what could be answered to him. "Because he's kind to me and he always talks to me, he doesn't leave me alone and he's also happy to be with me."

I looked at him after that statement. I waited for him to answer but he didn't say anything because he just stared at me while he was playing with his lower lip so I went back to drawing.

"Really? Is that so?"

"Hmm-hmm."

"Uhm, he also asked me if he could flirt."

It's okay. I feel comfortable confiding in him. I feel that he will understand what I am telling him. He's way older than me so I know he'll understand.

"Wild?"

His voice made sure it will be heard in the whole room. Pout and nod.

"He's asking for courtship when in fact he can only do what? Play house-to-house?"

He chuckled. But I fell asleep with annoyance so I turned to him. I'm curious again if he's mad. What does he say house-to-house? Maybe Jomar doesn't play like that anymore. My eyes were curious looking at him while he's looking pissed looking at the ceiling. What did I just say to make him mad again?

"And what did you say to him?"

His eyes were sharp.

"I'm not ready for that yet. "

"Uh-huh?"

I swallowed at the coldness of his voice.

"A-and friendship is all I can give him."

He folded his hands and brought them to his mouth as if kissing it. I always see him in this order whenever he seriously focuses on something.

"Is that all? And what did he say after that?"

"It's okay and he'll wait."

I averted my eyes from him because my heart was beating faster again with his sharp stare at me. I don't want to apologize even though I don't know what my sin is. His laughter exploded throughout the room so my whole being stopped and I looked at him in astonishment.

Only now have I seen him like this, it only lasted a few seconds and the last moments of it didn't really sound fun. His eyes were not happy at all then why is he laughing?

"What does he know about the word waiting? You're way to young for that."

His eyes were cold and his words are clear. I understood it so well that it was as if a dagger had pierced my chest and I was dumbfounded by what he said. I know I'm not ready for that kind of relationship. I know I'm young. I know.

"I know."

I whispered to myself. I quietly continued my drawing and ignored him again. Maybe I just looked ridiculous in his eyes. He's a man. If anyone knew more about the relationship he was talking about it was him too. I can only imagine him and Ate Celest being in a relationship. They're in the right age. They are both professionals and privilege. They were right next to each other.

"I'm just saying that, you're not ready for that Ava."

"Yes, I know. I can't really go into relay because I'm young."

I sniffed at the word that came out of my mouth. For some inexplicable reason I was like a child not allowed to play outside because I couldn't sleep at noon.

"And you, you can now. Because you're at the right age. I'm sure a lot will suit you and you also know the word waiting."

I put more emphasis on shading so I cut off the tip of my pencil. I can feel my shoulders weakened.

Why does this pencil of mine also give? I heard Levi's violent sigh. He stood up in his chair and I remained bent over what I had done, wondering if I would get another pencil in my room and not come back or just let it be like this so that I could stay here longer.

I felt him turn around the table and go in front of me. I didn't look at him and I might look ridiculous to him again. He took the pencil in my hand and replaced it with a new one. He exchanged an expensive pencil for it. Its tip is sharp and obviously not very used.

"Why? Do you like him?"

I restrained my snout and still shook my head while looking at my work.

"Then why do you look disappointed?"

Why? Is it because he said I was too young for the relationship? Or because he woke me up more to the fact that my desires were far from the possibilities. He's a bachelor or maybe he's not. And I'm just this 17 years old girl in Mar De Vena. It's true what Mother Celia said that Ate Celest and I are very close. They are at the right age for that. And I was just a kid in his eyes.

"Please say something."

He sighed. I look athim and pushed a smile. I can't explain the look at his eyes. There seems to be sadness here and unrest. Kind of desperate or is it just me?

"Jomar and I are just friends as well as Oli. My education is my priority."

I thought he would reciprocate my smile but his eyes remained wide and stared at me. His button down white long sleeve was a one button open exposing a part of his chest. I was surprised when he brought his chair closer to me and placed one hand behind my seat. Our knees collided as one of his hands rested on his thigh. It looks like he's locking me in our place now.

"Listen,"

He searched my side before he continued. Deep down I wanted to explode because of his closeness to me. I could smell his familiar scent and I could see him up close. I'm so scared that he's the same to me, what can I smell and look like now for him?

"It's not that you're not allowed for that. It's just that boys like them are not yet capable of their so-called principles and might just take advantage of you if they had their chance."

I nodded and just looked straight at his chest. He's taller than me, so this is the only level I can reach with him. And besides, I can't look at him now. I'm afraid I might convey what I feel.

"It's still your decision. If you feel like it's what you want to do, then okay."

I looked into his eyes because of what he said. It turns out he was reversing what he said and he was letting me do that.

"Though I suggest you don't."

Oh.

