Chapter 107
A lump formed in Kit’s throat. The idea that this accomplished young man, one who’d won many awards for bravery in battle, who had led men, who commanded her guard, was ordered into such a demeaning role by her own mother made her both melancholy and outraged at the same time. Eventually, she managed to say, “You’ve certainly done much more than that.”
He made a small sound in the back of his throat and the trace of a smile pulled at the corners of his mouth before it disappeared. “Thanks to you.”
“Me?” Kit leaned back in the chair, surprised to hear him say that. “Whatever do you mean? I did nothing.”
“You did everything, Kit. You inspired me. You always said I could be whatever I wanted to. You convinced me to try for the army; you chose me to be commander of your guard. Yes, Kit, all that I’ve accomplished, I’ve done so because of you.”
“While I thank you for the compliment, Eli, I’m afraid that’s not the case. You’ve always had motivation deep inside of you, an urge to be more than what you were, what apparently, my mother dictated you would be. I’m certain even if I’d never paid you any mind, you would’ve risen out of these ashes.” She looked around at the space they were in, which was not filled with ash like the floors above them and hoped he still got her point.
He did. “Thank you, Kit. I would’ve told you. I just... didn’t want you to end up in any trouble on my account. She forbid me from telling you anything. The reason I used to bring you here was because I was hoping you’d figure it out. And then, when she discovered you’d been here, she made it clear I was to never come here with you again.”
The idea of her mother threatening him when he was just a boy made that rage fire up inside of her again. She tried to let it go for the time being. “You’ve been here recently, though, haven’t you? This place looks like it’s been kept up some.”
“I have. My father used to come back as frequently as he could escape the barn. This was his secret place, where he could be ‘home’ even though it was never the same after the fire. He never saw my mother again, though my sister did sneak out here a few times to see him before he died.”
Once again, tears threatened. “I knew your mother had scars, but I had no idea how they’d been formed. How is she now?”
“She doesn’t go out often. Her face looks much better than one might think, thanks to Mikali, but she is embarrassed by it, and it reminds her every day of everything she’s lost.”
Carrying around that sort of burden had to be difficult for anyone. Kit shook her head, thinking about everything he’d revealed. All of the stories she’d invented in her head to explain this place, never had it ever occurred to her that this would be the true story.
The weight of Eli’s eyes on her let her know he felt relieved to have told her the truth. She gazed at him, her thoughts from earlier coming back to her. But there was one more question he needed to answer. “Why did my mother hate your father?”
He sighed, running his hand through his now-dry hair. “I was hoping you’d forget to ask that.”
She snickered. “You know me better than that.”
That slight grin was back again. “I do. Are you sure you want to know?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“It might be difficult to hear.”
Kit’s eyebrows shot up. She had no idea what he was getting at. “I’d like to know.”
“All right.” He leaned heavily onto the right armrest of the chair and she tried not to stare at his chest as he began to reveal another deep truth. “My father was part of your mother’s Choosing.”
Once again, Kit was shocked into silence. Never in a million years would she have ever guessed that. She realized her mouth was hanging open and promptly shut it before opening it again only to ask, “What?”
He nodded. “In fact, she chose him. He was the one she wanted to be with. But... my father rejected her at the last moment, and as you can imagine that didn’t sit well with the queen.”
“Wait—what?” Kit scooted forward in her chair, not noticing her blanket had fallen down a bit in front until she saw Eli’s eyes lingering on her chest. She let it be. “Your father? My mother wanted to marry him? But what about my father?”
“When my father said he couldn’t marry Princess Rona because he was already in love with my mother, she dismissed him and married Duke Remont.”
“But why was your father part of the Choosing if he was in love with your mother?”
“She urged him to go. She said he’d be better off with the queen than with her. He didn’t want to, but he won the election, and I suppose he must’ve given it some effort since he was Roomed and made it to the end.” He shook his head, and she understood he didn’t know the details and probably didn’t want to think on it even if he did.
Kit leaned back in her chair, still having a hard time believing everything he’d just said, and Eli was quiet as well, letting her ruminate. After several minutes, she took a deep breath and asked, “Is that all?”
“Is that all what?” His voice was a husky whisper, and she wondered what he’d been thinking about in her silence.
“Are there any other secrets? Is there anything else you need to get off of your magnificent chest?”
He chuckled at her, and Kit couldn’t help but smile, despite the seriousness of her question. “That’s all.”
“Are you sure?” The smile was gone. She was somber now. “Eli, I’m so glad you’ve told me all of this, and I know you’ve kept it from me because you were trying to protect me, but there can’t be any secrets between us. You know how important you are to me. I would never say anything to anyone that might get you into any trouble.”
“I know that, Kit, but sometimes it’s easier to protect you when you don’t know what you don’t know.”
It wasn’t the first time he’d said something like that to her, and the slight crease under his left eye made her think perhaps he still wasn’t telling her everything. “If there’s something else I need to know....”
“There’s not, only that I think your mother knows exactly where we are, and I wouldn’t be shocked if she hasn’t already dispatched her guard.”
