Chapter 112

Cassius slid the bar of soap up and down her back, using his hands to work away knots Kit hadn’t realized were there until his firm fingers broke them up. Once she was good and clean, she sank down even further into the tub, and he cupped his hands to rinse away the suds.

Kit settled back against him, glad to feel his arms around her. She rested her head against his shoulder and took some slow deep breaths, wondering what she should tell him and what was best left unsaid. She couldn’t mention that the house was Eli’s family home; she’d promised her commander she wouldn’t do that. It was the only such agreement she’d made, though. Everything else that slipped her lips would come out because she trusted Cassius not to tell anyone.

He didn’t pressure her, didn’t ask, just continued to hold her until she was ready to speak. One hand stroked the sensitive flesh just below her ribcage while the other rested on her thigh. It was if they belonged together, like their bodies were meant to be in the same space, and Kit didn’t want to disturb the moment by talking about anyone else.

But she also needed to unburden herself, and there was no one other than Cassius she’d rather speak to about any of the occurrences of the day. Avinia and Isla would listen and probably give some decent advice, say some words that would make her feel better. But Cassius was the one who would truly know what to say to help her move past the revelations she’d recently been afforded. Certainly, Jate would’ve had some positive remarks as well. Maybe even Landon or Reeve, but of all of her men, Cassius was the one she trusted most to convince her that whatever the obstacle, whatever the negativity that invaded her life, she could move past it.

So she began by saying, “Today didn’t go as planned.”

“No, I guess not.”

“Although, I did find what I sought to discover.” That part of the day had worked in her favor, even if she’d managed to get the place destroyed and ruin the friendship she’d had with the person meant to live there.

“What was that?” Cassius asked, his thumb drawing small circles on her side.

She tipped her head so that her forehead rested on his cheek. “I needed to know about that house. I wasn’t sure why. It had been eating at me for years. I wanted to know what had become of the family that lived there.”

“That’s why Pierce was asking about it?”

She sat up a bit. “Yes. For someone who prides himself on being able to discover secret information, that man isn’t very secretive.”

He chuckled. “Well, I think his mother may have been better at that then he. At any rate, I did overhear him asking a few people about it. Including Eli, who told him if he wanted to stay on the right side of the queen, he wouldn’t ask such questions.”

“How ironic,” Kit mumbled, but she couldn’t say more. “Did Pierce honestly think I hadn’t asked Eli myself?”

“Maybe he felt he knows the commander better than you and could win him over with his charm.”

Kit sat up, the water splashing around her, and they both began to laugh. Cassius didn’t let her get too far, pulling her back against him. “Well, I can’t tell you what I found out about the house, but I did find out.”

“I understand,” he said settling back into his small caresses. “I think I can put most of it together anyway.”

It was certainly possible since he had to know that Eli was at the house with her. “She burned it down.” The words came out of her mouth like poison, and she felt as angry at her mother for destroying what was left of Eli’s home as she’d ever been at her for anything.

“I know. He told me when he brought the medicine.”

“He did?”

“Yes. He smelled of soot and was coughing quite a bit. I guess he waited until they left and tried to save what he could, along with a few of your guards who were hidden away in the woods, but he said it’s basically all gone now except for the basement.”

Kit swallowed hard, thinking about what had transpired down there. She felt a little foolish for reacting the way she had. Perhaps she should’ve been easier on her friend. Remembering Cassius’s expression when he noticed she didn’t have a stay, she blurted, “He didn’t pleasure me.”

Only the soft sound of the water gently stirring troubled the silence for a long moment until he said, “I didn’t ask.”

“I know.” She turned her head, moving her hips away a bit so she could look at him. “And I know you wouldn’t ask, but I want you to know. Not because... not because it matters so much to you. I mean, I don’t know how it couldn’t. I think it does, despite the fact that you’ve told me dozens of times not to worry about it. But... it bothers me, Cassius. And I’m sorry if I shouldn’t talk to you about it, but I don’t know who else to speak to.”

“Kit!” He pulled her back to him, sat her on his knee to face him at an angle, pausing for a moment to move his slightly-less hard cock out of the way. “Listen, you can talk to me about anything. Anything at all. While I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a little uncomfortable hearing you talk about the other men, it’s perfectly all right. Sweetheart, anything in this world that is important to you is important to me, and if you want to tell me what happened with Eli, to unburden yourself and move past it, you know I will listen and do my best to make you feel better about the situation, don’t you?”

She nodded, not sure how he could feel that way but certain that he did. He wasn’t just talking, just saying what he thought she wanted to hear. He meant it.

Kit took a deep breath and reached up to brush back his dark locks, so thankful to have him when she needed him most. “Do you know anything at all about my Proem?” The word almost didn’t come out of her mouth, it was such a sore topic of discussion.

“Of course. The first time we met was at the ball the night before.” He smiled fondly, and she couldn’t help but return the gesture. “I remember dancing with you.”

“I remember that, too. I was terribly nervous about the ceremony. The fact is, they can tell you a million times it’s just a medical procedure, that it’s nothing to get worked up over, but the idea that another person’s body is about to be inside of your own—for any reason—is terrifying. Not to mention every noblewoman in the realm was there to watch.”

“I can only imagine how frightening that must’ve been.”

She nodded, shifted her weight a little, and pressed on. “You may recall that the royal physician is usually the one to perform the ceremony. But in my case, Mikali wasn’t able to do so. And Armant hadn’t joined the staff yet.”

“I remember,” Cassius nodded. “Didn’t they randomly choose a member of your guard?”

“Yes, and concealed his identity.” He nodded, as if he knew that part as well. “It was the best remedy they could come up with, and I suppose it worked. For a few months, I’d look at every single member of my guard suspiciously, wondering if he was the one, if he knew me intimately. But none of them ever gave me the idea that they could’ve been him—none of them acted differently or seemed awkward or self-righteous in my presence. So eventually, that feeling faded, and I imagined my mother had gotten rid of him the way she had so many of the guards I’d grown fond of.”

“Do you think your mother knows who it was, then?”

It was a legitimate question. “I did,” Kit admitted, keeping her voice low, despite the fact that she knew no one was listening in. “I assumed she did, despite the fact that she left it up to Mikali, and even he wasn’t supposed to know, because my mother knows everything. But after what I discovered today, I’m most certain she doesn’t know. She never would’ve allowed it. And if it happened, and she found out later, it would’ve been cause enough for her to make him disappear for good.”

Cassius listened carefully and deduced where she was going well before she got there. “It was Eli?”

A lump formed in her throat, one that simple swallowing could not thwart, and Kit could only nod her head.