21

Oh my God!

Completely sweaty and out of breath I lay panting next to an absolutely hot looking man and could hardly believe that this man was really my husband...

I took a deep breath, trying to regain control of my body, and then turned my face to him to watch him lie there with his eyes closed, gasping for air as I did.

And the longer I stared at him unnoticed, the more doubts came back to my mind...

No doubts about me or this breathtaking sex, but doubts about what this meant to him in the first place.

Did he only want me because I was there? Would he have been lying there with my sister now? Was I just an easy adventure that, once politics worked out, he would banish from his life?

And then I realized why I was even thinking about it... I had fallen in love with him...

"What are you thinking about?" he suddenly asked and it was only after I looked into his eyes in response to his question that I noticed that he seemed to be watching me too.

"Politics," I said then caught and he immediately turned to me, supported his head on his hand and looked at me confused.

"Politics?" he repeated, grinning, and I caught him glancing down my naked body briefly before meeting my eyes again.

"Yes," I breathed, turning my face back to staring straight ahead at the white ceiling. "I was just wondering what will happen when you reach your goal. Will you then divorce me again?"

There was a moment of silence that I found completely uncomfortable and when I looked back at him uncertainly, he took his eyes off me and got up so quickly that I had to reorient myself first.

I propped myself up on my arms and watched in wonder as he put his clothes back on and didn't say a word.

In fact, I would have preferred at that moment if he had yelled at me or kicked me out because the silence was just frightening.

"I still have some things to do," he suddenly said as he buttoned his shirt and it made me incredibly angry that he didn't even look at me when he said this.

"Are you serious?" I wanted to know in a loud voice and pulled the black blanket around my body to also find my way to my feet. "You fuck me and as soon as I start thinking about the future you want to run away?"

"No," he said with a coldness that just startled me, after we had just been so close. "I'm leaving because you doubt me!"

"I don't doubt it!" I defended myself, but somehow he was right, but wasn't that completely normal?

"Keeva, I really have a crush on you," he began, stepping close to me. "But you have to give this whole situation time. How long have you been here? Less than a week and you're already thinking about the future. It's too much pressure for me."

"Too much pressure?!", I said angrily and started looking for my clothes, completely overwhelmed. "But you didn't have too much pressure to get sucked off!"

As soon as I said those words, he grabbed my chin hard and glared at me. His eyes alone made me tremble slightly and I didn't recognize him at all.

"Watch what you say and don't even think of blaming me for starting YOU voluntarily!"

I wanted to break away from him, but he wouldn't let me and only after the first tears welled up in my eyes did he remove his hand from my chin, run to the door and disappear out of it.

You did a great job again!

It annoyed me that I had even thought about it like that. Of course he didn't want to think about the future after such a short time, but I felt it was important to know what I was up to... But now I regret it and would rather be ignorant and happy than in the emotional chaos I was in now found.

"Shit!" I cursed, then dressed quickly to collect myself and wonder where I was supposed to go now.

In my room upstairs I no longer felt comfortable because of the stranger, here in the room I couldn't stand it a second longer and I didn't want to go downstairs either because I wasn't sure where Rian had gone in the first place.

I hesitantly ran aimlessly to the door, opened it quietly and peered into the hallway like a burglar, but I didn't hear anything except soft music.

She came from across the room and I didn't think twice and knocked, hoping it was Senan's room, which luckily it was.

"Well," he grinned at me and we stood in the doorway wearing only sweatpants to look me up and down. It made me uncomfortable, but still better than sitting in the hallway.

"May I come in?" I asked him, suddenly catching myself staring at his lip piercing, which he was playing around with, smiling.

"Enough of the ice block?" he asked with a raised eyebrow and I just rolled my eyes at that.

"No, but he's busy and I don't want to be alone."

He gave me a short piercing look before opening his door a little and letting me in.

"Nero," I smiled and immediately he jumped off the small couch to run towards me.

As I squatted down to pet Nero, Senan closed his door and I started looking around curiously.

It was furnished very differently from Rian's room.

There were posters of rock bands everywhere and his single bed, which was against the wall at the back, had LED lights that flashed in different colors over and over again. There was a couch in front of me and on the other side was a huge wall unit with a TV and an incredibly expensive-looking sound system.

"Would you like something to drink?" he snapped me out of my observation, dropping onto his couch to place another glass on the glass table in front of him.

"What have you got there?"

"Homemade by Jake," he grinned, and I immediately shook.

"Better nothing then," I said and then winced violently when I suddenly noticed someone behind me.

"It tastes good, though," Jake whispered in my ear and, wide-eyed, I turned to him who was apparently hiding behind the door.

"As?"

"Security guards are corrupt, like everything else," Senan laughed at my startled reaction and at the same time Jake put his arm around my shoulder.

"Let's have a drink."