"Hmm-hmm"

I just nodded at him and said nothing more. knowing at the end of the day I know that his decision is all I want to do and listen to. It's only been a week and I don't understand anything else. We will just finalize the hard copies of our brochure and we have no problem.

"Cy. Have you eaten yet?"

Jomar asked me as we were here on one of the benches of the school ground. We talked about things that still needed to be done on our project.

"Oh Jomar."

Oli and I met earlier and we ate together in the canteen. Lately, Oli and I haven't seen each other very often, so I've been dating him before because he's quiet and doesn't seem to be on his own. I asked him if he had a problem but he just went back to being cheerful. Maybe he wasn't ready to say that yet. I'll just wait for him to tell me.

"Lourd's really handsome!"

Alicia screamed as she stared at a page of our brochure where Lourd's photo was. The men in our group immediately smirked at him. I picked up a copy of the brochure and moved a few pages.

There are some photos of Lourd Vidalio that we took on the internet, there are also some of his interview answers-we hin him. Lourd Vidalio. 20 years old. His answers to some of our questions were very sparing. It's just like his answer to our question to him about love.

"What is your opinion about the word love?"

"Plain shit."

"Tss."

I winced at his answer. Not only was he rude but so was the shape of his tongue. Is it okay for us to do this as a person? I turned a few pages and saw the picturesor he who wore the uniform of the University of Mar De Vena. The question here is about wisdom.

Where he studied and some awards he got. I don't know if he's really smart because of the photos here and the ones he said he received. Well ...

"Why did you choose to study at Mar De Vena when your family is in Manila?"

This is my question from last time.

"No certain reasons."

I read it over and over. This is not his answer. I still remember his eyes you thought I knew well from head to toe. He looks insulting and I don't like it. Now I am more convinced that God is really fair. How perfectly he made that human figure is how rude his character is.

"After this week let's go to Lagoona!" Leo shouted.

"Yes! This is our last bath in Lagoona for this school year." Said Alicia.

"It's boring there! We're with the others!"

I just quietly flipped through a few more pages of our brochure. We're not even done and they're already planning.

"What if we just go to the sea?"

On the last page is the big photo of all of us with Lourd Vidalio the same day. He is tall and you can see him immediately in the photo because his height attracts attention.

I was next to him and I was also staring at myself intently there. Everyone there smiled while Lourd and I had no expression at all. I wasn't smiling but he looked disgusted with what was happening. I turned my gaze back to the photo. Hmm.

"Yes, we're at the Solidads mansion!"

"Huh?"

Again?

"All right Cy! It's too late."

Jomar elbowed me. I was caught off guard. What else can I do? I can't deny them. I nodded and saw Mariel grin but I wasn't sure because she averted her gaze from the field. After how many minutes we finalized our activities on the brochure. But it still needs Lourd Vidalio's signature.

"On the Friday after the exam I might just go there." Said Alicia.

We just nodded. Alicia really played a big part in our project. We are very grateful to him. The days were fast and I didn't seem to notice it. Even if I burn an eyebrow all day it's okay with me. Every time I come home from the coffee shop the joy of my heart is indescribable.

Some days I would catch up with Levi in his office but other times not anymore. I don't know if he's gone yet or he's already rested earlier. He would always give me lectures and lessons but sometimes, he just let me draw there while he was serious about his work. It's okay with me because I'm glad to see him like that. He fits so much into this field that it seems like his whole life is exactly what he is destined to do.

"Ava."

I once woke up when he whispered to me. I rolled my eyes and the blurred vision was even more blurred but I knew he was the person in front of me now.

"Go to your room so you can rest."

I didn't realize that I had fallen asleep at the table. I was so tired at the coffee shop because I didn't lose a customer that day. I haven't reached him in hundreds of days so when I saw the office open I went to him even though I was tired and wanted to rest.

"Hmm-hmm"

I nodded whilemy eyes are half open. I stood up and felt like I was going to fall because of the drowsiness I felt. I heard him chuckle. Maybe I look ridiculous again now. I can feel him supporting me. I could even feel him fixing my hair as I rubbed my eyes. I snorted and didn't forget to bring the sketchbook and pencil, then without saying goodbye to leave the office.

"Wrong way baby."

I was very drowsy and I was no longer in the right trance to feel the whole environment. All I knew was that I got to my room and slept peacefully that night. Friday, and it's our last day for this hell week that we've been through.

"Guys! Can you go to the center first? I really can't."

Alicia's eyes widened as she said that. Now he is the one affected by the disease. It's also not really a joke that we've been through these past few days.

"I can't be mad at Aunt Maleng now." Mariel.

"I can't either, Alicia, because you said it's up to you. I couldn't say goodbye to my father."

Leo agreed with Oscar. Only now did I find out that they were just together in the same house. Alicia looked sadly at Jomar and me while waiting for what we would say. Me? I looked at Jomar and he looked at me too.

Alicia snorted and I said nothing.