xxix

if i tell you my heart would you understand?

or would you tell me i'm too late and turn me away?

M A D D I E ♛

I know, I know. Kasen told me to wait for lunch time, but I couldn't.

Knowing that Chase was just beyond my reach only if I held my hand out, how could I ever let the chance escape me.

It pained me to see how serious and down he looked. He looks like he hasn't slept well in a while and I hoped that I wasn't the reason.

I left my room right away after putting what little belongings I had with me. Megan was just happy to see a bed.

"I will go out for a while, wait for me, okay?" I ask her while combing her hair.

"You can count on me."

Ah, what an adorable girl. I kissed the top of her head and hugged her happily.

"I'll be back!" I tell her and head out the door immediately.

I definitely saw Chase going towards the kitchen.

Rushing down the stairs, I made my way towards the kitchen where I saw a whole lot of busy people who greeted me. However, Chase wasn't anywhere to be seen.

After greeting them also, I asked if they had seen Chase. They happily pointed that he went out through the back door. So he really must've went by the lake.

I ran towards there even if my memory didn't serve me the best of which direction to take, when I stepped into the forest, I followed Chase's scent.

It wasn't long until I finally saw him. He was sitting in front of the river and seeing him so down was so unusual.

He must've smelled my scent because he turned around and that had me slow down from running.

He had a quizzical look, as if questioning what I was doing here.

I stopped in front of him and took a few moments to catch my breath while Chase stood up to face me.

The wind blowed and my hair slapped my face so I had to tuck it properly behind my ears.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, his tone low and serious, but not hostile. No, Chase wasn't like that.

"I came to find you." I answered him but he seemed to be even more confused.

I took a step closer to him and reached out to hold his hand but just as I held it, he spoke again.

"Maddie, let's not make this harder on each other." he said and now it was my time to be confused. What was he saying?

"No, Chase. I'm here to--"

"I'll do the rejection, I know you want to leave and I won't force you to stay if you don't want to. But just give me some time."

Rejection?

What is he talking about?

And then I recalled what Kasen told me before. The only way out of this mate culture is if you rejected them with saying a few certain words.

The thought made my heart drop and the fact that Chase was thinking of doing it shocked me even more.

"Chase, listen to me!" I say loudly to get his attention.

That did the trick because then he was looking at me and I seemed to have his undivided attention.

My chest was heavy now, all the emotions and thoughts of a month's worth was now catching up to me and all the more, Chase was in front of me now. In flesh.

It wasn't an imaginary Chase that I had to erase in my mind to stop the pain of leaving him.

"I'm sorry." my voice was ragged and I was trying to control the lump that forming in my throat.

"I know I left you hanging in the air, I know I prioritized vengeance and my anger over all of you. I know you just wanted to help me, but I refused it. And I know you told me that you weren't going to forgive me and you probably hate me now or something, but..."

I couldn't help the tears that were flowing by now.

Chase listened intently, his eyes widened.

"I'm here now asking you to take me back."

With slow steps, Chase too a step closer to me, closing the small space between us. He wiped my tears away like he always did, but they kept flowing.

I could see the thoughts that were weighing down on his mind. As I thought, he won't accept me now won't he?

Have I lost him? Would I really have to leave him forever?

The thought was unimaginable, but it wouldn't be far fetched. My chest felt heavy and it was somehow getting harder to breathe and it made me cry some more.

"But if you don't want me anymore--"

"That's nonsense. I'll always want you, you're my mate." he says and it was a light of hope in a hole of darkness. "Maddie, I love you so much that it drives me crazy. I love you enough to let you go if you want to leave."

My eyes widened at his confession. Chase has always shown that he loved me, but to hear it from his lips for the very first time, my heart went crazy.

"I'm not leaving Chase, not anymore. I know I always told you that I was going to leave and continue on with my life as usual but how can I when you changed everything there was in it?"

We stared into each other's eyes for a long time, I could see that he was deep in thought. There might still be a lot of things that was worrying him and I couldn't blame him.

