43

I was sitting on a bench in front of our trailer, watching kids from our huge family playing soccer and enjoying the sun on my skin, until I saw an old friend of my mother's walking towards me. I rolled my eyes inwardly because she was the kind of gypsy who took money to tell your future. Of course she was often right, but it all seemed like the greatest madness to me.

"Hello, little Keeva," she greeted me and took off her headscarf to simply sit next to me without being asked. I was feeling so nauseous and hot anyway, I really didn't need her talking. "Have you been at the doctor?"

I looked over at her confused and then raised an eyebrow. "No, I won't give you any money for you to tell me what rare disease I have," I hissed annoyed and was about to run away, but she held my hand and made me put her gray ones in again eyes to see.

She was really creepy!

"You're not sick," she laughed like a witch, looking up at the sky. Her creepy demeanor gave me goosebumps and I quickly withdrew my hand from her again.

I turned my back on her and when she said something again, I stopped dead in my tracks.

"You're going to be a good mother, just like your mother," she giggled, and annoyed that she dared to take me for a fool, I turned back to her.

"What nonsense are you talking about?!" I got louder and she got up to stand right in front of me.

"An IUD can slip out of place, or even wash out with your period, kid. You should see a doctor really soon, but don't worry, she's fine."

She placed her hands on my abdomen and my head now felt completely empty. Of course I didn't believe her, but the idea alone was so beautiful that I could hardly see anything around me.

"You have visitors, see you."

I turned questioningly to the street, still completely overwhelmed and suddenly saw Cathan getting out of his car, the sight of which made my heart almost stop.

Yes, I never really liked him, but he was a connection to Rian and just that thought made me find my way to him immediately. I quickly walked towards him while he lit a cigar and took off his dark jacket over his white shirt.

"Cathan?" I spoke to him and stood uncertainly a few meters in front of him. "What are you doing here?"

I stared briefly into the car and suddenly realized that I was hoping to see Rian, but unfortunately Cathan was alone.

"I'll take you home," he suddenly said in complete surprise and I looked him up and down with a frown.

He hated me... why would he say that? Had he misdosed his painkillers?

"All my sons are useless anymore and even if I don't like to admit it, your absence is probably the reason for it."

I listened to his words with wide eyes and at the same time felt an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach, as if I would throw up again. It hurt me a lot that the three of them were doing badly and I couldn't prevent my eyes from filling with tears.

"Cathan, I can-"

"Cathan?!" my father interrupted me, coming towards us with his undershirt and an ax in his hand.

Fuck!

"Theo," Cathan said unimpressed and then turned to my father, who looked back and forth between us in confusion.

"What's going on here?" he asked, standing right next to me while my pulse was already racing.

"I want to kidnap your daughter again," Cathan grinned and my father immediately laughed out loud and gripped his ax tighter.

"You conceited asshole thinks that you own everything! Try it," he challenged Cathan, who then just rolled his eyes.

"You bastard haven't changed in all these years!"

Wait, do they know each other?

"You for it all the more!"

There was a brief silence in which the two just glared at each other angrily until my father glanced at me briefly.

"We will be right back."

Stunned, I stared at both of them as they just disappeared past me towards the trailer and I was basically terrified the whole time that one of them would not come out alive.

The next few minutes passed sluggishly and I paced impatiently up and down the stone floor, thinking a thousand thoughts about what they were talking about, if they were talking at all and what it was about...

About me! That was clear, but I hardly believed that the two would find a solution. Everything was too tricky for that, until, looking at Cathan's car, I suddenly stopped thinking about what he was asking of me or what my father was asking. Not even what family honor required. At that moment I was only thinking about what I wanted for myself and if only for once in her life this old hag would tell the truth, then now would be the most important reason of all to go back to Rian.

I missed his laugh, his eyes, his touch and his closeness and with my eyes closed a small smile of confidence crossed my lips because Padraig was absolutely right. My mother would never have wished that I had become unhappy. She would wish me exactly what I had with Rian.

A life full of love and happiness and maybe a little miracle was already growing inside me... Not just maybe, because I suddenly really noticed that I hadn't had a period for a long time. I thought it was stress, but now I'm sure it had nothing to do with it.

I walked purposefully towards the trailer, heard them arguing from outside and then opened the door to take my father's sights.

"Dad," I addressed him, not avoiding his eyes for a moment while they both fell silent and listened intently to my words. "I love you and I love our family. I have so much respect for our traditions and customs that I tried to do something that broke me, but now it's time to think about myself and my life. I'll go," I said, feeling tears running down my cheeks but not paying any attention to them. "And I hope I can still get in touch with you at any time. If not, then I'll still learn to live with it."

