Chapter 20 No one else

I stood up and regardless of what I was wearing still could not be changed. I'm still wearing my black knee length skirt with white lining on the hem and the white polo shirt with my name tag on it.

The loose strands of hair from my loose braid are kind of messy but I did not bother. I wiped the dried tears from my face as if I could wipe them away. Bit by bit the pencil he lent me I walked to my door. T.

he dark corridor opened up to me but the light in the opening of the office door gave little light throughout the hallway. The door opened and I immediately walked over to it. I saw not even a shadow of who. The familiar breeze of air was passing to the open glass door.

Like I always do, I look around the room. The piled up books and papers, the wide table and the main chair in it. I saw again a blue print that I had also seen there for a few days.

A phone and a laptop was place neatly on the table like it always was. Funny how frequent I am here but I wasn't able to memorize every little thing here. Because who am I going to fool? That's not really what I want to memorize. I approached the open glass door more closely. And there, like the coldness of the breezing air, I met those familiar eyes that I haven't seen before.

Those cold, intimidating looks that will make you ask yourself what's wrong with you. His brows are well furrowed and his jaw are well defined. I saw how his serious expression turned into the playful and devilish look he showed earlier outside. I recoiled to feel the speed and strength of my heart beating.

It seemed to be squeezing with the pain it felt making me out of breath. I thought I had planned everything, but here he is and destroying the courage I had built up in myself.

Seeing him and thinking about Ate Celest makes my heart ache more. I have never felt such envy in my whole life, not with her, not with Ate Celest.

Why else would I let myself fall like this? There's no turning back Ava.

"I've waited for you."

His voice shook me into immobility.

My earlier final decision was replaced by a retreat of my feet. I hardened my grip into the pencil that I was holding. The loose hair are now dancing in unison due to the strong air. I can see the sky flicker because of the lightning but it does not create thunder.

Like me, wants to want to explode but has nothing else to show but my weakening myself to him. I swallowed the bulge on my throat but it didn't go away.

"L-listen to what I have to say,"

I could barely recognize my voice in trembling and I had no control over it. His brows shot up. He took a step but it stopped when he heard me. His eyes turned confused. Deep down I thanked him for stopping.

I can't stand it if the two of us are still close. My knees were shaking and I could almost feel my heart pounding all over my body. His forehead furrowed and seemed to tire a mess of what I wanted to happen and estimated all my actions.

"Don't."

He said that and it was as if he was about to spit out the bitterness of its tone. My lips parted when I saw his angry expression.

My whole being grew cold excessively. Accompanied by strong winds hitting the balcony. Is he so ignorant of me? Is that how uninterested you are with me? Am I saying that Mother Celia is right, it is obvious that she only considers me a younger sister, and everything she does for me is meaningless.

Ate Celest is his girlfriend, the woman I consider my sister and I will never be able to hate or betray.

"Something g-got to my news."

That's right and I'll just make an excuse so he won't take pity on me. I don't want him to pity me, I don't want his sympathy.

"Someone got to me too."

He took one step and I took another step back. He seemed to be holding back his patience with what I had done. My eyes grew darker at the nonsense I was doing. I forgot that I can't even break this one.

What happened to his news? Apart from the boring lives I have, I have nothing to hide or share with others. What you see in me ends in me. I took a deep breath and remembered everything he wanted to say.

I remember all the things he has done for me. I remember all the regretful things I wished I've said. How much I miss him every time he's away, every time he's not around even if it's only for a few hours my personality is looking for him right away. I remember all the things he'd taught me and all the advice he'd gave me.

This is maybe the right time to say my gratitude because I don't want to regret all my regrets. I don't. He took another step and I did not hesitate to step back from him. He finally entered the jamb of the wide door.

As he looks now he seems to want to punish me. His shoulder weakened and he looked up and touched the bridge of his nose. I saw his sarcastic smile and immediately lost his gaze on me again.

"Did my brother tell you?" He said.

I bit my lip on his question. Who is he referring to? Lourd? What should his brother tell me.

"I said, listen to what I have to say."

He shifted a bit and I was even more nervous about his willingness to listen. This is really it. So I can finally end this.

Maybe my tears were gone before so I won't cry again now, it's better because I don't want him to see me weak.

"Thank you ... for teaching me the course I want. T-thank you for ... concern and your help to me when needed. Thank you because I had ... to talk to here at the mansion whenever the Solidad and I-I'm so happy every time you praise my works, thank you because I've learned a lot ... Thank you for considering me ... b-brother- "

My throat choked even more at the last word said, not acceptable but I had to say. Tears welled up that I thought I had already exhausted, I bent down and focused on the floor because if I stared into his confused eyes I would not be able to cope.

"I'm sorry s-sometimes you get annoyed with me bothering you when you're n-working ... and I'm also sorry if you're annoyed when I'm with my other friends. Like Oli and Jomar. I'm sorry i-if .. .if ... "

My eyes seemed to be suffocated and blurred completely and it was like a faucet was leaking. I can't go on anymore! Especially when he stepped closer to me.