Kit swallowed hard. “Do they know about this room?”
“No, and your guard is also out searching for you, as far as she knows. Which means they could intercept her guard and make them think they’ve already searched here. I would hate for you to head home in the rain.”
“What about the smoke? And the horses?”
“I moved the horses to the barn, and I believe the skies will mask the smoke.” He glanced at the fireplace. “The chimney is gone, you know. It escapes through what was once my parents’ bedroom.”
She didn’t want to think about that. “So you think we’re safe?”
“If I didn’t, I would’ve made you leave as soon as I arrived.”
Her breath felt heavy in her chest, and when it finally released, she shuddered slightly as she imagined both of them were pondering what they could do in the meantime, while the rain continued to fall, and they were essentially trapped in the basement.
“You haven’t sneezed in a while. Are you feeling better?” he asked, leaning forward in the rickety chair.
Kit had forgotten all about the reason for taking her clothing off to begin with. “I feel fine,” she said. She felt more than that. She felt as if she were on a precipice, ready to leap off into a vast valley, confident that her wings were spread wide behind her, ready to soar.
Eli closed the gap between them more quickly than she expected. It took her by surprise, but as his lips found hers, she couldn’t help but smile. He was on his knees, his stomach pressed against her legs. They both brushed the blanket aside at the same time as she pulled him in, spreading her knees apart and wrapping them around him as his mouth consumed hers.
They’d kissed a few times before, but there was a need behind this that had never been allowed to reveal itself until now. His hands roamed through her hair, and she dragged her fingers along his skin, exploring each sinewy muscle, every bit of flesh and bone that was this man she’d longed to be with for as long as she could remember.
His lips shifted to her ear and then her neck. Gooseflesh rose on her arms, and somehow Kit managed to scoot even further forward into the chair, pressing herself into him as his one hand dropped to her leg. Against the thin fabric of her knickers, she could feel the heat of his palm as it stroked higher and higher on her outer thigh. The burning between her legs had long since become a howling need, and as he kissed the soft flesh between her neck and shoulder, she began to rock back and forth against him.
A thought occurred to her, and Kit pulled away slightly, causing Eli to release her neck. “What is it, Princess?”
“Do you have... a sheath?”
A wicked smile formed on his handsome face, and a second later he produced a small pouch out of his waistband.
Kit’s eyebrows shot up as laughter spilled out of her mouth “Do you always carry one?”
“Only if there’s a chance I might be alone with you.”
While she wasn’t quite sure that was completely honest, the potential problem had been avoided, and she leaned forward, cupping his rugged jaw in both hands and slid her tongue into his mouth.
Eli’s urgency seemed to intensify now that she’d essentially given him permission. He pulled her knickers down from the waist, and Kit lifted up slightly to help him work them over her hips. Her chemise came off next, and then he reached around to untie her stay. Normally, it was the more difficult piece of clothing to remove, but Eli had it off quickly, only pausing for a moment to revel at her breasts before he scooped her up and moved her to the cot in the corner in one motion. Kit wrapped her legs around his waist, pressing herself into him, feeling his hardness against her as she continued to tilt her hips into him.
Once on the bed, Kit didn’t care if he kept his breeches on or not; she was ready for him to take her now, had been ready for years. Even though she longed to see him fully undressed, the pressure mounting within her was overwhelming, the ache begin to engulf her as she clawed at his waistband, hoping to free him.
He let out a small chuckle at her urgency, but even that didn’t stop her. He sat up, still situated between her legs, and Kit dropped back onto the pillowless bed, staring up at him. Shaking his head in disbelief, Eli whispered, “I’ve envisioned you many times, Kit. But you’re even more beautiful than I could’ve ever imagined.”
The compliment made her beam, but she was still desperate to feel him inside of her, so saying nothing, she reached for him again. Eli pulled his member out of his pants, and Kit worked them down slightly as he slid the sheath into place. It was good enough. She sat up and wrapped her arms around him, plunging her tongue into his mouth as she pulled him back on top of her.
A memory began to invade her thoughts, just at the corners, and it wasn’t a pleasant one, though it wasn’t entirely terrible either. There was something about this that was far too familiar for having never happened before, and she couldn’t place it at first. One hand was on her breast as the other made room between her legs, though he never pressed a finger inside of her. The feel of his mouth on her body made her lose track of the thought, but for only a second until it was there again.
She took a deep breath and the same air of calmness washed over her as he moved his hips between her legs. She’d felt this serene sensation so many times before, the feeling that just being in his presence made everything right in the world. But as she felt the tip of him at her entrance, it morphed momentarily, and then, everything came back to her in a rush, in a whirlwind, and she was no longer a twenty-one year old woman lying in bed with the man she’d wanted for years; she was an eighteen-year-old, frightened, in front of a crowd of people there to celebrate her passage into womanhood.
Kit began to scream—pushing Eli off of her and alarming him as much as she frightened herself. “It was you!” she shouted, scooting into the wall behind the bed where the headboard should be, and drawing her knees together furiously. “It was you!”
