xxviii

tiptoe around me,

the smallest sound can break me

M A D D I E ♛

I was panting hard as I ran across the territory. I could sense that the pack guards must be after me now after having noticed that I broke into their barrier, but I didn't really care.

I craved interaction with people I actually know.

It didn't take long enough when I distinguished Cassian's scent drawing nearer and nearer and I stood still to wait for him.

Happiness won me and as I watched him from afar, I breathed deeply, relieved. I could also see that he was surprised at the sight of me, but then he looked just as relieved as I was.

"Is that really you?" he asked when he stopped in front of me and pulled me in for a hug. My lips also reached my ears at the sight of my sibling.

The guards that came along with him had confused looks, but seeing that Cassian was simply hugging me, they let their weapons down.

"I missed you all so much." I confessed, still new with this thing they call honesty.

He pulled away and now, he had a scowling face.

"Why would you go away all of a sudden like that and not taking anyone with you? Did you know how worried we were?" he started scolding me. I think it's my first time ever getting scolded by anyone, but I guess I didn't really mind.

I needed it.

"Mom was sick of worrying and even grandma! And Chase--" he stopped when he said my mate's name. He probably sensed that it would become too much of an emotional topic. Instead, my brother just sighed. "Anyways, let's get you cleaned up. You're a mess." he said.

I looked down on myself for the first time after around two weeks after I woke up at the bank of an unknown river. I was still wearing the same white dress that the moon goddess so kindly clothed me in.

However, it wasn't white anymore. It was much dirty than white.

"Let's go."

I saw his eyes momentarily change colours and I knew that that indicated that he was mind linking with someone from his pack as we walked side by side.

I felt a lot comforted knowing that in a way or another, I was safe and I was in a place I could call home although I've only been here for a short while.

"I'm sorry for coming so suddenly like this." I started, I knew that it probably was already a bother to him especially that he was an Alpha.

I heard him sigh and I immediately felt like I said something that I shouldn't have. Did I say anything wrong?

"You don't have to apologize for anything, Maddie. You are always welcome here, this is your home."

Hearing that made me feel somewhat guilty so I simply nodded again and followed him.

"So were you able to avenge your friend?" Cassian asked out of the blue. Chase must've told him.

I shook my head defeatedly. "No, I wasn't, in fact it almost cost my life."

"What?! Are you okay now? What really happened Maddie?" he bombarded me with his questions.

I took a deep breath before explaining him everything that happened from the beginning.

Of who Finn was, who he was in my life and why he so wanted me to be on his side. I further explained his possible connection with the Strays.

"So you mean to tell me that you went into the lair of the Strays and managed to get out of it alive?"

The way he worded it made me laugh. "Well, I don't think I would've been able to make my way out of it alive if it were not also for the help of the moon goddess."

"Anyhow, I'm proud that you were able to overcome all that, but that worries me even more. Next time, you have us alright? And you even forgot about your mate, Chase looked like he was really hurt."

I looked away, I didn't want to hear of how much I hurt Chase because I could imagine it myself. I wasn't ready to face it.

"How has he been?" I asked despite my brain telling me not to ask.

"Well, Chase is Chase. I suggest you have a good, long talk with him. And regarding this Finn that you were talking about, I will definitely look into that." he said.

As we talked, we arrived at the main pack and I could see my family waiting from afar. At the sight of us, they ran towards us and gave me a tight embrace that I really needed after being alone for almost a month.

My mother was crying and my father looked mighty relieved that I was there with them.

They had asked me tons of questions which I wished I could've answered at once, but we all collectively decided that I needed to take a bath and change first.

The ladies, which consisted of my mother, my grandma and my little sister Megan, all led me to the pack house as it was the closest and readied everything for me. They helped me with everything and I couldn't be any more thankful for that.

Before I even knew it, I was dressed in a green emerald dress that matched my eyes, my red hair braided with black shoes.

"Aren't you the prettiest?" my mother said as she held my shoulders behind me. I stared at the mirror and looked back to her and saw the undeniable resemblance between the two of us.

"Thank you, but I can't stay long. I have to return south." I informed her. The corners of her eyes dropped, disappointed.

"Well, that's alright. But I will have someone accompany you even if it has to be your brother." she was firm on this, I guess she didn't want me disappearing into thin air like I always did.

"I'm so sorry for the trouble."

She sighed before continuing. "I don't know the life you've lived until now and I cannot even imagine it. And I'm sure you've heard this from others before, but we're here for you." she said gently and kissed the top of my head.

That made me feel really warm inside because I could feel their care and concern gushing out of their hearts. And I didn't want to push it away too.

This time, I will return to Chase and even if he didn't want me anymore, I will stay with him.

have you been well?

M A D D I E ♛

Like what I had told my mother, I had to return to Luminare as soon as possible for two reasons. One was for Chase and the other, for the rogues.

Deciding that I was going to fight for our relationship, I knew I was going to give up a lot of things, but strangely, the loss doesn't seem too bad now.

Cassian was with me although I had told him not to countless times. He had a pack to take care of and although I had only recently learned how big of a responsibility an Alpha has, I knew that it was a big risk he was taking every time he went outside his own pack borders.

Megan also came along which earned a strong opposition from out mother, but Megan insisted that she wanted to stay with me and be with me for a while until our dear mother gave up and gave her permission on the condition that she never left my side or Cassian's.

For the moment, she was sleeping at the back.

"We'll be there shortly." he tells me through the loud music that he was playing on the radio.

"Yeah, things are starting to look familiar." I answer.

