HEARTACHES

Alas!

Time damn flies, huh? It's been a week since I moved into my new place. A beautiful place with a serene environment, peaceful and quiet—exactly what I like, but for some reason, the silence is just too much. I'm not so good at making friends, so I don't even know my next-door neighbour.

I drag my feet from the bedroom to the kitchen to make breakfast with my phone in my hand, staring at the WhatsApp profile of him—yes, him. He is the reason for my foul mood this early morning. He is the reason why I'm hating the annoying sound of silence, which I have always loved. Since the day I left his house, after making me believe that all was life on the moon between us, he has gone absolutely mute. No call, no text, no visit. No nothing! Why? Didn't he ask whether he was welcome to visit me here, and I said a warm, merry yes? Did he not say that he respected my decision to leave his house? What's more, he even has a spare key to my house, just like I have mine. What's with the silence now? Is this what he meant by letting me go?

I drop on the couch, abandoning the idea of making breakfast. I just lost my appetite. I try to distract my thoughts by reading WhatsApp messages from my fellow musicians and friends, but I find myself scrolling back to just one contact: Deep's. "He has not made an effort for you, Gia, but what have you done yourself? Have you made an effort to reach out to him?" My mind mocks.

Maybe it is right. Maybe he is waiting for me to call, just like I am waiting for him. Maybe he wants me to call or text. With trembling hands and a fearful heart, I press the video call button. As I wait for him to pick me up, I wipe my face with my hands, getting rid of all the dirt in my eyes. I straightened my face and put on a small smile. He can't see me as dull and gloomy. I stare at the screen, waiting for his gorgeous face to pop up on it, imagining how his face will light up with a sweet smile after seeing me. I can imagine how his lips will curve up to say my name, or even just a hi. I get tense when the phone rings for a long time without him picking it up. "Please, pick up, Deep!" I whisper to myself, crossing fingers, inwardly praying that he picks up. I wait, and wait, and wait, until the irritating sound of the ending call shutters all my hopes.

He didn't pick up! My body turns cold suddenly, and anger starts to boil. My heartbeats become so faint, and my mind feels clogged up. No, Deep! You can't do this to me. You just can't! I check his status, only for my heart to be broken into pieces. He is actually online. He is damn online! He just watched my call ring to the end and ignored it. Maybe he was busy? No! Deep has never been so busy for me. He always calls. Always texts. He never missed any of my calls before. He never went a day without calling either, except for this cursed week. I redial again and wait.

Every single unanswered ring chokes me. It's sucking all the energy out of me, weakening my bones. I wait and wait, as the phone annoyingly rings, and rings, and rings, until it falls silent. That's it, Gia! He doesn't want to speak to you. I abandon my phone in the living room and return to my comfortable bed. I need a nap.

2 p.m

Shit!

Did I really sleep that much? Since when did I become a sleepy head? I have missed a couple of calls from Sheryl, and that gives me a bad feeling. She doesn't make more than one call if it's not urgent. I call back, but the call is answered. What could be the problem? I ignore my grumbling stomach and dash out of my house.

I hail a cab, hop into the first one that makes a stop, and have a quiet ride to the apartment.

I walk through the gate, only to find the girls just sunbathing outside, chit-chatting to each other, loud chuckles, and some outburst laughter filling the compound, making it lively—a place that can be called home. Looking at them, I realize their faces have brightened up since they got their freedom. They are loosening up day by day. They are accepting life in a positive way, and I am overwhelmed by that. "Hi, girls!" I greet them as I walk closer, and they all turn to answer my greetings with smiles. I love this. They look free and are happily adjusting. "How are you all doing?"

"We are fine, Miss Gia! And you?"

"I am good too. Is everything okay?" I ask.

"Yes," they chorus together.

"Alright then. How about we take a selfie, yeah?" I ask.

"Sure." They all say they are aligning together to fit on the small screen of my phone. "Smile. There. One more." I click a couple of times, and I don't feel like stopping because their smiles are bliss, but...

"Well, look who we have here? Miss show-off herself!" My nightmare of a sister appears in front of us, ruining our peaceful selfie time. I turn to her. "Let me guess. Those will be trending on social media with the caption SAVIOR, right? You are really doing an incredibly amazing job with this fake act you are putting in, dear sister."