***

Before I could somehow talk my way out of the whole thing, Jake pushed me on my back to the green couch and when I sat down unsteadily on it, I sat right between the two and at first just felt uncomfortable.

My imagination was already showing me images of Rian about to blow Jake's head off, but when I glanced to my right, Jake was sitting comfortably and didn't seem to be worried about anything.

I would also like to have such a carefree manner!

With one hand wrapped in a bandage, he held a clear jar in the other and handed it to me.

"Thanks," I murmured, then sniffed at the contents, which immediately made me wrinkle my nose in disgust. "Oh my god, what is that again?"

"Just try it. Smells worse than it tastes," Jake laughed and Senan looked at me curiously.

Great! A sip would do...

I hesitantly brought the glass to my mouth, trying not to inhale, then sipped, taking another sip, genuinely surprised.

"You're right. It even tastes slightly sweet," I admitted, but at the same time put it right back on the table, because although it didn't taste all that bad, I immediately felt the warmth of the alcohol in my stomach.

A long time passed with the music playing softly from the red hot chili peppers, sipping and smoking Senan next to me while I watched Jake look at photos of cars on his phone.

And then I drank, because strangely enough I was starting to feel good. I didn't put too much pressure on anyone here and didn't have to worry that they would storm out of the room... But I still missed him and that really got on my nerves. I didn't want to feel like a crush on a teenager...

After I drank my glass and Jake poured me another, I finally tried to talk to Senan.

"Do you know where Rian went?" I asked uncertainly and he immediately caught my eye, causing me to avoid him and stare at his tattoos on his chest for a little too long.

I blushed, he grinned and I stared at the glass in my hands in embarrassment.

"A business dinner with the Russians," he replied, and I immediately looked at him, because shouldn't I be present at such dinners, or wasn't it all about politics?

"The Russians," Jake suddenly laughed next to me and I looked over at him in confusion. "So that's why you guys fought?"

"How do you know we had a fight?" I asked him and he pointed to the door.

"You've heard a lot in the last few hours. It was quite interesting, but the argument at the end was the clearest to understand."

I blushed bright red at his stupid grin and felt my entire body heat up. I didn't even know if it was my shame or the alcohol, but I pulled myself together because I wanted to know why he thought I had to fight about some Russians.

"And why should I argue with him over dinner?"

"Because of the escort ladies," Senan said and I turned curiously in his direction again.

I would definitely get whiplash today.

"What ladies?"

He played with his lip piercing and then lit a cigarette and slowly blew the smoke in my face.

"Russians don't welcome wives. First they talk business, then they drink, and while they're laughing and feeling like the greatest, women strip around them and get naked on their laps. Then there's groping and... Highlight of a closed deal gets fucked."

I stared at him with my mouth open and thought at that moment that he was probably just kidding me, but he looked deep into my eyes and there was no sign of a ruse or a lie...

"Well then," I said confidently and didn't want to let it be known what a hurricane of anger and desperation was raging in my innermost being. "Let's hope he's having fun!"

I downed my glass in one gulp and didn't even wait for Jake to pour me another glass, but took the bottle myself and then had several more before Senan said it was enough and I settled back on the couch.

"Why do you even mind so much? Thought you were just pretend married?" Jake asked, leaning back next to me as well and then pointing the cigarette he was holding right to my lips keep.

My head was already on flight mode from all the alcohol and like it was the most normal thing in the world, I parted my lips slightly and took a puff on the cigarette, looking deep into Jake's eyes and feeling a strange feeling in my stomach.

Very slowly, my mouth filled with the smoke, which I then slowly exhaled while still looking at Jake.

"We are too, but it still bothers me," I answered him honestly and then felt my chin move from one hand to the other.

"With Rian you can be sure that he only uses people. He doesn't love anyone and he will never be able to do that," Senan breathed into my face and now it was he who held his cigarette in front of my mouth and came so slowly I felt like I was in an erotic film and this would be the most absurd foreplay ever.

"And why can't he?"

My head was somehow just as foggy as the whole room, and with relish, I took a drag of his cigarette before feeling something on my hand and watching Jake hand me a new glass.

"Because he's just scared, Keeva," Senan whispered close in my ear, and overwhelmed by this closeness, I held my breath and turned to face him, feeling his breath on my cheeks. "Love takes courage, but what if he's already lost the greatest love of his life and remembers the pain every day and is too afraid to feel that feeling again?"

I stared at him in complete confusion, not knowing what to think or feel anymore. Everything turned with ease, as if I were floating and at the same time I learned such serious things about my husband, which I could no longer sort out properly because of all the alcohol and smoke.

"I'm not afraid of love," he added, fixing me with his brown eyes, causing me to quickly turn my head to the other side and notice with a start how close Jake suddenly was to me too.

"Neither do I," he breathed, and I knew immediately it was a mistake to enter this room!