THE FIRST SHOW

I did great shopping yesterday at the mall and made sure to pick the best dresses. The price was so pocket-friendly compared to Nairobi, which enticed me to buy more than I had planned. Not that money is a problem for me because my account is loaded, but you know that feeling when you go shopping and you find the prices are much lower than you expected? You end up buying more than you had planned to. That, coupled with the freedom of being able to walk around without being watched, got the better of me. I came back with huge shopping bags weighing me down. With everything that I bought, the dresses, both medium-length and floral gowns, the shoes and inner wear, and some shorts and light tops to wear when we are not in the show, I will not need to use this trash that came from Ejay anymore. I won't be stinking at him. I might as well throw them away in the dustbin. Nkt!

We are having breakfast at this hotel with my boys, I mean, my companions, and Jimmy is still insistent about having a collabo with me, in which I am not interested. Just because I am a musician doesn't mean that I can collaborate with anyone on a song just because they want me to feature in their songs. There is a boundary to everything, and I believe that in everything I do, I have to set the standards. I need to have boundaries for what I can and cannot do. I cannot jump from hip-hop to r&b to reggae to rap; I will look like a confused human being. I want to maintain my stand, and I will feature only in something that will not compromise with my main thing. Nick is so excited about our upcoming collabo, which we have agreed to work on tomorrow, and I am as excited. I am eagerly looking forward to it.

"Hey, Tim. What has cut your tongue since we arrived?" I ask. He has been so quiet. I know I am meeting him for the first time, and it's difficult to tell what he is like, but he was jovial on the plane. It's like he is not the same Tim we landed with here.

"Me? Nothing. I am just waiting for the fun time." The two men chuckled at him.

"I guess by fun you mean the show time?" I ask.

"If there is a blonde nerd with a big ass sitting on my lap, that will be fun. Otherwise, it will be just a show." He leans back to his chair, while I look at him with dismay. Really now? Women are the fun part.

"Don't mind these two." Nick says. "They can't keep their hands off women." He adds.

I see. I guess I should be careful with them then.

"We are enjoying life now that we can. By the way, Tim, why don't we walk around and look for the best clubs around so we can chill out after the show? The girls there are quite wild and thirsty for pleasure." Jimmy says.

"Brilliant idea. Let's go. I am feeling the heat as early as now." Tim says, and they both stand to walk away. "You want to join us, buddy? You are not that innocent either." That's Tim again. This issue with women has really excited him.

"No. I'll pass. I know how messy you two can get. I'll have my drinks in my room, where I can control myself. I don't want my girlfriend to find me in a mess." And so, even Nick is a drunkard? I never would have thought so. It's their lives anyway; I better not meddle.

"You are an absolute no-fun, man! You are bringing your girlfriend? Seriously? You want to have your girlfriend watch your every move here?"

"You know what? You two better leave already." Nick says, pushing them away, and they playfully put their hands up in the air for surrender and walk out, bouncing as if they own the world. "They are really annoying, aren't they?" Nick turns to me after they disappear from our sight.

"I am not used to being around people, but yeah. I can't agree any less." I say.

"So how are you now? Are there any developments in your case?" He asks.

"So far, nothing yet. But I am still holding on to the hope and faith that everything will turn out well."

If only he knew there was no case under investigation. The life I have stinks. I hate lies.

"It will. But hasn't there been someone who has reached out to you? A friend, family, or relative?"

Damn!

"None." I look down because I don't want him to see in my eyes that I am lying. I cannot go around telling people that I am not investigating what happened to me. Or that I am not looking for my family. It will sound suspicious.

"It's alright. Have faith. Everything will be fine." He squeezes my hand, and I lift up my head and nod to his statement.

With all my heart, I hope for things to be alright soon. I don't know for how long people will believe in this lie, but I am certain that I cannot lie forever. It won't be long, and people will start questioning why nobody has dared to look for me. Even if I did not have a family, of course I had relatives and friends, and it's not like I am in another country that will make it difficult for my people to find me. What will I do when that time comes? What kind of lies will I tell then?

"So your girlfriend is coming over?" I ask out of the blue to break the silence and distract my thoughts.

"Yes. She is arriving today in the evening."

"That's good. Don't mind those two fools. There is no better time than the one spent with your loved ones." I say.

"Sure. What about you? You should have let your boyfriend tag along."

Ouch! Well, I do not have one yet, and the one I am going to call mine soon is not someone I would want to bring in public. He is just not presentable. And what's more, I am considering going back on my words, which means I am going to be single for quite a long time. "Well, you see, he is just so tied up with work right now. You know, the workaholic types?"

"Yeah, I get it." He says, and I sigh.

"Okay, I will have to leave you now because I have a lot of packing to do." I add.

"Sure. I will be in my room, just in case." I nod my head as we both stand up to return to our different rooms.

It's nine in the morning.