"And what exactly do you mean by that?" I snap.

"I mean, with this heroine title, you might be recognized even in the entire world. If only people knew what a fake you were. A real green snake in green grass!" You should see how boldly she says that.

You know what? To hell with giving her her own space. She is crossing the boundaries now.

"It's too bad that you are the only person who sees me as a snake, sister. And regarding the photos, I am just building an archive with memories worth keeping. Too bad you are not part of these memories." I retort.

"I refuse to be part of your charade. You cannot fool me, and you cannot use me like you are doing to them. You are nothing but a petty, skimming bit.

"ENOUGH!" I shut her up, shocking everyone with my outburst. Sheryl comes running from the house, standing beside me while the girls stand behind me. "I have had enough of your insults. Until you prove that I am all that you are accusing me of, until you tell it to my face what exactly you have against me, don't you dare insult me, Grace! I forbid you to insult me like this ever again, Grace! You are my elder sister, and I respect you so much, but that doesn't give you any right to treat me this way. I am not going to allow you to humiliate me like this with nothing but baseless assumptions. Go back to your room and sulk there until this anger and bitterness kill you. Maybe I will be better off without a single member of my family than having a bitter soul like you for a sister!" I howl.

Sheryl holds my hand in an attempt to let me know that I have gone too far, but I refuse to even blink. What does this sister of mine want? Really, what? She asked me to stay away from her, and I did so. We have not seen face-to-face since that day, but I always get reports from Mayleen of how bitchy she is becoming. Now that I kept my distance, she follows me out here just to insult me. To humiliate me and make me look like a bitch in front of people? It's not me who has gone too far. It's her, and she has crossed the boundary. I cannot take her arrogance any more.

Without a word, she runs off inside the house. I'm sure she is going directly to her room to lock herself up. "Aah, girls? Please leave us alone for a while." Sheryl says, and the girls leave willingly. "That was harsh, my friend." She says this when we are alone.

"I know. But she provoked me. She is becoming uncontrollably too bitchy." I state. I am not even sorry for being too harsh on her. She also was. It has been years since we met again.

"I know, Gia. I am sorry that I can't help you fix your issues with your only sister. She seems so mad at you, and she doesn't want to say why." She says.

"Don't even try to talk to her about it, Sheryl. We will stay like this until she decides to open up. I'm not begging her again, nor will I tolerate her behavior." I state.

"But what if she doesn't open up? What then? You will live like this? Cold at each other for ever? Fighting like cats and dogs?" She asks.

What else can I do? I have exhausted all my patience with her. I have stooped low enough, and she does not appreciate that. "I don't know, Sheryl. I am hoping she will."

"Okay. Actually, you should probably talk to Deep." That made me snap at her.

Where did that come from? Which deep to begin with? The one who has a crush on me? "Deep? Why?" I ask. I can’t tell her that we have issues. Deep issues, for that matter.

"Well, he... he was here a while ago. He tried talking to your sister again, but I guess things didn't go well. I don't know what she said to him, but he left. And he did not seem okay when he left, Gia. Sorry to say so."

"Deep was here." I question. I mean, the same Deep Moore Azzua who hasn't called me in a week. The same one who refused to pick up my calls this morning. He was here? And to talk to my sister?

"Yes. Why do you seem so shocked? It's the second time he came here this week." She tops my shock.

A second time this week. I have no problem with him at all coming here, but if he has such time and yet he hasn’t had time for me, then that means my instincts are right. He has a problem with me. He is ignoring me. And sucks! It is so worrying.

"Well, it's just that he didn't mention to me that he talked to my sister." I lie. I did not know that he came here.

"Maybe he doesn't want to worry you. He cares so much for you. Actually, I'm beginning to think that he loves you."

"What?"

"Yes. His worries and concerns about you are on another level. He sticks out for you without worrying about getting hurt. The way he looks at you, Gia,

"Aah, Sheryl, I need to go. Please take care of everything over here for me." I pull my hand away from her and turn to leave. I cannot deal with her crazy ideas. He loves me, my ass. He must have such a sucking way of loving.