UNFAVORABLE SORROUNDINGS

"Aah.. Mr? Drop me here, please." I say this to the cab driver.

"But, miss, you said you were heading to Ngara." He states, And men, I know what I said, but I can decide otherwise, right? I feel like snapping at him, but I keep my cool.

"Yes. But I have changed my mind about going straight home." I say as he pulls over at the Gevangee Gardens on the outskirts of Nairobi CBD. I hand him a note as my payment and walk out without caring for the change.

The Gevangee Gardens are a small, public chilling place. It has nothing as decoration but beautiful yellow flowers that look so bloody on a chilly evening like this one. No activity takes place here. Like I said, it's a chilling place, and so I drag my feet inside it, forcing a smile on people who recognize me. They are too many for my liking, though, because I'm in no mood for anything.

How can I help when my sister is taking my boyfriend away from me? Crap! My boyfriend, huh? Talking of boyfriends, I didn't know this garden was a romance corner.

A lot of the people chilling here are couples, like the ones I am passing now. I had to slow my pace to confirm that they were really kissing amidst all these people. Argh! I annoyingly take my eyes off them, looking somewhere else, only to land on another one. This couple looks decent, though, and they can't hide their love and adoration for each other. It's sweet, but it doesn't sit well with my longing for loneliness and a deprived soul.

The third couple I land my eyes on is the worst. This one is hilarious! I think they missed the direction to a lodging, because men! The guy is sitting up straight on the green grass, while the lady is lying on her side, her head and part of her upper body resting on his thighs. He is playing with her braided hair with one hand as a distraction because, believe me, you won't believe where the other one is, and you wouldn't want to know what nonsense it's doing. On the space between the guy's left side and the lady's belly sits a black leather bag, obscuring the people from witnessing the sinful acts of their hands. Holly cow! The guy notices my stern gaze on them, and he throws me a look that says, "Mind your own business," and you know what? He's kind of right. My heart, soul, and mind are not stable for any of this romance shit. My entire being isn't. I roll my eyes at him and start my way out of here.

It was a stupid idea to stop over here. I just wasted my time. Ngara is just a short walking distance from here. Actually, despite the darkness overthrowing the night, I can see the beautifully eye-catching Chambers Heights from here, standing admirably tall among other buildings. What's more, I can even identify my house from this point. I hope I won’t run into some more romance shit as I take this evening walk.

I lazily lift my legs one after another, keen on crossing the congested, busy roads. It's that peak hour when everybody is in a hurry leaving the busy town, and the crazy motorists are not making it easy either. I'm not used to walking like this, but it's what I chose this evening. Not complaining, though, because all choices have consequences.

Minutes later, I find myself wandering away from the town, and I enter a quiet street. I breathe out all the stress as I take the street to my house, except one.

It is this constant stress that is killing me inside.

The orange lights of my house greet me the moment I walk in, making me blink a couple of times. I must have been so confused today to leave the lights on throughout the day. Sigh! I lock the front door and kick off my damn shoes in the corridor. I open the small door to the sitting room, and after locking it, I drag myself and drop to the couch. More than tired, I feel drained and lost, confused and angry at everything, more so with those stupid couples back at the garden. They should at least show some consolation to broken and longing souls like us.

"Damn this feeling, and damn this shit called love!" I curse as I massage my temples, closing my eyes to this sweet, relaxing feeling.

"I can do that better." Aah, wow! No, damn that voice too! I'm sure it's just in my head. I'm probably wishing he was here or hoping he will show up here. How stupid of me, right? He trashed my calls because he had an urgent one for my sister. Why would he come to me? My sister may be better than me. Maybe he.... "Had a bad day?"

Okay! Okay! Okay! This is a bad joke!

The calming movement of my fingers on my temples stops, but I keep my eyes closed. Did I just fall this deep asleep? I just walked in and shut my eyes just a second ago, right? Am I dreaming, perhaps? But it's just been less than five minutes since I sat on this couch. Am I hallucinating? No, this better not be!

I feel him run the back of his hand on the bare skin of my cheek, my skin reacting with a jolt of excitement. That feeling is quite familiar. It has the same spark. The same electric shiver makes me want to jump from the couch. Before I can explode due to this sweet heat that is turning into a dangerous fire, I catch his hand as it starts its magic on my neck. It feels real, and I can now smell the alluring scent of his cologne. I force my eyes to peel slowly, and my heart is doing a stupid dance inside. What is it getting so excited about?

I look up, and a pair of the most beautiful dark brown eyes that I have ever seen stare deep into mine. His full, deep pink lips parted a little. I don't know whether he wanted to say something, but my naughty brain has a hundred things running through it because of this tiny gap between his lips. Forgive my brain, and blame this sweet sin before me. I want to jump and hug him. I want to choke him with my tight arms around his neck. I want to kiss these lips until they are sore and bleeding. I wonder what the color of the blood would make them look like. I badly want to taste the sweet chocolate and vanilla taste of the liquid in his hot mouth. I want to run my finger through his fine jaws. I want to feel his hands rummaging through my body, setting me ablaze like they always do. I want to feel myself slowly drowning in the sweet world of sinful pleasures with him, but a thought crosses my mind, making my heart stop. I yank his hand away, withdrawing my soft gaze away from him.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.