"Was being a rogue hard?" he asks and we kick off to a look back on my life as a rogue.

We stopped once for gas, but Cassian came back with a few snacks that I had never seen before. I guess it's the kind that humans eat.

There was this long meat in between a long bread with a red and yellow sauce on it and although it looked quite unappetizing, I ate it and surprised that I liked it. The drink that he gave me was gassy and sugary and the way the liquid popped in my mouth shocked me and I almost spat it.

But again, I ended up liking it anyway.

It was only after an hour and a half when I saw the pack's barrier from afar. Gradually the nerve and anxiousness I was feeling before was getting stronger.

So many things went in my mind, so many scenarios of what might happen and all I could really do was lay my head back to the headrest of the passenger seat.

"Are you nervous, sis?" I hear Megan ask from behind. I turn towards her and tried to smile.

"Yes, I am."

Cassian chuckled, knowing that most of my nervousness was because Chase.

"You don't have to be." he tried to comfort but as we were getting closer, those words seemed to be useless.

I guess it was the way I grew up, but I was always inclined to think that everything will turn out for the worse and most of the time, I was right.

Before I knew it, we were already in front of the pack border and there were four guards waiting. After confirming that we were their expected guests, they opened the border and we passed through.

Cassian drove further and as we were getting closer, Chase's scent was stronger than ever.

His scent drove me crazy and gave me peace at the same time. I had yearned for it so strongly after a month of being away from him.

When we rounded through the familiar pack and stopped at the pack house, I saw a few people standing up in front of the pack house and recognized Kasen, Owen and of course, Chase.

My heart went crazy now and I couldn't wait to embrace him, but would he let me?

I froze on my seat and I wasn't so excited to come out anymore. That's until the door opened and Cassian held his hand out to me.

"It'll be fine, Maddie. I can just beat Chase up if anything." he says and that made me smile at the least.

I took his hand and he helped me out of the car.

I suddenly find myself hating the choice of clothes that my mom made. I was wearing a dress that matched the colour of my hair while my hair had this bow in it.

I remember seeing myself in the mirror and thought that it was too much, too... graceful like? And that wasn't me necessarily. And now that I was under the scrutiny of other people, it made me feel conscious.

Or was it only because Chase was there, only a few meters of dash and I could have my arms around him again?

Ah, I must really be crazy now.

"I see the three siblings are here." Owen says as he smiles at all of us. The other pack leaders that were there greeted us also.

I was staring at Chase who only looked at me and curtly nodded as a greeting.

My heart felt like being stabbed with a needle, but instead of one needle, it was hundreds and hundreds all at once.

"Shall we go inside now? Rose, show them to their room to settle down first. Tell the kitchen to prepare some food too." was all Chase said and everyone immediately went to work.

Megan held my arm tightly because she must've felt intimidated, but I only smiled at her, assuring her that everything would be fine.

"So good to see you Maddie!" Kasen comes up to me and gave me a hug. Dejectedly, I returned it to him when he whispered to me. "Near the lake at lunch time, he'll be there."

I perked up and quick nodded at him with a smile.

C H A S E ♔

When I received word from Cassian that Maddie was in his pack and that she was safe, I felt like a heavy load was just taken off my shoulders.

He said that when she came, she was a mess and she looked like thinner than she already was. Apparently she'd been badly injured.

And so while we were waiting for all of them and when we saw the car rounding up and seeing how she descended from the car, I was relieved to see that she was safe and well.

And like the first time I saw her, she stole my breath away and all I could was stand still as I watched her walk towards us.

She was wearing a dress that matched her hair and it complimented her emerald eyes that always appeared when in my head. She looked girlier than she usually was and by usual, I meant almost never.

Damn, didn't Cassian tell me she got injured?

How come she looks more beautiful than the last time I'd seen her?

And then reality hit me. She was going to leave me again anyways. She wasn't going to stay, was she?

It was better not to let myself be attached to her, I will even be the one to reject her when she leaves so she won't have a hard time.

Lizzie still hasn't met her mate yet and she technically is the Delta, I wonder if she still would like to be my Luna?

Ah, that's too troublesome. Our relationship isn't that great to start off anyways.

I could feel that Maddie was looking at me, but I didn't have the courage to look her way although it was torture not to focus on her.

Everyone was talking and it escaped my ears what they were all saying, until it was my turn to say something.

"Shall we go inside now? Rose, show them to their room to settle down first. Tell the kitchen to prepare some food too." I sat shortly and with that, everyone moved.

I nodded towards Cassian, shortly greeting him without words because I just didn't have the mood to and I'm pretty sure he'll understand me.

Maddie's scent was driving me crazy and I had to get away before I did something stupid like asking her to stay or something.

I turned and walked towards the pack house and I knew that everyone followed after me. However, once inside, the helpers were there to guide everyone in their rooms.

From afar, I could smell the food that was being cooked. Everyone was so busy and lively because Maddie was back. Everyone was probably thinking that their Luna is back, but how do I tell them the truth?

'Ah, whatever.' I say finally towards my wolf.

'And what if she wants to stay?'

'Don't keep yourself hoping.' I tell my wolf again.

Frustrated, I found my way towards the back door and started walking.

I started with slow steps, but then I was running and then I found myself by the lake. It wasn't much surprise to me that I ended up here, this is where I always found myself when I needed some time alone to think things through.

I panted and caught up with my breath before sitting down, still trying to keep myself together.

And then that's when her scent fills the air once more and when I turned around, I see Maddie running towards me.