I've given him many reasons to worry so I had to be patient and assure him that he had nothing to worry about now, that I'm really here to stay.

"You don't know how happy I am right now, Maddie, but allow me to ask this one thing." I nodded for him to continue on. "Are you sure about this?"

"I have never been so sure in my life."

Chase was quick to pull me into him and kissed me. My heart was bursting in happiness.

It felt like it was a dream, but the way I was feeling right now and the way Chase kissed me told me that all of this was real.

I am with Chase now and we were never going to part any time soon.

When we were out of breath, he pulled away shortly and was about to kiss me again, but I held him for a while.

"Wait-- I have something to say." I say. Chase tilted his quite a bit impatiently which made me chuckle.

"I love you."

A smile immediately formed in his lips.

"I love you most."

why didn't you ever tell me

of your past full of troubles

and i can carry your burden

alleviate it just a little

M A D D I E ♛

After that day when I got back into the pack and having spoke with Chase, everything else happened so fast. Melanie used to always tell me that when you're happy, time seems to pass so fast and I could understand what she was saying now.

However, it wasn't all happy ending. I had found out that there was a problem with the pack and the rogues and how some were still scared of them because they were rogues.

Now that my problem with Chase was over, it was time to sort out all this mess I created and I already knew it wasn't going to be easy.

Of course, when I made a decision to be with Chase, I also had to think of what the fate of the rogues will be and there was some few scenarios.

If I let them go, not only would that break my promise, but I also couldn't expose them to the danger of the rogue forests. If anything were to ever happen to them because of that, I would never forgive myself.

There was also the encampment beside the pack but if they get attacked again, I may not be able to protect them all again. I don't want anyone to share the same fate as Andrew.

Just as I was having a hard time, Chase came up with a solution.

"How about we integrate them into the pack. There's a total of 24 of them right? They're a bit much, but I believe if they're properly presented into the pack, they will be accepted."

I was surprised that Chase had to be the one to come up with the idea and that he was even proposing me.

What kind of Alpha would happily take in 24 rogues all at once?!

"That's crazy." Owen commented who was also with us in the office.

I had to agree with Owen. It was unheard of, but thinking about it, it was the safest and best option there was.

"Will the pack really accept all of them?" I ask, unsure yet happy at the idea at the same time.

Chase leaned on his chair and shrugged.

"Well of course there will always be a stigma around them because their pack mark has already been crossed off, but it might be possible. As we've seen, most of them are of young age, a lot of them can still train to become pack guards, warriors or even healers. As for the older ones, we are in need of help in certain parts of the pack."

My ears perked up. Chase was really serious about his proposition.

"Actually, I can remove the pack mark that's been etched off." I say.

Owen turned to me and looked at me weirdly. "You what?"

I smiled at him. "Yes, one of the reasons they used to call me as Queen of the Rogues was because I could remove the rogue's mark. If you've noticed most of the rogues that stay with me don't have the rogue mark and their pack mark that's been etched off is also gone."

They thought about it for a while and realized that indeed, they didn't have rogue marks nor were their rogue scent strong. In fact, it was very toned down and they mostly retained their unique scent.

"That's that then. We'll have to hold a pack assembly for them and of course, everything will go through the right process. They will all be investigated." Chase paused and looked at me. "However, if there's anyone of them who committed a heinous crime in their previous pack, we'll have no choice but to turn them away."

I nodded my head in agreement and also confidence because I knew that none of them had that.

At most, the worst crime any of them committed was picking a fight with someone of a higher status and having lost in a challenge, were banished.

And with that, the start of investigation on all the rogues started.

♛

"So you're telling me that this Finn is someone who is possibly the mastermind in all of this and you didn't tell us beforehand?" Chase questioned me.

This time, we were in the meeting room with Cassian and Owen. However, there was also Hannah, Ian, Hazel and Archer through the Voca Orb so we could see them still as if they were here with us.

Hannah looked like she was doing well, her stomach had grown bigger since the last time I've seen her and I was excited for her.