It's still too early because I am eagerly waiting for tonight's performance. I get in my room, take out my shopping bags from where I tossed them last night, and take out all that I bought. I want to make a grand appearance. I want to look unique. For tonight, I chose a gold floral-fitting dress and silver heels and put them aside. I pull my suitcase, put all the clothes I brought with me, and toss them under the bed. I don't need them. I don't want them. They will lie there until the day of my return. I finish packing the ones I bought myself in the small but beautiful wardrobe, and I lie on the bed.

Jeez! It's not even ten yet? Why is time moving so slowly? I decided to sleep the whole of the morning up until one o'clock, when I went to have lunch. And I came back, got on the phone with my nightmare again for a time that was too long for me, just asking about nonsense questions like, If I am enjoying myself, if I miss him, yack! Why would I miss him? If only I could just ignore his calls completely. Sigh!

Standing in front of the dressing mirror, I admire the beautiful woman in the reflection. I even applied some ponds to my face today—just not too much. My full pink lips look so moist under the one-layer coat of lip gloss. My, oh my! I love myself. I put my confidence smile on and grab my purse, and I walk out. The show is held in this same hotel, making it convenient for us. We don't have to move here and there.

I confidently walk to the reception, with full energy and joy, where my three boys are waiting for me. Their eyes fall on me the moment my heels announce my arrival. Tim's jaw is rolling somewhere on the floor, and Jimmy is ogling. These two have rotten minds, for sure. "You two should know that you don't stand a chance with a beautiful woman of substance like Gia. You only deserve the lazy, busy bodies from the clubs who have no values. Let's go, Gia." Nick says he is really pissed off.

We walked out, and we were about to take the stairs that lead to the hall when the voice of a certain lady stopped us.

"Babe." We turn around to see the beautiful lady dragging her suitcase behind her. She seems to be in such a hurry.

"Hey babe." Nick responds. Wow! That is his girlfriend? She is beautiful. The chubby cheeks make her look like a real doll. So adorable. They embrace each other in a hug, followed by a kiss that was too wet for my eyes.

Dang! That must be so sweet, as in, being kissed like that by someone you love. I bet the kiss tastes like chocolate and honey. I hope that someday I will be lucky enough to have a loving life. I will give it my all.

"Babe, meet..."

"Gia Wilsons. Who wouldn't recognize her in this country?" The chubby lady says, straightening her hand to me for a handshake. "Pleasure to meet you." She adds with a smile.

"Pleasure to meet you too." I say, shaking her hand. I can't call her chubby cheeks.

"Ana," she says.

"Ana, it's a pleasure to meet you, Ana."

"So, I will have to take her to my room to freshen up and change." Nick says to me:

"It's alright. I will go ahead because I don't want those two to catch up with me." I say this, referring to Tim and Jimmy, who are coming out just now.

"Okay. Later." Nick says as he pulls his girlfriend by the waist, helping her with her suitcase, and they turn back, while I take the opposite direction and head to the hall.

The hall is filled with people—fellow musicians from different East African countries, some VIP delegates who were invited to come to the show, and of course the hosts—all having a great time catching up with each other, and I join them. Everyone looks so elegant. We spent almost an hour exchanging pleasantries and introducing ourselves, but of course that was not enough to greet everyone. As we settle down inside the hall, I still run into some people that I was not able to meet outside, and I say a quick hello and settle on my seat.

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen." A man's voice cuts everyone's chitchatting, and the hall falls quiet. "My name is Benjamin Nzulu, and I am the chief host of this event. I want to take a very short time to welcome you all to this show. Please feel at home. Now, about this show, each and everyone will perform three songs by the sixth day, and on the seventh day, we will all gather here and tell you how well you entertained your fellow musicians. Are you all ready?" We shout a big yes, and he takes out a list containing the names of the first ten people to perform tonight and reads it out.

Apparently, I will be the one to close the show tonight. It's nine thirty o'clock, and this is my best night so far. A night surrounded by people who understand my calling A night doing what I love We have enjoyed the beautiful songs of the nine participants tonight, and all I can say is that they are really amazing. This guy has talent and energy. Of all the nine, my favorite was Alfa of Rwanda. He performed his song entitled Say Yes, and I love it. I have fallen in love with that song. The message is sweet, and he couldn't have expressed the feeling any better.

"And now, let's welcome the person who will close the show for us tonight. This particular lady returned to the music industry three months ago, and I tell you, the industry is on fire. Let's all welcome Miss Gia Wilsons."

I walk to the stage as people continue ushering me in with claps. The beat starts, and I feel myself drowning in its soothing sound. This is my life. Music is my life. Music is the voice that I understand the most. Music is the feeling that I can't hide or force. It just comes naturally, and when I hear this voice, I turn a deaf ear to every other voice and listen to the voice of music. This is where I pour all my feelings and emotions. This is where I let go of everything in my soul and mind and allow the music to drive me where it wants. Because it is only in this beautiful world of music that I feel free and complete. Free from all the worries. Free from all the troubles. And free from my horrible reality. The beat of my sweet song, Never Leave Me, comes to an end. I open my eyes, full of tears, and look at the people in front of me, all on their feet, clapping. I bow to them, handing over the mic to the MC, and walk back to my seat, wiping away the tears.