Chapter 108

“Kit, calm down!” Eli insisted. He reached for her, but she dodged him, suddenly not wanting to have his hands on her. He slipped himself back inside of his breeches. “Kit, take some deep breaths!”

“No!” she screamed at him, folding her knees up in front of her chest protectively. She knew he had no intention of hurting her or forcing something she didn’t want, but the idea that he’d been inside of her before, all those years ago, and never told her, seemed like a betrayal of a sort she could never even put words to. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I couldn’t!” he shouted back at her, standing and reaching across to the chair to the blanket she’d been using. He handed it to her, and Kit covered herself, realizing that she was becoming slightly calmer, despite the initial shock of what she’d discovered. Eli walked to the fireplace and threw in the sheath. He rested one hand on the mantel that bore his family name and had given away all of his other secrets “I couldn’t tell you, Kit,”

That answer wasn’t going to suffice anymore. She wrapped the blanket around her body and stood, though she only took a few steps in his direction. “You could have. Not five minutes ago, I asked you if you had anything else you were keeping from me, Eli. And you said no! You lied to me!”

He turned his face and looked at her beneath his bicep, and Kit both wanted to run to him, to let it all go and forgive him, to wrap her arms around him once more—and to kick him in the shins.

“I wanted to tell you, Kit. I almost did. But... you were not meant to know....”

“Because my mother ordered it to be so?” she asked, charging past him to the chair and her chemise, tired of the same excuse everyone used for everything. Her stay was just going to have to stay where it was as she had no time for that.

“No, because I didn’t think you’d want to know,” he replied, watching her struggle to get her chemise on over her head while still trying to keep the blanket up. He retrieved her stay, handing it to her, and she snatched it away from him, tossing it into the fire. His eyebrows shot up, but he said nothing else as she pulled her knickers on and then dropped her gown over her head.

“Didn’t think I’d want to know...” she muttered as the olive green fabric obscured her vision for a moment. Once it was on, she sat down and pulled her stockings off of the hearth, jamming her feet into each the best she could while the back of her gown flopped open and fell down her shoulders. She pulled it up several times, but it refused to stay in place. “Why wouldn’t I want to know? Of course, I’d want to know. Especially since it was you!”

He had his trousers on now and was pushing into his boots. “I don’t know what to say, Kit, other than I’m sorry. I would’ve told you if I thought you wanted to know, if I thought it mattered. It’s not as if it was... the same.” He had a sadness in his emerald eyes she’d only noticed a few times before, when he spoke of his parents, or when he was leaving her... again. She had to look away.

“It wasn’t exactly the same, but it was still another person inside of me—which is similar enough.” She glanced around and decided she was fully dressed now. She needed to get out of here, get away from him. For how long, she couldn’t say, but it would be a while. She took a few hurried steps to the door.

He was dressed now, too, his scabbard back at his side. “Let me hook you, Kit.” He reached for her, but she pulled away.

“I don’t want you to touch me.”

Her words hurt; he winced as if she’d stabbed him with a hot poker. “Kit, you can’t ride home with your dress unhooked.”

He was right, and she knew it. Reluctantly, she turned so that he could hastily hook her up. She was glad for his nimble fingers and the fact that he knew she wanted him to hurry.

“Kit...”

He didn’t get to finish the sentence. The sound of footsteps on the floorboard above them let them know they were no longer alone.

“Stay here,” Eli insisted, and Kit nodded, moving aside so he could get out the door. Hopefully, it was her guard and not her mother’s. Either way, this could get tricky. She didn’t need to be caught here by anyone, but if the Queen’s Guard knew she was here, that he had let her know this was his family home, her mother would likely find a way to make him disappear for good this time, and as angry as she was that Eli had lied to her, she definitely didn’t want that to happen to him.

Looking around the room, she noticed a bucket of water near the fireplace. She hurried over and doused the flames, seeing there wasn’t enough left of her stay to identify it as a garment, let alone hers. She turned out the lamp on the far side of the room first and then headed for the one by the door. Once it was out, she wouldn’t be able to see, so she’d have to feel her way up the stairs cautiously. The sound of footsteps heading toward the front of the house made her think Eli had escorted whomever it was out of the dwelling.

She extinguished the lantern and then felt her way up the stairs, groping at the wall for the crack in the panel. It was hard to identify, but eventually, she found it and pushed it open. The sound of voices from the entryway let her know it was Eli talking to a few of her own guards, not the queen’s. But the others were on their way. This was their warning. Thank goodness the couple hadn’t been engaged in anything other than an argument.

Kit dodged around the back of the staircase and circled into the hallways she’d explored earlier that morning. She’d noted several broken windows near enough to the ground that she could easily get through one of them. Keeping her steps light so he wouldn’t know she was leaving, she found her way to the first room, crept inside and rushed to the window. A few shards of glass stuck up from the bottom, but she knocked them free and then worked one leg and then the other out.

The drop was only about four feet, and the ground was soggy from the rain, so when her bootlets touched the ground, she sank in slightly. Pulling herself out of the muck, she took off for the back of the house, where she thought she’d remembered seeing the barn.

So far, no one was following her. The barn was impossible to miss as it was in much better shape than the house. She rushed inside to see Aeros and Snowduster in separate stalls looking restless. The rain was light now, and she imagined they both wanted to get out and run. Pausing for a moment, Kit stroked Aeros’s nose and then moved on to free Cassius’s steed. Her saddle was still in place, which would save her time.

She led him out of the stall and looked around for something to climb up on. A small milking stool stuck out of a pile of leaves and brush. Leading Snowduster closer to it, she climbed up. It was still a stretch, but she managed to get her foot in the stirrup and swing her other leg over. “Let’s go!” she urged, and the horse shot off like a lightning bolt through the woods.

As she rode, Kit glanced back over her shoulder at the remnants of Eli’s family home. She’d learned far more in one day then she ever would’ve imagined possible, but she knew she still had more to think about, more to discover, and more to reveal, not only about Eli and his predicament but about herself.