Chapter 168

Kit spent the rest of the afternoon in her chambers, looking over notes she’d made for a project assigned to her by the council. She had always considered these assignments trivial busy work, but this one could potentially be different. Initially, she’d been asked to consider the current system for upkeep on the wagons that were used to transport goods from the castle to the provinces, but she decided perhaps there was more she could do with such a topic and was able to come up with several questions to pose to those in charge of making the transports. Having the guise of the assignment to hide behind might just give her the opportunity to dig deeper into exactly what was happening with the goods coming into Wrenbrook.

Her thoughts were interrupted when Avinia announced it was time to prepare her for the evening meal. She hadn’t eaten much of anything all day, only nibbled on a bit of bread and fruit while she worked, so she was famished, but the thought of sitting next to her mother and pretending she either knew nothing of what Rona had done or that she somehow approved of it was enough to tie Kit’s stomach into knots.

Combing out her hair, Isla caught Kit’s eyes in the mirror. “It will be difficult for you to hide your disposition, Cousin, but you must do so.”

Kit exhaled through her nose. “I know. I’m not sure how it will be possible.”

“It isn’t the first time you’ve been upset at the queen,” Avinia reminded her.

“It is the first time I’ve considered beating her to death with my goblet, or a bread basket, or whatever I can get my hands on.”

All three of her ladies’ eyes widened, but Kit couldn’t pretend to be sorry for her words any more than she could pretend that her mother’s behavior wasn’t atrocious. “I know I speak ill of the queen. Feel free to bring me up on charges.”

“You wouldn’t have said it if you didn’t fully trust all of us.” Seph was pulling a pink gown out of the armoire and bringing it over to the bed so that Kit could be dressed as soon as her hair was finished.

“True, but then, I should be able to trust my own mother, shouldn’t I?”

“Unfortunately, we’ve all known for far too long that you cannot.” Avinia managed a half-smile in the mirror but it was sympathetic at best. Her own mother was one of the kindest council members, and Kit had always wished Nill had been her own mother instead of Rona. But then, Avinia would be the one in Kit’s position.

An off subject thought occurred to her as the women continued to work to get her ready. “How much time would you say the pair of you get to spend with your own husbands? I know you share chambers with them, but you hardly ever speak about them. I feel as if being in my service is preventing you from concentrating on your own families.”

Avinia and Isla exchanged looks that said they were surprised at the question. Kit could see them debating over who should answer. Isla finally asked. “What makes you ask such a question now of all times, Katrinetta?’

“I’m not sure,” she admitted. “Only that I was thinking about my mother, and I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how I might manage a family of my own with seven suitors, that’s all.”

All three of the ladies giggled at the last part of her statement as if she might be joking, though she wasn’t. “We see them enough. They are busy throughout the day. Frano’s art takes up much of his time, and the queen is constantly requesting new pieces.”

“And Mil is also busy with foreign affairs,” Isla noted. Kit knew he had been appointed as a secretary to the council woman in charge of relations with the surrounding realms, Duchess Ta, one of Rona’s closest allies, although the woman was so elderly now, she hardly ever appeared in public. Kit imagined Mil did much more than he was given credit for considering that last time Kit had spoken to Ta, most of what she’d said made little sense. Perhaps this was another reason why Eli’s concerns over the other realms might be justified.

“Does any of this concern you?” Kit asked, hoping they’d gather her meaning. When she saw blank faces, she knew she’d have to say more. “Do you think, perhaps, what we’re about might not be worth it, in the end? You could both continue with your happy lives—with your husbands. Have children, maybe even take to the council or exit from my service and retire to the country. Do you think... that could all be ruined?”

They exchanged glances again, but this time Isla spoke first. “Not at all, Princess. I don’t believe we’d have the opportunity to do any of those things if something doesn’t change.”

“How can anyone live a carefree life knowing what we know about the state of the realm?” Avinia asked. “Knowing the atrocities that have been committed, the people that have suffered, the laws that have been broken? No, Katrinetta. Don’t question your cause for our sake, or for the sake of anyone.”

“From my perspective,” Seph spoke up, taking a step forward, “you are the one that has the most to lose, Princess. The fact that you are willing to risk so much to help so many was inspiring to me. I came into this all a bit late and wasn’t sure what I was getting myself into, but when I realized just how dedicated you must be to take this all on, I knew I could do my part as well.”

“But Seph, you’ve already suffered at my mother’s hand in just the month or so you’ve been here.” Kit remembered how shaken Seph had been when she’d returned from the ride she’d been sent on with Eli. The same could be said of when her mother had asked Seph to seduce Eli in his chambers, and Kit had pulled one over on the queen. As long as Seph was in Kit’s service, she wasn’t safe. And she was much more disposable to the queen than most of the people who were loyal to Kit.

“It’s true I’ve been put in a few vulnerable positions, Princess, but I trust you and those who serve you to provide for my safety, as much as can be expected.”

Her answer was confident, but Kit was still nervous for her. Part of her wanted to send Seph far away, not even back to Eastbury but to another province where she could be hidden away from the queen’s long arm.

“Come now, let us finish pinning your hair or we shall never get you to the dining hall,” Avinia insisted. Kit decided that was enough heavy discussion for one evening. She’d have to find a way to distract herself from her anger during the meal. Perhaps her ladies’ words would be one way to do that.