My father looked almost frozen while I could almost hear Cathan smirk next to me.

"Here," he said, holding out his key. "Go and bring my son's heart back."

I looked at him confused and took the key, after which my father suddenly grabbed my arm.

"Keeva," he breathed almost breathlessly and I thought he was trying to make me feel guilty again, but even that wouldn't have stopped me now. "Please don't forget to call me more often."

He had tears in his eyes, but his words assured me that Padraig was right. Even if I turned my back on my family now, it would still be my family. come what may...

"I call you every day," I replied through sobs and hugged him tightly for a moment, only to gather the courage to finally return to my real home, even though I was still scared.

Who knew if Rian would even want to see me after I'd just let him down.

"Now drive before I change my mind," my father said and I quickly left the trailer to walk to Cathan's huge car. Could I drive such a ship at all???

And how would he come back?

Well, not my problem!

I climbed into the car with shaking hands, took one last look at the big square, and then started the engine to see with relief that it was automatic.

While I carefully drove off, horrible, classical music played from the boxes and the question as to why Cathan was usually in such a bad mood was probably answered by the taste of his music. I quickly switched to the radio and with nice RnB music I looked out for the road signs that guided me safely through the sun directly to my destination.

The drive seemed like an eternity, but since I decided to return, time and space had lost their meaning. I just wanted to be in his arms and tell him how sorry I was. Confessing to him that it was my biggest mistake and explaining how much I longed for him...

The sun went down slowly but surely and finally I saw the first villas that looked familiar to me, until all of a sudden I was right in front of the villa, which, despite its popularity, took my breath away.

I carefully parked Cathan's car on the side of the road and got out hesitantly. I felt so much at that moment that I could hardly organize my emotions. At the same time, I was dancing for joy, screaming for happiness, but also shaking with panic and my heart racing with fear.

"Don't be a coward now!" I admonished myself and took a deep breath to walk step by step towards the gate, where John suddenly greeted me with a smile as if I had never been away.

"Mrs.-"

He paused and I arched an eyebrow in anticipation, a smile forming on my lips as well.

"I'm very happy to see you," he said politely and opened the gate, through which I then took the last few steps, painfully slowly.

To my side I saw the BMW I was so familiar with. Got goosebumps at the sight of him, then turned to knock on the dark wooden door several times.

"Wait!", I heard Senan's voice from inside and I got so hot and cold at the same time just from this sound that I thought I would fall over with excitement.

"Yes?"

He opened the door, staring at his cell phone and when his eyes suddenly met mine, I could see him very closely as all color drained from his face in one fell swoop. A gleam reached his dark eyes and I couldn't help but smile and cry while he didn't seem to fully realize I was really standing there.

"That's impossible!", I heard Odran behind him, who stepped past his brother with wide eyes to pull me into his arms so tight that I couldn't breathe for a few seconds.

"Odran! You're killing me!", I breathed breathlessly and immediately he let go of me, grinning at me.

"I really will if you get the idea to just run away again," he explained in a serious voice and winked while Senan was now in control of his senses again.

"You're staying, aren't you?" he asked excitedly and when I then nodded in agreement, he threw himself into my arms with tears and it seemed like a load fell from his shoulders.

I immediately hated myself. I had always thought that I had to be there for my father, but he hadn't needed me a single day in the last three months and for that I had left behind people who were somehow not complete without me were.

"I'm glad you're back," explained Senan, who then released me and looked at Odran. The two stepped aside so I could enter the house and to my amazement, nothing had changed at all.

"Where is he?" I asked them excitedly and turned to watch them both nodding over to the front window.

"He's at the beach every evening," Odran said, and I immediately turned to the corridor door to leave the villa and make my way to the stairs.

I had completely forgotten how beautiful everything looked here. I breathed in the fresh air and looked out to sea until I landed on the sand and gasped in shock.

Further away I recognized Rian sitting on the sand and staring at the sea. Nero was lying next to him and if I had had my drawing pad with me, it would have been the perfect picture.

Very slowly and cautiously I walked in their direction, feeling my heart beating very fast and could hardly catch my breath, until Nero suddenly turned around to me and not a second later started running howling.

"Oh god," I breathed, kneeling in the sand to quickly clasp my most loyal companion in my arms. He licked all over my face, seemed beside himself with friends and when I suddenly heard Rian's voice, my entire body vibrated with the adrenaline rushing through me.