"Wait."

I raised one hand to stop him and he did the same. My one hand wiped away the tears that are constantly dripping now. I promised myself I won't leave without telling everything to him. This is the latter.

"I'm sorry if ... you have to ... wait for someone like me just so Ate Celest won't get mad at you. I'm sorry."

I chuckled and wiped again my almost indefinite tears.

"Ate Celest and you are really a good thing because ... you are so good to me ..."

My heart ached like a dagger and I bowed down completely because of the weakness of my knee.

"What the fvck are you saying Ava?"

"No!"

I held my chest and with all my might I let go of his grip on my two shoulders and backed away until I could feel the table in the back. I parted the sticky hair on my wet face and forced myself to finish everything.

"I want you to know that ... y-you've been so important to me, everything you've done and taught me. With everything that's happened these past ... days. Levi, thank you." It was like a tendon that broke his patience and he approached me.

His whole built frame embraced my tiny body and violently hit my head on his chest. My two feet were almost lifted off the ground by the tightness of his embrace with me.

His hand is on my lower back while the other is on the back of my shoulders. My sobs could be heard throughout the room. I couldn't recognize myself by the strength of my crying, I remembered the day mom and dad died.

I never thought I would ever hear myself cry like this again. And in his arms that still happens. I tried to push her wide breasts but she didn't move at all. Nothing happened even though I used all my strength to push him. He's eagerly locking me on his arms. His hand rested on the back of my head and I felt his gentle kiss on the top of my head.

"Fvck!"

His curse thundered in the whole room and I cried even more there. I really wanted to release him but here I am and he is imprisoning me now. I clung to both sides of her dress as I realized that I would lose this fight that no matter how hard I tried, she would still win.

"Why the fvck are you sorry for being with me Ava?"

"Let me go-"

"You are never a sister to me! No!"

I sobbed especially at his angry voice. Even my brother couldn't accept me.

"And you don't have to be sorry for being with your friends-"

"But that's what you said!"

I closed my eyes sharply as I looked up at his height. The brightness of the light throughout the room was the only thing clear in my sight. I felt the pain in my eyes at what was done.

Tears continued to flow and the face was wet. His smell is so manly. Even though I wanted to get away I felt like I couldn't do it anymore. I just want to endure this moment. I was afraid I might wake up in a dream. I don't think all of this will happen again. He will never hug me like this again.

His warmth embrace, as if he was terrified of my surrender. It was more than I asked for. Oh God, let me be selfish just for now please. That's enough, I'm satisfied with it, it's okay with me. He muttered some curses under his breath that made my heart hurt even more.

"Damn your goodbyes! If we have a problem we'll talk!"

I didn't answer and forced myself to calm down and keep the sobs from disappearing. I did not answer. But his curses grew louder, I could no longer understand the others there. He exhaled heavily and loosened his grip on me. My breathing was heavy due to self -calming. He cupped my face with his hands to wipe my tears. I don't know if it's gone because every time he wipes there is something new.

"Shit."

He frustratedly said while relentlessly wiping away my tears.

"Damn Celestine. Damn her plans!"

He said angrily and hugged me again. I didn't say what he said and focused on breathing because of the tightness of my chest.

"I'm sorry."

He kept saying that while comforting my back. A few more minutes later we were in that position and then I slowly slipped out of his embrace. The little sobs still come out of me.

He estimated my movements as he gently caressed my hands. He still doesn't let it go. He took me to the main chair of the table and sat me there. He knelt down in front of me and stared at my face and scratched every corner of my face to wipe anything there.

His eyes are roaming my face while I'm focusing only on his. I could see its concern and anger that I didn't know where it was coming from.

"What's bothering you? Please, we won't solve anything if you won't tell me."

I swallowed as he stared back into my eyes. I pinched myself and closed my eyes tightly thinking it was another dream. But when I opened my eyes his hands gently removing my pinching hand to other.

"Stop hurting yourself. What's the problem hmm?"

His voice was so cold and tender that it seemed to pull me away. He crouched just so my eyes and his will leveled. They are burning and dangerous. Contrary to his voice. He's very serious and intense. I shuddered and averted my gaze from his eyes straight to his chest. "

Fuck, baby, please. Damn it, tell me."

He said with so much control, it seemed so hard to convince me. My heart beat went crazy.

"I already told you, t-thank you all-"

He released it emphatically as he bent down but his caress on my hand made me like porcelain that could not be broken.

"That I don't want to have a connection with you again because Ate Celest is there."

I swallowed and he looked up at me again. He raised his hand and stroked my cheek.

"You. You are here."

Trembling my lips he answered again.

"Ate Celest is your girlfriend and I'm always wrong to stick to you-"

"I don't have a girlfriend Ava."

He said politely. My teeth clung tightly to what he said. I don't understand. What does he mean no?

"Please tell me your thoughts. I get scared every time you're like that."