THE PAIN OF A MOTHER

The door flows open, but the person who walks in is someone whom I would not have wished to cross paths with, especially not in this situation. And not here in the absence of her son. And the way her eyes are firing at me as she walks in after shutting the door behind her says it all. She is not happy. She does not look happy at all.

“Greetings, Mrs…”

“I didn’t know I would find you here. What a surprise!” She says this while standing right in front of me.

No greetings. She did not even respond to mine or let me finish. Unlike that day of the dinner with her in her house, there are no greetings, no hug, nor can I see that warmheartedness that I sampled from her that day. Today, she is cold. Gross!

“I am sorry. I just came to...

“To see whether my son is here?” Again, she cuts me off. I bitterly swallowed what I wanted to say. There is no need to open my mouth again, presumably. It seems like she will not give me time to speak, explain myself, or justify myself. “I warned you, Gia, didn’t I? What did you do to my son?” She snaps.

Okay. I hope she is not trying to get on my nerves right now because I have just too much to handle. More than she can surmise. What is she saying, huh? I am so sorry about her pain if her son has ghosted her the way he has done to me, but she cannot just question me like I am a witch who just cast a spell on her son! Aside from her, no one else wishes her son better than me. Nobody wants her son to be found more than I do. No one needs her son more than I do.

“Speak, Gia! I did not know I would run into you right here in my son’s house, but I am so glad that you saved me the trouble of looking for you in the comfort of your house. What happened to my son? Where is he?” She is fuming mad.

The comfort of my home, huh? God, forgive this woman! She does not know what she is yapping about. Nothing is okay with the absence of her son. Nothing will be okay with me until her son is found. But she does not seem to understand that.

“I don’t know what you are talking about, ma’am.” I replied, hugging my neck tight.

“Don’t just give me that crap, Gia Wilsons! You know exactly what I am talking about. But in case you want to play stupid, let me try and break it down for you. My son lost his sanity the minute he met you. He got into trouble because of you. We were all dragged into your own mess, and he didn’t care. He risked his all for you. For you, Gia! But what did you do, huh? Did you care? Did you show even just a little bit of appreciation for what my son did for you, even just once?” She howls again.

I feel like crying. I feel like I want to break down right now. But I do not do such a thing. I agree that I made mistakes. I agree that it took me too long to tell her son what I wanted. I agree with her that I was such an ungrateful bitch because all I said was an empty thank you to Deep after everything he did to me. But ain’t I trying to do something about all that? That is why I am going insane trying to find her son. She just ran into me on the move, right? Shouldn’t she cut me some slack? I mean, come on! She did not walk in on me relaxing in my house or having some freaking fun somewhere. I am sure my face doesn’t look bright either. She should know that I am suffering just like her. More than her, actually. Sigh!

“I am so sorry that..."

“I don’t need your damn sorry!” Damn her, her impatience, and her annoying ascent, which is making her words come out more harsh. What is the point of her asking me questions if she will not allow me to answer them? “I asked you what the problem was between you and my son when you came to my house. I had seen how my son had changed. But you boldly lied to my face. And then I saw you storm out of the room, looking so furious. It was evident that you and my son were fighting. How could you lie to me, huh?”

Forget about her damn question. So, she saw me? She indeed sent me to her son’s room intentionally. “Why did you even send me to his room that day?” I wonder out loud.

“I wanted you to make up because I knew things between you two were going south. But you both disappointed me! And then now my son is behaving weirdly. Strange. He is going insane. I don’t even know where he is or whether he is safe where he is.” She fumes again.

Wow! What a crazy mother she is. That is how she wanted us to make up? In her son’s room? Wow! Wouldn’t it have been much easier and more appropriate to call her beloved son down to join us for dinner instead of sending me to his room? Jeez!

“So, are you still going to lie to my face that you and my son are not in a relationship? Will you still tell me that you both are just friends and that things are still hunky-dory between you two? Come on! Tell me! I want to hear it.” She quizzes.

I take a deep breath, hoping that she does not cut me off again. I might snap at her this time around. “We were nothing but the best of friends, ma'am!” I say. Actually, I lie, because we were more than that.

“Because that is all your stupid eyes wanted to see. Why didn’t you tell my son that you were not interested, huh? You knew what he had gone through, yet you led him on and on until you crashed all his hopes and...

“I loved your son, ma'am!” I was the one who cut her off this time around. She leans back, daring me with her eyes. “I love your son. It just took me a long time to realize it. And I wouldn’t waste anybody’s time. I am not that heartless.” I add.

“Well, too bad for you, because if there is one thing that I know about my son, it is that when he is done, he means completely done. He does not look back. I wish you the best in finding him. But just know two things: one, you will not find Deep Moore Azzua if he does not want you to find him. And second, I wish I didn’t have to say this, Gia, but I have to. If anything bad happens to my son, I will have you to blame, and this time around, I will never forgive you." She sounds dead serious.

Deep still has photos of me in his house. That is a good sign that he has not called it quits with me. I will find him because he wants me to find him. I will. “Excuse me, Ma’am!” I have nothing to say to this woman anymore. I need to get moving as soon as possible.

“Good luck, if it is still on your side, Gia Wilsons!” She speaks behind me as I open the door. I don’t turn. I don’t respond. Luck is on my side. It has to be.