Hazel was still her same lively self and she seems to be having more interactions with Archer now and that made me happy with her. I had truly wanted her to be happy too.

I pouted at Chase. "I had to make sure of things first before telling anyone first."

"Get off her case, Chase." Hazel commented.

"Anyways, I did my best to look this guy up and I came up with a few interesting things." Cassian says which picked my interest greatly.

Come to think of it, Finn and his mom never really did tell me much about their past and I never really asked.

Asking about someone's past in the rogue community just wasn't it. It was a sensitive topic for many and could even cost you your life.

See, a lot of people are still frustrated about their past and whenever they are reminded of it, they will be blinded with rage and throw a fit.

"First of all, information on him and his family was hard to find, as if the Council was hiding it up. Finn Deacons is the only son of Livia Deacon. Does the name ring a bell?"

I could see the collective shock written on most of their faces.

I didn't really understand it but there seems to be a story behind it.

"Livia Deacons? Daughter of Ted Deacons?!" Hazel exclaimed.

Who?

"Bingo! Ted Deacons was the in the second highest position in the Council a few years back. Now you guys might remember that he was social climbing crook who wanted to be the Council Leader.

All was going well for him until his daughter fell in love with a human and was impregnated by the said human. This affected Ted Deacons' reputation how his daughter was not virtuous sleeping with humans and not having waited for her mate. Her father wanted to have the baby killed, but she kept it and ran away with him.

It was only a few years later when the child was born and the family was found living within a small town. The child was of course, Finn. Ted Deacons convinced Livia to come back to the pack seeing that she has fallen ill and weak from being around humans too long.

She agreed to go back right away and the whole family moved into the pack. Everyone thought that everything was fine until a few years later, Finn's human father, whose name is Shane, was brutally killed in front of him and that's when everything goes wrong." Cassian finished his lengthy report on who Finn is.

To say I was stunned was an understatement.

I had no idea that any of this had ever happened to him or to his mom. Well, they never told me about it anyways so there was no way of me knowing, but still. It's quite shocking.

"Did he ever tell you anything Maddie?" Ian asked me. I looked towards him and shook my head because no, I had no idea.

"No, all they ever told me was that they were banished from their pack but they never told me the reason." I admitted.

"Well, the reason is precisely because they both tried to kill Ted Deacons as well as the other pack leaders. They succeeded in killing the Gamma and his wife, it was even reported that it was Finn who singlehandedly killed the Gamma, but they were outnumbered when they were caught and because Livia was still the Alpha's daughter, they were only banished instead of being killed." Cassian finished.

We were all quiet for a moment, trying to just really comprehend the start of all of this mess.

I thought about Finn and Livia and all they taught me as a child. Again, I never thought that even with such a hideous past, they were able to take in and even at the very least, cared for me.

I guess in a way, I could still thank them for taking a helpless child and teaching me to be strong. The more I think about it, I don't I will ever be able to understand why they did take me in.

Wouldn't I just be another burden for them?

"There's a lot of things missing in the story, Cassian." Ian says.

"I agree. Why did they kill Shane and I know that Livia was killed, there were rumours that she was killed by the order of the Council, was that ever known?" Archer questioned.

Wow, he was so straight to the point.

"Gee, give me some time to breathe. I was just about to explain all that." he says. "To say in simple words, Shane was killed because he was too smart and a weirdo. He was a known scientist in the human world and when he came to live with werewolves, well... he started conducting tests.

Most of them were purely unethical and goes against our nature, but the scary thing was that a lot of people were interested in what he made. Seeing the possible threat and the fact that he was a human who defiled the Alpha's daughter, Ted Deacons had him killed, although it's only a speculation it really was Deacons who had him killed.

As for Livia, it was pretty much the same reason. Besides being an Alpha's daughter, one who's a powerful member of the Council at that, she was also a powerful warrior and was very smart that she helped her father in some of his businesses.

Now, take into consideration that these are all rumours, but after they were banished, the Council thought that Livia knew too much and being a rogue who had that much knowledge was dangerous."

Wow, who knew.