Chapter 68

“Kiss me.”

The words were out of her mouth before she could even think about them. It had nothing to do with her ability to command the other forty-one, now forty-two, men to do whatever she’d like. This request originated in her heart. It had lived there for so long, she couldn’t imagine a world where she didn’t constantly yearn for Eli’s lips to be on hers.

His hands moved so they were on either side of her face, and she pressed her palms to his chest, but he didn’t lean in, and she remembered that, should anyone see them, should anyone find out, her mother would hesitate at nothing to take his head. There would be no second chances, no possibility of calling upon the people to spare him or barter for a blow of a lesser degree. If Queen Rona had the opportunity to take Eli’s life, she would, so Kit could hardly blame him for hesitating, even if he wanted to taste her as badly as she needed him.

Kit opened her mouth to try to take it back, to try to extinguish the position she’d put him in, but before the words could leave her lips, his mouth was on hers. It was nothing like she’d expected; the anguish and urgency that burned inside of her, that had been building there for years, was smothered by his soft lips. The library melted around her, and she was transported back in time. No longer ensnared by the rules of her Choosing, Kit was a fifteen-year-old girl, sitting on the stairs in a dilapidated house, and the only other person in the world who mattered to her was here beside her, his mouth pressed to hers.

Her lips were already parted, but he took his time, slowly drawing her closer to him, gently touching the tip of his tongue to hers, savoring each moment. Every part of her body was awakened; the hairs on her arms stood on end, and pulses reverberated down her spine. Kit moved forward, pressing herself against him as Eli deepened his kiss, his thumb drawing circles on her cheek, pulling her closer with each breath.

Unable to control herself, she plunged into him, her fingers tangled in his hair as she gasped, wanting more and knowing she could never have it. He didn’t pull away, though. His arm lowered to encircle her waist, and he lifted her off of the windowsill slightly, all caution and ease fading away. He released her mouth for only a moment, taking a quick draw of air before finding her again, even more hungry for her this time, and Kit surrendered everything to him in that moment knowing any damage was already done.

When Eli pulled away from her it was abrupt, and it caught Kit off guard. She pitched forward, nearly falling off of the window ledge, but even though he was no longer looking at her, his steady hands righted her.

He was staring at the door, and Kit feared the worst. “What is it?”

Eli inhaled sharply and then shook his head slightly, as if clearing his thoughts. Without turning back to face her, he said only, “Blankka.”

Puzzled, Kit slid down to the floor, smoothing her gown as she went. His hands were still on her, and she didn’t force them away, but she hadn’t seen anything at all, and she was facing the door. How did he know?

“It’s my job to know.”

He had read her mind. She turned to face him. “I’m not sure we can trust her.”

“I’ll handle her.”

In his eyes, she could see certainty, that she needn’t worry, but Kit felt her stomach flip flop. Blankka had indicated more than once that she had feelings for Eli. Surely, even if she had seen and was jealous, she wouldn’t tell the queen. All that would accomplish was a beheading, and even someone as immature as Blankka wouldn’t put Eli in such a position, would she?

Kit took his hand in hers and held it over her heart. “I should’ve never asked you to do that. My mother....”

“Kit, trust me. It’s fine.” He lifted her chin with his index finger so that she was entrapped in his eyes once more. “You do not need to worry about this.”

Her head bobbed up and down, but she had no idea how she could do anything but worry. If Blankka went to the queen with this information, there’d be no saving him.

The library door opened, and Blankka poked her blonde head in just as Kit released his hand. “Oh, Princess. There you are. We’ve been looking for you.” The nonchalance in her voice was fake; Kit could see right through her. “It’s time to get you ready for your audience with the queen.”

“Yes, of course,” Kit replied, her feet already moving in that direction, despite her insides screaming that Blankka must be stopped. But Eli said he would handle her. If she couldn’t trust him, then who could she trust?

Clearly not the girl before her. “Commander, I didn’t realize you were back. Might I have a quick word with you?”

Kit turned to look at Eli, but his eyes didn’t shift from Blankka as he replied, “Yes, of course.” Normally, Kit would’ve inquired as to what it might be Blankka could possibly need to discuss with her commander. The request was highly unusual. But then, if it gave Eli the opportunity to talk to her before Blankka had a chance to run to the queen, then Kit wasn’t about to question either of them. She spun back around and headed for the door, saying nothing more. Kit would simply have to trust that Eli knew how to save his own life because he was the one person for which the queen would certainly show no mercy.